His attendant lit two tall taper candles then tucked the lighter into her pocket. She put their carry-on bags beneath the low berth, then seemed to remember one more thing.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” She reached into her storage bag and pulled out a handful of red rose petals and scattered them across the small dining table, between their plates before Meridian could stop her. He grimaced, thinking he was going far beyond what he was comfortable with, but he hoped Ex liked it.
“I can bring back dessert at a designated time,” she said.
“You got anything with lemon tonight?” he asked.
“Hmm. No. I guess the closest we’d have is our key lime pie. It’s really good.”
“Never mind,” he said. “We’d like privacy the rest of the night.”
She blushed furiously as she pushed a few strands of hair off her neck. “No problem at all.” She picked up her bag. “If you plan to propose tonight, she sure is one lucky lady. When you wake in the morning, it’ll be to a beautiful view of the Blue Ridge mountains.”
Meridian cut his gaze to her, making her freeze in place. He hadn’t meant to startle her, but her words ricocheted around in his head like boomerangs. Did Ex feel lucky to be with him? To be his? Was he being a decent boyfriend? Was he even making it worth it for Ex to stay with a grump like him, and hidden in the shadows of a closet for the rest of their lives?
“Sorry that was weird I shouldn’t’ve said that, have a nice night,” she said in one long breath then hurried out the door.
Meridian drank from the glass of water on the table while he waited. Though only a few minutes went by, it felt like more. He didn’t typically do nerves, but the attendant had him concerned. He wanted to make Ex happy, but he also wanted his work. If it was selfish of him to want both, then call him a selfish sonofabitch... but he’d be a happy one. Ex came into the room and Meridian found he didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he clasped them behind his back.
Ex narrowed his eyes at him. “What’s all this?”
Meridian shrugged like it was no big deal. “I thought we’d have um... one last date before we get back to base. I don’t know when we’ll get another chance to be together like...” Meridian shook his head and turned towards the window as the train began to ease away from the station. Shit. I am selfish.
Meridian dropped his head to his chest when Ex came and stood in front of him. “This is really something.”
Meridian felt his face getting warm.
“I like it,” Ex scoffed. “This is crazy and a little awkward, but I want to tell you the truth.”
“What truth?” Meridian asked, keeping his face hard.
“That I don’t mind you doing stuff like this when we get a chance to get away.” Ex took Meridian’s chin in his palm and lifted his head. “Whatever time we find to steal for ourselves. That’s what we’ll do. And I’ll look forward to it.”
“For how long?”
“We’ve been over this, and I don’t change my mind, do I?” Ex said softly. “You’re stuck with me in that dark ass closet... just me and you, Mere.”
Meridian nodded, unable to convey with words just what this man meant to him.
“So, what’s on the menu tonight?” Ex asked, wrapping his arms around Meridian’s neck as he felt his heart soar. “Besides you.”
“Pot roast with extra gravy,” Meridian grumbled, tilting his head when Ex undid the first two buttons on his black dress shirt and nibbled on his collar bone.
“My favorite.”
“I know.”
Ex moaned and licked Meridian’s stubbly Adam’s apple. “Just say it for me one more time before it’s time to go back into the real world.”
Meridian caressed Ex’s cool cheek. He stared at him for a long moment, realizing how easily those particular words formed on his tongue. “I love you,” he whispered, his gaze never leaving Ex’s.
“Thank you.” Ex hid his face and hugged Meridian as if they weren’t going to the same destination. They were... and they weren’t. When they got around their handlers again on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, they’d play the part of the emotionless soldiers because showing their love and possibly splitting them up wasn’t an option.
“Now you,” Meridian said, his voice husky, his groin already throbbing with need. “Let me hear it once more before we get to base.”
“Mere,” Ex groaned.
“Just one more time... for me.” Meridian wasn’t ashamed to beg... especially not for this.
“You’re ridiculous. Come on. Let’s eat.” Ex halfheartedly shoved Meridian away.
“You’re right. You’d better eat before it gets cold. You’re gonna need the sustenance.”
Ex chuckled loudly before he could stop himself and Meridian clasped both hands against Ex’s handsome face and kissed him with all he had, with all he felt, and all that he didn’t know how to say.