“I’m happy I’m with you too,” she answers in the most serious tone.
Anyone who fucks with her this weekend will be leaving with a cracked skull or in a body bag.
Serena
Smile so no one sees how broken you are inside.
After my ordeal with Shadow, I swore I’d never set foot in this clubhouse again.
Once Gray and I got together, though, I knew visiting here would be inevitable. It’s different now. Z’s the president. Shadow’s…gone. But damn if there won’t be reminders of that bastard everywhere. Sway may not be president, but he’s still a member, which means Tawny and her forked tongue of evil is sure to be lurking somewhere.
I didn’t miss the disappointment in Gray’s eyes when I reminded him to keep our baby a secret. He’s been away from the club for too long. Our news will be celebrated at first. Then it will become ugly gossip. Tawny will imply I trapped Gray on purpose. She’ll probably say something gross about him being desperate after being in prison for so long. Nope. I’m not subjecting Gray to that. He’s been through enough.
Eventually, it’ll be impossible to hide. Hopefully, I’ll be prepared to handle it by then.
I’m a jumble of emotions as I cling to Gray’s hand. Fear, shame, anxiety. I don’t know why but I can’t stop any of them. It’s a miracle I held on for the ride down here.
As we step inside the familiar wide front doors, my entire body tenses. I angle myself, almost resting my forehead against Gray’s arm to shield me from the memories.
Z stops in the center of the main room and opens his arms wide. “Welcome to downstate, Grinder.”
I tip my head up, keeping my gaze locked on Gray’s face. His wide eyes slowly take in every detail and he nods with approval.
Shock sets in as I follow his gaze.
So many things have been upgraded and replaced, it doesn’t even look like the same clubhouse I remember.
I blow out a long, slow breath. Maybe this won’t be so bad. The ghosts of my past can’t chase me down hallways that look completely different from the ones in my nightmares. I feared reminders of Shadow would stain every part of this place. The cracked tiles where I’d once caught the heel of my shoe and twisted my ankle as Shadow dragged me to his room has been replaced with gray laminate floors that resemble wide wooden planks. The ratty, stained couches have been replaced with comfortable looking black leather pieces. The bar I used to hide behind to make myself useful to the club has colorful lighting installed above and around it now, giving it a cheerful glow. More shelves have been added. The barstools have been upgraded to tall chairs with plushy black leather spinning seats. The wooden bar itself is the same, but it glistens and sparkles under the brighter lights.
“Wow,” I breathe out.
Jigsaw brushes up against my other side and I peer up at him.
“We fixed a lot of things since the last time you were here,” he says quietly.
I could take his words several ways but I choose the most obvious. “I see that. It looks great.”
I risk peeking down the hallway leading to most of the members’ bedrooms and the VIP guest rooms. No more thin, scratchy carpet that had rubbed my knees raw more than once. The dirty, beat-up walls have been patched and painted a soothing, soft gray.
The others take off to the kitchen or their rooms, but Z asks us to follow him.
“You can give me a grand tour later,” Gray says.
“Yeah, sure.” Z slips his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Lilly will find you guys a room.”
“Everything all right, Gray?” Rock asks.
Gray’s jaw tightens. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He doesn’t bother hiding his irritation.
Rock raises his hands and backs away.
Anxiety prickles over my scalp but Gray’s eyes hold nothing but affection when he turns them on me.
“Let’s see what we’ve got.” Lilly captures my hand and drags me into the small room Z claimed as his office when he arrived. She grabs a binder from the top of a filing cabinet and flips it open, turning it so I can see the map of the clubhouse.
“Oh, that’s neat.” The officers’ rooms are marked off. Even the upstate officers seem to have permanent rooms here now. “How about this one, near Wrath. He likes his privacy, so I doubt he’ll bother you guys. Rooster’s nearby, too.”
“That’s fine.” As if it matters what I think.
Lilly’s big, concerned eyes study me for a few unnerving seconds. “Are you all right?” she asks softly. “Being back here, I mean.”
Shame heats my cheeks and steals my words, but I nod quickly. “The place looks so different.”
Her expression brightens. “Z and I went to California for a quick trip. When we came back, the guys had most of the front room redone. The whole first floor, including all the bedrooms, has been remodeled. The pool area’s fixed. The second floor’s in various stages of upgrades. Well, you’ll see. Z was touched they worked so quickly to get it done.”