“Yes! It’s a dog. Woof woof. Clever boy.”
Nick was unusually quiet during breakfast. Jackson kept trying to catch his eye but Nick’s gaze stayed on his food. He spent more time cutting his pancake and fruit into bits and pushing them around than he did eating, and left most of it on his plate.
“Are you all right, Nick?” Sue asked. “Don’t you like the pancakes? You can make yourself some toast instead if you want.”
“I’m just not very hungry.”
“Too much wine last night?” Reg suggested with a grin. “At least you made it to breakfast. That’s more than can be said for your brother.”
“It’s nothing to do with the wine.” Nick glared at him. “Like I said, I’m just not hungry. And you’re a fine one to judge Pete for drinking too much. I wonder where he learnt that behaviour?”
Reg’s smile vanished. Sue cut in quickly. “Nick! That’s enough.”
“No, Sue, it’s fine.” Reg put a hand on her arm. “I deserved that.” Silence hung heavy in the air as he met Nick’s gaze unflinchingly. Even Seth was watching them, eyes intent and brow furrowed as though he was picking up on the emotions swirling around the room. “Yes. I used to drink too much, and I’m not proud of it, and I’m not judging anyone else. I’m sorry if it sounded that way.”
A flush rose up Nick’s face, turning even his ears pink as he cast his eyes down again. “Yeah.” He shrugged. “It did a bit.”
Reg waited, as though hoping for more from him, but nothing was forthcoming.
Jackson clenched his hands into fists. Warring emotions rose from his chest, tightening his throat and pounding at his temples. He wanted to be supportive of his friend, but he also wanted Nick to stop behaving like a petulant child and meet his father halfway. It stung that Nick had a chance at rebuilding this relationship when Jackson’s dad was gone for good.
“Are we finished now?” Sue said.
Everyone answered in the affirmative, probably all as keen to break up the awkward atmosphere around the table and escape as Jackson was. He stayed long enough to do a little clearing away, before making his excuses and heading up to the bathroom on the top floor to brush his teeth.
When he was done, he didn’t feel quite ready for more of Nick’s family dynamics just yet, so he went into the bedroom and stood with his hands on the windowsill, staring out. It was a cold morning with a pale grey sky, thick frost coated the grass like icing sugar, and the bright disc of the sun was faintly visible through a thin veil of cloud.
Jackson’s breath misted the glass as he sighed.
He wished he’d never agreed to come here. He longed for the relaxed atmosphere of his mum’s house. With his family, any disagreements were superficial and were dealt with fast. This place was full of deep murky undercurrents, where old wounds and grievances constantly threatened to surface, like sharks looking for their next meal.
Anger still simmered in Jackson’s veins, so when he heard the door open he didn’t turn to greet Nick’s friendly, “Hey.”
“Hello.” He tightened his grip on the windowsill.
“I was wondering where you’d disappeared to. What are you doing?”
“Nothing. I just needed a bit of peace for a minute.”
“What’s up?” Nick moved to stand beside him and nudged him gently with his shoulder.
Jackson gritted his teeth and took a slow breath while he tried to decide how honest to be. Fuck it. This was Nick. He was Jackson’s best friend, and Jackson didn’t want to keep this in. If he did, it would eat away at him all day and make him feel worse than he already did.
“I’m finding the whole thing with you and your dad really difficult.” He kept staring out over the trees behind the house, unwilling to meet Nick’s eyes. “The sniping and tension. It’s… hard to watch.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know it’s awkward. But you know how I feel about him, so what were you expecting?”
Jackson turned to face him. “I was expecting your dad to be a grade A arsehole, so I thought it would be easy to be on your side. Not that it’s about taking sides…. But, Nick, I dunno. I just think you should give him a chance.”
There was silence. Nick drew away from him, eyes tense and wary. “Give him a chance at what? It’s not like he’s asking me for forgiveness. I haven’t even heard an apology from him yet—not for anything that happened in the past anyway.”
“But he’s trying to build bridges. I can see it in the way he is with you. Maybe he really has changed, Nick. I think you should talk to him, at least. Be honest about how he hurt you and let him have the opportunity to make amends.”