She rocked her hand in a so-so gesture. “How did it go at the coffee shop?”
“Everything went well. Don’t even worry about a thing on that front.”
Her eyes went to Owen. “Thank you for saying yes to working full-time, Owen. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t accepted.”
“We would’ve found you someone else,” I interrupted, but she seemed to ignore me.
They stayed for another ten minutes and then left after promising to call her a few times the next day with updates on how things were going. Her dinner arrived a few minutes later.
“I don’t want anything,” Rose protested.
“You’ll eat so you can have your pills. You heard the doctor.”
“Just a little then.”
“Yes, just a little.” I moved the rails down and sat on the edge of the bed after we adjusted it so she could sit upright enough to have a few bites of the beef stew and rice. She could barely lift her arms, let alone feed herself. “How do you feel?”
“Still a little loopy, I think, and very, very tired.”
“Do you want to have some of the sandwich Sally brought in or this?”
She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t think I can handle the sandwich right now. Soft is better.”
I cut a small bite off of a potato and gently placed it in her open mouth. She chewed it very slowly.
“I can’t breathe through my nose, Jack.”
“Dr. Martin said that was normal.”
Next, I gave her a piece of beef, following it with some rice.
I felt like a true bastard, because there was something about feeding her that was getting to me. It was an intimacy we hadn’t shared before.
“Would you like some water?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, still chewing as she looked away from me for the first time.
“Sorry for what?”
“You’re doing a lot more than what we agreed to.”
I tried not to stiffen and just kept feeding her small bites. “I thought we were done pretending—or did you forget what you said before surgery?”
“I—” I forced another forkful of rice and potatoes into her mouth before she could respond. “Of course I remember, but still, this is—”
“If you remember then stop saying stupid things and keep eating.”
A smile tugged at her lips. “Okay.”
Eventually, the nurses changed shift, and after the last check, I turned the lights off.
Rose’s eyes followed me as I made my way back to her side, her body slightly turned to the right, her head facing up.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, pulling the covers higher so her shoulders were covered.
“My nose is a little tender. It hurts when I touch it.”
“Stop touching it then. Do you want water?”
“A little.”
I helped her up and she sipped from a straw, only a few pulls.
“Enough?”
She nodded and settled down.
I turned away to put the water bottle on the bedside table.
“Jack?”
“Right here, Rose.”
“Maybe we should talk more.”
“About?”
“You know…”
“Some other time.”
“Will you stay?”
“What?”
“Are you staying tonight?”
It wasn’t completely dark in the room, but it was still hard for me to see her eyes and try to understand what was going on in her mind. Her eyes always gave her emotions away.
“You didn’t bring anything with you—no clothes, no bag—so I wasn’t sure if you’d stay tonight. You have work tomorrow so if you can’t…that’s okay.”
All I could hear from her tone of voice was that she wanted me to stay with her. They couldn’t have kicked me out even if they’d tried to anyway.
“I forgot to bring a bag. I wasn’t thinking about that,” I muttered.
We fell silent for a few moments.
“So then you are staying?”
I leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss on the edge of her lips as she closed her eyes. “Always,” I said, my voice raw. “Even when the time comes that you don’t want me anywhere near you.”
She smiled a little. “I like having you around, so I doubt that will happen.”
I wished that were true.
“Okay. Now shut up and get some rest.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Rose
The next few days I spent at the hospital were hard. More tests and doctor visits resumed, and I felt like I was about to lose my mind. I’d never appreciated the outdoors as much as I did in that hospital room.
The only good moments came at night, with Jack.
I wasn’t sure if I was feeling extra vulnerable because of the surgery and my sickness, but what I was starting to feel for him seemed like it was tripling every night we spent together in that spacious hospital room I couldn’t possibly have afforded on my own.
It was the second or third night, I was having trouble sleeping because of all the mouth breathing I had to do, and I just couldn’t get comfortable with the fact that I couldn’t breathe through my nose.
The room was dark when he spoke, and the world outside my room was quiet other than the footsteps of the nurses walking by to check on patients every now and then.