Best of all was his body hair. Ed was a big fan of a hairy chest and constantly bemoaned the fact they were so unfashionable these days. All those should-be-hairy Hollywood stars and underwear models who waxed and shaved made Ed want to cry. He’d give anything to have more than the few paltry hairs that grew around each nipple on his own smooth chest. He did shave those off because in isolation they looked ridiculous.
Alec’s chest was glorious. Dark hair scattered evenly over his powerful pectorals, then narrowed into a trail of softer-looking hair on his belly that twisted and twined into a dark arrow leading down to his groin—like Ed needed a sign. Damn. He wished he’d taken more time to explore Alec’s stunning body last night. He would have liked to have licked and nuzzled that chest for a while before cutting to the main event. What a wasted opportunity. Maybe he should ask Alec for his number….
Alec cleared his throat. Ed’s cheeks and ears flamed hot as he realised he was ogling shamelessly. He snapped his eyes up and met Alec’s gaze. Alec’s hazel eyes were compelling in daylight, but his expression was flat and unamused. Ed blushed harder.
Alec turned his back on Ed and went to the built-in wardrobe to pick out some clothes. Ed noticed faint lines of pale scars that marred Alec’s back in the light from the window. They striped his shoulder blades, cutting across the smooth skin. Ed frowned as he wondered what could have caused them.
“I’m afraid I have to be somewhere this morning.” Alec stepped into some expensive-looking chinos, pulling them up over his muscular legs. “I’m sorry to turf you out.”
He didn’t sound sorry at all. He sounded cold, distant, and uncomfortable.
A sick feeling of disappointment settled in Ed’s belly like a stone. Not that he had really expected anything different when he came home with Alec last night, but still. In the darkness he thought he’d felt a connection, a momentary tenderness that made him hopeful. Now, in the cold light of day, he felt foolish and cursed his overactive imagination.
Ed gritted his teeth and took a deep breath before replying. “No worries. I need to head to the gym anyway, and I have lunch plans.”
Nobody liked to feel utterly disposable, and the offer of a cup of tea or coffee would have softened the rejection a little. This was exactly why Ed didn’t do one-night stands anymore, because on the odd occasion he had in the past, he always felt crap about it in the aftermath. No matter how good the sex was, it wasn’t worth feeling like shit the next morning. Even when you parted on good terms, there was something uncomfortable about the whole morning-after disconnect after spending a night with someone.
Ed pulled his T-shirt over his head and sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed to pull on his socks and shoes. The sheets were rumpled and smelled of sex. The memory of Alec thrusting between his thighs assaulted him, their bodies wrapped close as Alec kissed his neck and shoulders, over and over. The intimacy of that moment seemed a million miles away now, and Ed fleetingly wondered if he’d dreamed it. He pushed the images away and stood. “I’ll let myself out.”
Alec was still buttoning his shirt. “Okay, sure.” He looked up and met Ed’s gaze.
There was a flash of something in his dark eyes. Regret—or discomfort? Ed didn’t give a fuck right then. He just wanted to get out of there and get home so he could wash Alec off his skin.
“Goodbye, then.” Ed suppressed the ridiculous British instinct to say thank you. Thank for sucking my cock, thank you for fucking me, thank you for three amazing orgasms… but fuck you for making me feel like nothing in the morning.
Alec’s lips curved in a poor attempt at a smile. “Bye.” His eyes gave nothing away.
That was it, then. Goodbye. Not even a half-hearted “See you around.” Ed had been given the brush-off plenty of times before. He didn’t know why he was letting Alec get to him any more than usual. Somehow Alec had fooled him into thinking there was something special there during those stolen moments of intimacy in the darkness, but maybe it had all been in Ed’s head? There was certainly nothing to show for it this morning.
Ed turned on his heel and walked away. As he let himself out of Alec’s flat, he resisted the childish urge to slam the door behind him—but only just.
Ed called Fiona as soon as he got on the Tube.
“I’m on my way home. Can we go out for breakfast? I’m starving and I need to be spoiled.”
“Oh dear,” she said sympathetically. “Morning-after blues?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll see you back here soon, and then we can go out and you can tell me all about him.”