“There you are!” June says with a smile. “I’m running to the store and thought I might get some things for us to make cookies together tomorrow. Would you like to do that? Doesn’t that sound fun?”
I can’t even bring myself to respond. I nod yes, trying my hardest to appear normal. Thank god for Cocoa’s rambunctious licking and prancing because her antics mask my embarrassment.
“Um sure, that sounds good. Sure, okay.”
My reply is mumbled and incoherent but my mom notices nothing. June merely smiles and nods back at me.
“Oh good, sweetie. I’m looking forward to spending time with you.” Then, she heads back downstairs, closing the door behind her.
I let out a huge sigh of relief, my entire body collapsing bonelessly.
That was so close!
Meanwhile, Cocoa curls up in my lap and I scratch behind her ears.
“Thanks girl,” I murmur. “You’re a lifesaver.”
Then again, I do feel guilty. My mom is sitting downstairs thinking about baking with me tomorrow, and here I am in my room drawing dirty pictures of my best friend’s older brother! What have I become?
But I just can’t help myself because Dane is SO hot. He’s muscular, ripped, tatted and everything that a woman would want.
Nonetheless, I have to be careful. Cautiously, I put the journal into my beach bag, and then stash the entire thing beneath the bed, making sure it doesn’t peek out. I’m going to need to be incredibly careful with this diary if I’m going to keep indulging in my fantasies this way. How embarrassing would it be if someone found my drawings?
But then, I plop down on my bed and sigh. Drawings are one thing, but real life another entirely. As I lean back, the air exits my chest and a pleasurable longing settles into my pelvis again. What would it be like with Dane? Does he actually look like that, the way I’ve envisioned? I’d love to know, but unfortunately, I’ll never get the opportunity.
4
Zoe
I’m standing outside of my car in front of Patty’s house. Today is the Restons’ annual Fourth of July bash, and the party’s already started, judging from the cacophony of voices, music, and splashing coming from the back. I’ve attended every year since I can remember, and it’s always an absolute blast. But this year is a little bit different because this year’s party could be my opportunity to get closer to Dane.
I know, I know. It’s a silly thought really. He’s so much older. He’s sophisticated, mature, gorgeous, and also my best friend’s brother. Even worse, he’s never even noticed me, and is unlikely to do so this year either. But the heart wants what it wants, right?
In years past, I would throw my hair up in a messy bun, slip a t-shirt over my swimsuit, and call it a day. But today, I took a bit more care while getting ready and it’s all because of Dane. Even if this is totally futile, I still want to try.
Over my new white bikini, I have on a red cover-up. It is casual yet subtly sexy too. It’s a plain, flowy silk caftan with a plunging neckline that’s open beneath my arms. The red looks sexy on me, especially with the line of the white bikini top peeking out along my breast line.
I have on minimal, natural makeup, making sure to skip the eye shadow to prevent smears in the pool. My hair is tied in a loose braid draped over my right shoulder, just the way I see in magazines sometimes. Of course, I’m not wearing heels. I’ve seen girls on reality TV shows do that, but it’s too hoochie. I still have my flat sandals on, even if these are the ones with a gold buckle instead of my usual plastic flip flops.
I take a deep breath and make my way to the backyard but before I can even clear the corner of the house Patty has spotted me and is running my way.
“Zooeeeeee!” she squeals loudly, evidently already in full party mode. “You’re here! Ugh, what took you so long?! Never mind, I’m just so happy you’re here now.”
She steps back and looks me up and down.
“Goddamn! So that explains the hold up. You look so sexy, girl. What’s the occasion? Is there someone here you’re trying to meet?” she asks boldly. I almost choke, my face flushing red.
“No, no of course not,” I say lightly, trying to look casual. “The occasion is the party, duh.” I say with feigned confidence. “I’m so tired of always looking blah, so I wanted to glam it up some.”
Fortunately, Patty buys it. She nods and beams, taking my hand.
“Well you look great! Now come on, rip the silky cover-up off because it’s time to go swimming! We set up these sprinklers and jets that are sooo cool.”