His boot scraped over the salt sprinkled on the step as he faced her. She sensed he wanted to hug her but didn’t know if the contact would be welcomed.
God, she wanted someone to hold her before she spiraled completely apart, but no one knew how. Even she didn’t know how to console herself, unsure why some things set her off when she needed comfort.
Untouchable. More fragile than glass and more prickly than a cactus. No one, including herself, knew what to do with such a complicated, difficult person, so they no longer tried.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she lifted her chin and looked up at him, her cheeks chapped from the cold. “Can you take me to go pick up my car?”
His brows pulled tight and he glanced at the empty driveway. “Sure. Where is it?”
“It’s at the garage in town. Last night, I hit some ice and slid off the road. I needed to get it towed out.”
“Are you okay?” His stare studied her face and she realized she never put makeup on and he was likely staring at the bruise.
Meeting his eyes, too emotionally and physically exhausted to pretend, she said, “It’ll heal like all the rest.”
And then I’ll never feel his anger again… The random thought felt out of place as if a stranger had whispered it into her conscience’s ear.
Finn studied her for a long uncomfortable moment. “You know, Erin, sometimes endings are a relief, even though they’re sad.”
Her heart jolted with a spike of panic. Did he know? Was this his way of finally acknowledging all the secrets left unsaid between them?
He’d always known that she hated her house and wanted to get out of Jasper Falls, but he never dared to discuss the why. She never wanted him to. It was too humiliating, acknowledging her family’s dysfunction next to his family’s perfection.
But he was right. Some endings were a relief and at least, now, her house might be a peaceful place.
“I just need to get my keys,” she said.
He waited on the porch when she went inside. Digging through her purse, she searched for her car keys, but she couldn’t find them. She rummaged deeper, checking all the pockets of her purse and her coat, digging through her belongings and examining every crevice. They weren’t there.
“Erin? You okay?” He cracked the door but didn’t come inside.
“I’m fine. I’m just looking for my keys.” Where the fuck were they?
She pulled items out, shoving her belongings onto the hall table. Compact. Mascara. Lip gloss. Her wallet. Random receipts and business cards. The pile built and tumbled to the carpet, her personal belongings scattering everywhere.
Her throat closed, the breath in her lungs blocked by frustration as her eyes welled with more unwanted tears, making it harder and harder to see.
“I can’t fucking find them!” she snapped, turning the bag inside out and throwing it at the wall.
“Hey, hey.” She broke the moment he touched her.
A sob ripped out of her. Not smooth like a splinter, but painfully like a healed over scab ripped open into a fresh wound.
She shattered. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.”
“It’s okay.” He pulled her into a hug and pressed his lips to her hair. “It’s okay.”
He held her for several minutes, until she pushed him away, remembering how his concern could often trigger a sense of claustrophobia in her. It was too much. Too close.
“Let me call down to the garage and see if the keys are in the car.” Stepping away, he took his phone out of his pocket and quietly made the call while she refilled her purse.
“We’ll be there soon.” He ended the call just as she stuffed the last item back inside her bag. “The keys are there. It’s got a few dings and a scratch on the passenger door, but it can be picked up.”
She looked at him, a thousand unspoken gratitudes and apologies swirling between them, but she could only manage one right now. “Thank you.”
“Any time.”
Did he know her appreciation went far beyond helping her with the car?
As she sat beside him in a truck she’d never ridden in before, she stared silently out the window. Finn made a call to his wife, letting her know where he was and what he was doing.
“Love you too, babe. I will.” He set the phone in the cupholder and gripped the wheel. “Philly said she’s sorry for your loss and you’ll be in her thoughts and prayers.”
Erin swallowed, believing his words were sincere.
“Thank you,” she choked out, wishing she had the words and courage to tell him how much his presence meant to her. Until her brother arrived, she’d be navigating this nightmare alone, unsure what to do or how to feel.
Harrison had said he was on his way, but she had no idea how long he would take. She knew nothing about her brother’s present life. Only that he was too busy to visit or call. He hated everything he came from and when he rushed out of their world, he was instantly swallowed up by a fancier life full of long days, late nights, and fast women.