While Casper is helping me, I notice that the black rose on his right hand matches the coloured one on the side of Ryan’s neck.
Mum used to love roses. They were her favourite. As always, the sight of them, even as a tattoo, makes the longing I still hold inside me for her love and affection howl, its echoes tearing through me at the thought that my daughter might feel the same someday.
I drop the teabags into the clean mugs Casper puts down in front of me, and then he pours the boiled water over them while standing behind me. His other hand rests on my waist, rounding to my belly and then back.
When I look up at him, his soft, dark chocolate gaze searches my face before settling on mine. “No matter what happens, I’ll always do whatever it takes to keep you safe. So long as I’m alive, you never have to worry about any fucking outcome because I’ll be there to make sure it’s always the same. That you and our daughter are safe. Understand?”
I nod, turning to stir the tea before I remove the bags. The mere thought of anything happening to him crushes me. I hate it. It’s suffocating. And it?
?s taking everything in me to hold the sob burning inside me.
“Look at me,” he murmurs, stepping to my side, blocking us completely from Arabella and Ryan. “Don’t be scared, Trouble. I’m going to make sure that you’re more than able to look after yourself and our girl. I promise we’re going to make you a bigger, badder, better killer than me.”
He grins wickedly, and I nod. Fisting his T-shirt, I pull myself closer to him. He’s got it wrong; I’m not scared of losing him simply because of what might happen. I’m devastated at the thought of living in this world without him. I can’t fathom it.
Chapter 9
CASPER
Of course Arabella would notice that Ryan wasn’t using his usual phone, and of course she would know that the ancient brick he was using was a burner that can’t be traced. She knows all those things because she knows how we operate. But still, I’m pissed that Ryan gave in to her so quickly.
I don’t care what he thinks he owes her, the reality is that if he doesn’t get his head in the game…I’ll tear him to pieces if anything happens to Fleur or the baby. History won’t repeat itself on my watch. So, it’s time to call in more favours.
“Don’t know who you are. Don’t fucking care. Don’t call back.”
“Cameron!” I growl into the phone.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
“Deadshot.” He clears his throat and puts the crazy on the back burner. “Gladstone.”
“I need a favour.”
“Yeah?” he chuckles.
“Yeah,” I reply, focusing on the flowers in the middle of the table. They’re almost a week old and starting to droop, but they’re holding the petals well considering most wilting flowers would shed them.
They really do remind me of Fleur. No matter how weary she gets, she holds herself together with her wit and her sarcasm. I don’t want her to lose that fire ever.
“What? Where? When? How?”
I take a deep breath, resisting the urge to let him loose on this entire fucking world. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh.” Disappointment echoes down the line.
“I need security.”
“What? I’m not Ryan. I don’t do that shit. If you want a babysitter, I’m not your fucking guy.”
“It’s not like that.”
“You keep fucking telling me it’s not like that, which means there are rules. Fucking rules only serve to get people killed.”
“I need you to watch my back,” I tell him.
We’re both silent for a beat before he whistles down the line and says, “Okay.”
“Thank you.”