Ed felt a flash of ridiculous jealousy. Belinda wasn’t even Alec’s real girlfriend, and it wasn’t as if Ed actually wanted to go to the party, so why did he care? Alec’s family didn’t sound like a barrel of laughs. But Ed’s traitorous brain couldn’t help supplying him with a brief fantasy of being Alec’s plus-one, and of what life might be like if they were a real couple.
A loud knock saved Ed from needing to find an appropriate response. He pulled on a hotel robe and went to get the door.
“Hang on,” Alec said.
Ed realised Alec was still only in his underwear. He was standing, looking around for something to wear.
“Just get back into bed. I’m sure they’ve seen it all before.” Ed grinned.
When Alec was safely back in bed and his modesty covered by the sheets, Ed let in the girl who was delivering their breakfast. She wheeled in the trolley and unloaded two trays onto the table. She didn’t bat an eyelid at Ed in his robe and Alec half-naked and blushing in the bed.
“Thank you,” Ed said.
“Thank you, sir. Will there be anything else?”
“No, thanks.” There was an awkward pause, and then Ed realised she was expecting a tip. Fuck, he wasn’t used to this lifestyle yet. “Oh, um….” He finally located his jeans in a tangled heap on the floor by the bed and pulled out his wallet. He emptied out a handful of coins and gave them to the girl.
“Thanks,” she said with a smile before turning to leave.
“Very smooth,” Alec teased as the door shut behind her.
“You’re a fine one to talk. I saw you cowering in the bed with a face like a tomato.”
Alec didn’t try to deny it, but a flush darkened his cheeks again as Ed passed him a tray of food and coffee. “It was weird… her seeing us like this,” Alec admitted. “Even though she doesn’t know who I am and I’m never going to see her again. I’m not used to anyone knowing about me.”
“I know.” Ed brought the other tray to the bed and took off his robe before climbing back in beside Alec.
They ate in silence. Melancholy descended on Ed like mist. This morning had the feel of an ending, as though something was slipping away from him. But he was losing something he’d never really had in the first place.
When they were finished with breakfast, Alec carried the trays back to the table. Ed was surprised when he got back into bed again. Alec lay down and put his arm over Ed’s waist where he sat propped up on the pillows. He pressed his face against Ed’s hip, so Ed couldn’t see his expression. He felt the gust of Alec’s sigh against his skin.
Ed tentatively put his hand in Alec’s hair and stroked. Alec stayed where he was, so Ed kept stroking. “When do we have to check out?”
“Too soon.” Alec’s voice was soft. Then he added wistfully, “I wish we had more time.”
Regret was a dull twist in Ed’s stomach. “Me too.” He scooted down the bed so he could wrap his arms around Alec and hold him tight.
“Ed,” Alec said eventually. He drew away, just enough that they could see each other. His eyes are so beautiful, Ed thought. The clear hazel pure and compelling. When Alec held his gaze, it was impossible to look away. “I don’t want this to be over between us.”
Dangerous hope surged, making Ed’s heart pound. “But what…? How?”
“I care about you. I want to keep seeing you. I know we’re both busy, but we could manage something. It’s not ideal with us working together, of course, but when this deal is closed, I can recommend you move to a new team.”
The words flowed out of Alec so quickly, Ed could hardly make sense of them. Alec barely paused for breath before continuing.
“You said you want to work in employment law. Perhaps I could have a word with Katherine, see if they have any work for you in that department? I’m sure nobody would think it was odd or suspect anything.”
Ed’s brain raced, catching up with what Alec was saying and imagining the possibilities, what it might mean for him. For them. Maybe it could work?
Alec went on. “We’d need to be discreet, of course. Nobody could know, but we could see each other outside work.”
A cold knife sliced through Ed’s heart. “Ever? Nobody could ever know?” He searched Alec’s face for a hint that he might be ready to at least explore the possibility of a future where he didn’t have to hide their relationship.
Alec’s expression became shuttered. “I don’t know. You know how complicated this is for me. Please Ed, give me a chance. Give us a chance?”
Fuck.
No matter how much Ed wanted this, he couldn’t do it on Alec’s terms. It was almost impossible to get the word out, but he forced it past the lump in his throat. “No.” Ed felt torn in two. He wanted so much to say yes, but he couldn’t. “Alec, I’m sorry.”