“Peter!” his mother said reprovingly.
Outside, the winter sun hung low in the sky and the temperature was dropping fast. Nick was glad they’d wrapped up warm. He breathed in the clear, crisp air and let it out in a sigh of relief.
“God, it’s good to be outdoors.”
“Yeah. It’s beautiful.” Jackson looked around. The afternoon was turning into evening and the golden light was already tinged with orange, promising a beautiful sunset. “Which way are we walking?”
“Through the back garden. There’s a gate that leads into the woods.”
They walked in silence for a while. Fallen leaves crunched under their feet, and birds sang in the branches above them, heralding the ending of the day.
“This isn’t what I expected,” Jackson said.
“What? My family?”
“Not your family so much as the place. I didn’t realise you’d grown up in such a rural setting. I’d always imagined it as more suburban, like where my mum lives.”
“It’s not that different really. The other side of the village is more like the estate where you grew up. My parents are lucky to live on the edge so they get the countryside. They were always worried this land behind the house would be sold to a developer, but it hasn’t happened yet.”
“How are you feeling now you’re back?”
“I don’t know.” Nick didn’t want to talk about it. He hadn’t had time to assess it for himself yet. “It’s too soon to tell. I’m just glad that you’re here to keep me company.” He shivered. “It would be shit to be here on my own.”
Despite the civil veneer, he could already feel the pull of old family dynamics he’d been glad to escape from. Without Jackson as a buffer it would have been unbearable. Just one conversation with Pete bragging about his career and his expensive holidays had reminded Nick how competitive he’d been as a kid, and how Nick had always felt eclipsed by his younger brother who was smarter than him, sportier than him, straighter than him. His father had always approved of Pete’s choices and never supported Nick’s.
Fuck him. I don’t need his approval.
He kicked a rotten piece of wood, sending it flying into a nearby tree.
Jackson didn’t comment.
They emerged from the wood and climbed over a stile into a grassy field. A flock of sheep eyed them curiously, and then carried on grazing as they turned and followed the path along the edge of the field. Nick put a hand on Jackson’s arm. “Let’s stop for a minute.”
Standing side by side, they admired the view. The sun would be setting soon, and the sky faded from blue overhead through shades of yellow and gold to pale orange at the horizon.
“There’s not a single cloud,” Jackson said. “Shame there’s no snow forecast. I’d love a white Christmas.”
“I’ll settle for frosty.” The last thing Nick wanted was snow, that might stop them escaping back to London as soon as Christmas was over. “It’s going to be freezing tonight. Lucky I’ll have you to keep me warm.” Nick turned with a grin, hoping for a chuckle in return.
“Look!” Jackson pointed. “What’s that? Are they birds?”
Nick followed his gaze to see a cloud of black specks moving together against the glow of the sky, twisting and turning as one like iron filings pulled by an invisible magnet. “Yes. They must be starlings. I remember seeing them do that when I was a kid.”
“There must be hundreds of them. Wow, it’s amazing how they move. How do they know which way to go?”
“I don’t know.”
The birds swooped higher, spreading out like smoke dissipating before gathering back together in a dense ball. Nick and Jackson watched in wonder as the starlings continued their complex dance for a few minutes, before finally settling into a copse of trees a few fields away.
“That was incredible.” Jackson’s eyes were bright with wonder. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
Nick smiled. “I’m glad they put on a display for you.”
“Me too.”
There was a softness to Jackson’s expression that made Nick feel as though one of the starlings had broken free from the flock and was flapping its wings inside him.
“Come on, I’m freezing,” he said briskly. “Let’s head on.”
Four
Jackson’s spirits had been lifted by the sight of the starlings, and his heart felt light as they continued their walk. The sun was a ball of fire, resting on the dark horizon.
When the path looped back into the woods, Nick paused. “Want to watch the sun set?”
“I thought you were cold?”
“I am. But it won’t take long, and it’ll be worth it. Come here. We can huddle like penguins.” He reached for Jackson and wrapped his arm around his waist. Jackson put his arm around Nick’s shoulder and pulled him closer. With the height difference, they fitted perfectly like this. “That’s better.”
They stood, watching as the sun inched its way lower and lower.