“Now we’re talking. I’ve heard that there’s this place in Spain,” she says with a yawn. Still exhausted. Drawing myself closer, I pepper her hair with kisses as she continues. “Where people are untouchable. And in the summer the meadows are covered in flowers and sunshine.”
When she’s fast asleep, I watch her, like I watched while the doctors and nurses took care of her. I keep watching and listening to her breathe. Thinking about her words.
There’s never been anyone in my entire life that amazes me like her. No one I’ve feared losing more. Not one person that has corrupted my loyalty or dedication like she has.
Fleur isn’t the storm; she’s my moon. Without her I am a stagnant ocean. No feeling. No warmth. Without her there isn’t a life.
The door opens a crack, and Christopher and Arabella peer in. I’ve sent every visitor away so far, with the exception of Lucian. The pain and turmoil in his eyes when he first arrived at the hospital was devastating. It made me sick to the pit of my stomach.
“I can’t keep her away any longer.” Christopher gives me a sorry grimace.
“All I want is to make sure that she’s okay. I want to see it for myself.” Arabella comes closer, taking in Fleur’s face and arms. “She and Cameron…they saved me. He died because he gave me his vest when the Chief got there. He was going to get her so he could get us out and…” She doesn’t finish.
Still visibly shaken, she sinks into the chair with tears pouring from her eyes.
“Your dad contacted Cameron’s family. Ryan’s with them—he wanted to be there since you couldn’t be.” Christopher puts a small bag down by the bed before he sits on the arm of the chair Bella’s sitting in. “We have the money the Russians are after. Well, part of it. Until we find Kingsley. Freddie’s onto it.”
“Good. We need to end this. Once and for all.”
We can’t keep fighting a blind war. Sooner or later the consequences will annihilate us. The web of lies and cover-ups we’re having to weave to maintain appearance is getting harder to keep hidden away.
“The files Freddie’s been working on?”
“What about them?”
Slowly, I lift Fleur from my arm so I can get up and talk closer with Christopher. I don’t want to disturb her with our conversation.
“They’re to do with the Williamson mission.”
“What?”
The mention of it makes me cringe. Everything about that mission was doomed. And every day I have to live with the blood of the people whose lives were lost. Soldiers and innocent civilians.
“My grandfather never wanted Charles as the Foreign Sec. He always said he couldn’t handle the responsibility or the power. I assumed that he thought he was weak. I think he knew. It’s why Kingsley had him killed. Kingsley needed Charles as Foreign Sec to enable the Russians to move freely under the guise that he was collecting intelligence.”
“He didn’t have the influence to send Williamson on a bartering mission to Syria.”
“No, Williamson did that. Charles sold him out. It’s all in the encrypted files. Emails and phone calls incriminating him and Kingsley, and your superior at the time, who was conveniently handed the role of Chief of Defence. A hero for bringing what was left of Williamson home.”
“While the soldiers that did their dirty work paid the price.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Casper,” Arabella says as she takes my hand and squeezes, as though that’s going to make the truth any easier to stomach.
“I led those men. They trusted me with their lives, and I failed them.”
“You did the right thing,” she tries to assure me.
I appreciate it. Arabella has always taken it upon herself to justify all the things I couldn’t. It’s what made us close. What made me admire her.
“I do the right thing every day. We do the right things time and again.” I shuffle closer to the bed when Fleur begins to stir again. “But they still have consequences. We all know that.”
The drugs are wearing off now, and the discomfort is going to get worse. Her pain is going to be impossible to soothe completely. The only thing I can do is hold her, be what she needs.
“You’re starting to sound like my father.”
“Francis is right. The burden of doing the right thing is so much heavier than doing nothing. The consequences are—”
I pause as the door opens wide. Penny walks in with Grace in her arms, followed by Francis.