June and Conrad look at me with expressionless faces. Honestly, this is getting kind of creepy, but I continue with my speech.
“I have, however, applied to the Artists’ Guild. It’s a private school specializing in fine art, and it’s actually not too far from here so I can still visit on weekends. Now, I know this isn’t what you guys want, but I’ve already made up my mind. I’m going to art school and not some four-year bullshit university which isn’t going to have a single course that interests me.”
I take a deep breath because it feels good to finally put this out there. The school issue was choking me, and making me feel like I couldn’t breathe. I know Conrad and June want me to be an accountant, or something similarly boring, but I just can’t. I want to delve into the arts, and their idea of an education isn’t going to help me get there.
“So that’s it,” I say with finality, getting up. “I’m glad we had this talk.”
Then, the kettle boils over.
“Oh, my goodness, would you stop?” my mom cries. June’s face is red and her chin is trembling. If I didn’t know better, I’d say those are tears in her eyes. Now it’s my turn to stare blankly at them.
Why would my mom cry? That seems over the top. I knew they wouldn’t be happy about my decision to go to art school, but at least it’s still school. It’s not like I’ve decided to smoke weed in my room for the rest of my life.
I expected something along the lines of “I am so disappointed in you” or “I’d hoped better for you.” But instead, my mom is on the verge of breaking down while my dad sits there with his lips pressed tightly into a line.
“This is not about college,” my dad clarifies in a shaky voice. “This is about something much more serious.” Then, he pulls something out of his lap and eases it onto the kitchen table. At that point, my heart stops and it becomes difficult to breathe.
“My diary?! What on earth are you two doing with my diary? You have no right! You didn’t read it, did you?”
“You’re darn right we read it,” my mom sobs. She puts her face in her hands and begins to bawl. “We didn’t even need to read it. We saw the pictures.”
“You had no right!” I scream again, reaching to snatch the diary from the table. But my dad beats me to it, and holds it out of my grasp. Cocoa senses something is up because she bolts to her feet, looking at the three of us with curious eyes.
To my horror and disbelief, Conrad opens the journal to the page where I drew my fantasy pictures of Dane. Nothing could be more unsettling than seeing my father holding a sketch of my older boyfriend naked and jacking off. The ecstasy on Dane’s face is only matched by the horror in my parents’ expressions, and my whole world begins crumbling around me.
There must be a way to undo this. But how?
“How long has this been going on?” my dad says through gritted teeth. He’s obviously repulsed, trying not to touch any part of the sketch.
I think quickly on my feet.
“It’s just a drawing, you guys. This is really embarrassing that you guys found that, but there’s nothing to it. I’ve had a crush on Dane since I was a kid and I just got carried away one day. That’s all there is to this. It’s just a bunch of sketches. Now, can I please have my diary back?”
My mom looks at me through her tears.
“Zoe, do you think we are that dumb?” she asks slowly.
Shit. They read the whole thing.
“After finding the pictures we flipped to your journal entries to see out if anything was going on between the two of you,” my dad finishes for her. “We were dumbstruck by how you’ve been spending your time this summer.”
“Why were you in my diary in the first place?!?! Have you no shame? That is an invasion of my privacy! Do you always go through my room when I’m not there?” I scream with fury.
The look at me grimly.
“That’s the least of your worries, Zoe Matilda Canning,” my dad says in a tight voice. “You have far more serious problems.”
I’ve really irked them this time. But this isn’t fair! Unfortunately, my parents don’t see it that way.
“Zoe, Dane Reston is twenty-five,” my mom pleads. “He’s a man and you’re just a child. It’s bad enough that you’re entertaining these romantic feelings for him, but you let him trick you into having sex with him. Oh my god, what’s become of my daughter?” my mom moans. “My poor baby girl has been seduced by a man who didn’t even finish high school!”