For the next few paragraphs my heart was in my throat as I slowly read Spence detailing what he’d observed during his brief visit to Gavin’s house. The way Gavin looked at me, the way we teased each other, and the soft expression on Gavin’s face when he talked about me.
I reassured Gavin that he’d already pinged my gaydar so he didn’t have to worry about explaining why he’d hidden this for so long. Any queer person would know why Gavin Brawley hid his bisexuality—coming out puts a target on the average person’s back. For a professional football player, it paints one on your back for the entire nation’s target practice. I have no doubts, and neither does he, that the consequences of this article will be brutal.
Slammed by football fans, by other athletes, a cause of debate about queer men in the locker room, and an analysis about everything he’s ever said or done. But Gavin doesn’t give a shit about that. He’s even ready to lose his spot as a starting tight end. There’s two reasons he’s coming out now—a scorned lover is planning to sell the story of their affair to a tabloid, and he’s in love.
Gavin doesn’t go into detail about his scorned lover or the man he loves (although I can guess who it is), but when he speaks, I can picture his golden eyes fiercely flashing the way they probably do during a game.
“I know people are gonna come for me. At this point I’m like . . . fuck it. Everyone went gaga over my smile, but they never stopped to wonder who caused it. Why I was suddenly so happy. They just know I looked good, and it gave them something to fantasize about. Let’s see how long it takes them to flip-flop when they realize DatBrawleySmile was so big because of a guy. But you know what? I’m ready for them to drag me just like I’m ready to live for something other than football.”
I pressed my mouth against my knee and stopped scrolling. There was literally no point in reading the comments so I started to close the tab, but paused when I saw short updates at the bottom.
Update: Simeon Boudreaux just came out as gay on Twitter in support of his teammate.
Update 2: Boudreaux states that Gavin’s now infamous cell phone beat down was about him. The man Gavin assaulted had intended to blackmail the Barons QB after a club hookup.
My breath came quicker, but I followed the links and scanned Simeon’s Tweet stream. It was short and sweet, starting with Guess what beautiful people? Gavin’s bi, and I’m gay! Before ending with Let’s see if my team releases me even though my sweet ass is planning to win the Super Bowl.
They’d both come out and openly challenged the organization that had paid them millions of dollars. I didn’t know if it was smart or foolish, but there was no way they’d done it without Mel’s support. Which meant they had a plan.
I scanned social media, saw the expected wrath of homophobes, but some of my fear abated as other players in the Barons showed up to tell haters to fuck off. Marcus, unsurprisingly, was the most vocal.
It was a brilliant show of support, more than I’d expected, but it was a text message from Joe Carmichael, of all people, that calmed my panic.
Gavin won’t pick up his phone. Tell him Mel already had a phone conference with Billy, the owner. And ESPN wants a cover story with both Gavin and Simeon. We’re feeling positive. Still too early to tell, but releasing them both would be too obvious. I’ll keep you in the loop.
I reread it three more times, dropped the phone, and crawled into bed. I pressed my body against Gavin’s.
“What you doing?” he murmured, eyes opening into slits.
“Was reading the article, and a text from Joe.” I brushed my lips against his jaw. “I think we’re gonna be okay.”
Gavin wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer, as his mouth slanted up into a smile. “I knew things would be okay soon as you said you’d stay with me,” he said in a voice still hoarse from sleep.
“Damn, Gavin. Who knew you were such a sweet-talker?”
“I have many talents. That’s just one of them.” Gavin rolled onto his back, bringing me with him. “But we’re still not moving to Queens.”
I burst out laughing as he pulled me down into another kiss. With our phones on silent, and us wrapped up in his warm bed, there was no way for the outside world to intrude. It was just our kisses, our steady heartbeats, and the snow falling outside the windows all around us.