But, suddenly, the right thing just didn’t quite feel so, I don’t know, right.
So I did nothing.
I let him wrap me up.
I let him hold me.
And then I let myself fall asleep right there.
In the arms—and wings—of a demon.
I usually woke up almost in a panic. Every morning since I’d first enrolled in The Academy. A part of me was terrified of being late, of someone potentially coming in to screw with my alarm clock to make me fail, or sometimes simply because I got nightmares from the fights I’d been in, or the attacks I’d been told about.
I never woke up peacefully.
It was like adrenaline shot through my body, making me knife up and need to calm myself down for a minute before I could focus and genuinely get my day started.
But just this once, that didn’t happen.
I was awake even before my eyes cracked open.
And in that awareness before full consciousness began, I felt the perfect warmth around me. I felt the hands gently wandering up and down my body.
And I felt something else, too, something that wasn’t around me, per se, but in me.
In me, but not of me.
The connection.
It was coming from the connection.
The intensity of it took me by surprise, especially because whatever kind of link there was between our minds, it was always sort of, well, weak. I was vaguely aware of things Minos was feeling, but it was never enough for me to feel it myself.
If that made any sort of sense.
But right that moment, it was strong enough that I felt it too.
It was this tight, squeezing sensation around my heart. It was this warmth across my chest. It was this almost choked-up feeling in my throat.
It was familiar, yet not.
The closest thing I personally had to compare it to was the sort of attachment I felt to my family.
But it was much, much bigger even than that.
Overwhelming, almost.
Overwhelming, and I was getting the diluted version of it.
The word fumbled around in my brain, getting forcibly pushed away each time it tried to land, to take root.
Because it wasn’t possible.
It made no sense.
Beings like him couldn’t have those emotions.
Those were human feelings.
Right?
Even as I thought that, though, Minos leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of my head, and the explosion of the sensation through my body again made the sting of tears tease at my eyes.
There was no way I could keep denying it.
I knew what it was.
What he was feeling.
It was love.
And not even normal, common, every day love.
It was big love.
Big, grand, movie-worthy love.
Go-to-war-to-get-her-back kind of love.
Change-your-life love.
At that, my eyes shot open.
I was barely able to see in the dark, but I yanked away from him as my brain raced.
I couldn’t have change-your-life love.
With a damned demon.
I liked my life.
I had a purpose.
I had a destiny, for fuck’s sake.
I couldn’t have love with the enemy.
I mean, not that I did.
That was what he felt for me, not what I felt for him.
Right?
Right.
Absolutely.
There was no way any other reality was even possible.
“Whoa, what’s the matter?” Minos asked, brows raising at me as I slammed back against the other door, getting as far away from him as possible.
“What? Oh, ah, nothing. I always wake up in a panic,” I told him. “But, yeah, I have to get going. I need to do some research,” I said, feeling the wall starting to build inside my mind.
I could see it as he started to feel it.
“Hey…” he started, shaking his head. “We had a deal,” he added as I reached for the door handle, and damn near spilled out onto the ground in my rush to get some distance.
From him and his feelings.
Not my own.
Because I had none.
I couldn’t.
“What? Oh, right. Habit,” I mumbled, slamming the door then going around the car to gather the map, rolling it up, and tucking it under my arm. “So, do you want a ride back to your bike?” I asked, fully aware that I was talking too fast, that I was still building that wall up.
Minos stood a few feet back from me, watching me with intense, penetrating eyes.
I expected him to mention the wall again, but he surprised me by saying nothing.
Then shaking his head.
“No. I’ll hoof it. I’ll let you know if Ace has anything to say.”
“Right. Yeah. Good. And I will… let you know if I find anything in the archives.”
And with that, I got the hell out of there, hitting the pedal like I could out-race my own swirling thoughts, my own confusing emotions.
There was one thing I knew for sure, though.
I didn’t—couldn’t—have feelings for Minos.
CHAPTER TEN
Minos
She was panicking, alright.
But not because that was just how she always woke up.
Oh, no.
She forgot that the connection of ours worked both ways.
Which meant I was very much aware of her comfort and security, followed by surprise, confusion, denial, and then pure, undiluted panic.