“Stone…” My voice shakes. “What happened? What happened? Are you hurt?”
My questions are answered by silence.
Stone ignores me and pulls me to him again. His hold tightens. He sways us back and forth like a mother trying to comfort a hysterical baby. His lips brush against the top of my head in a gentle caress. I’ve never been sure that Stone has the capacity to be this gentle, but here he is, holding me as if I’m the most precious thing in the world to him.
“Stone, answer me, dammit.”
It’s as if Stone’s gone mute. There’s nothing coming out of him. And I know that there’ll be nothing coming out of him. Something’s happened, and Stone is either not ready to tell me or not willing to tell me. I shove at him, freeing myself, and push off the bed.
The first thing I notice are the splatters of blood on the wall, like some kind of Jackson Pollock painting. Except there’s no vibrance in color normally found in a Pollock piece. This appears to be splatters of red decorating a white canvas. My eyes follow the trails of blood from the wall all the way down to the carpet, where my father’s lifeless body lays surrounded by pools of blood.
I open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out—or maybe it does. I’m not sure. My eyes find Stone. He’s hugging his legs and rocking on the bed. He looks like a scared little boy, the same boy who clung to his mother’s lifeless body on the bathroom floor. I want to help him, but I’m not in a position to do anything after seeing my dad’s bloody body.
“I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. I had to do it. I had to do it. They wanted to take you away.”
My gaze moves from the body on the floor to the blood on Stone’s face, traveling down his body with the splashes of red covering his green jersey. His hands are doused in blood like he’s some kind of red-skinned alien from another planet. Then my gaze moves to the hammer lying beside my father’s head.
Stone killed my dad. The scream that escapes my mouth is shrill as the police siren rings out and footsteps charge up the stairs leading to my bedroom.
Chapter One
STONE
Have you ever seen something so beautiful, you’d be okay about going blind if it was the last thing you ever saw? That’s what it’s like watching Emily.
At the age of twelve, we moved to the projects, thanks to my mother’s excessive drug habit that caused her to lose her job. She kept telling me that it was temporary, but I’d watched her downward spiral for the past year. I understood the deal, put on a mask, and performed for the world. Which was fine by me because I had no desire to expose my fucked-up life. So, I took on the role of the popular kid. I made sure everyone liked me everywhere I went.
I made friends easily. I learned what people wanted and gave it to them. No one bothers to uncover the real you if they’re getting what they want out of the deal. I was good at giving people exactly what they wanted. Being the child of a junkie taught me to slip a mask on easily. All the guys in the new neighborhood warmed up to me real quick. We were outside hanging out, and a flash of red grabbed me in its trance. This cute little thing with a soft round face and wild, untamed curly red hair. She kept staring at me, and I felt like I’d been split open. She didn't smile like the others. She cut straight into the sadness of my soul like she could tell I was a liar, that I was just pretending.
She was the warm sun after a frigid night. Even though I was scared of being burned by her fire, I was drawn to her. I wanted to bask in her glow, but letting her in was dangerous because she could bust open everything I’d tried so hard to keep hidden. That’s exactly what happened when she finally forced her way into my life. She tore it limb from limb until the only thing that mattered was her. She became the centre of my universe, and ten years without seeing her hadn’t changed that.
Ten years. That’s the last time I saw her. Ten fucking years ago. She tried to see me when I was locked up, but I wasn’t having any of it. I should have chained her to me for eternity, but I was a punk kid who still felt like being noble.
I wanted her to have a life of sunshine and roses, not realising that for kids like us, that shit doesn’t happen. Now I know that life is a fuckin’ shit show and glimpses of joy are scarce. That you need to scratch and claw for every piece of goodness because reality is perpetual darkness. The years have proven to me that the only way to get ahead in the world is to be a fuckin’ bastard who takes what he wants without blinking.