I push that memory away and remind myself that Logan is taken.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell Lexi and she waves goodbye.
The route out of Lexi’s place takes me past Logan’s house. “This is our new home,” I tell Ivy, and she coos in response as if she can understand my words.
A lightness comes over me and my heart pounds with excitement. This is it for me. My life is suddenly taking a turn for the better. With this move, I have a deep conviction that I’m leaving all the heartache of the past year and a half behind.
Chapter 4
Logan
I wake up with my cock agonizingly hard and it takes a full minute to pull myself from the erotic dream that woke me up. I’m confused as to what day or time it is but a quick glance at the alarm clock on my bedside tells me that it’s five in the evening.
Usually, we manage to catch a few hours of sleep during a night shift, but last night was hectic. There was a major accident that resulted in three fatalities, which is always heartbreaking for us. After that, there was a fire in a nightclub downtown and another medical emergency of a man who was having a heart attack.
When I got home after my forty-eight-hour shift, I’d been too hyper to sleep so I’d gone to the cottage to clean up in readiness for Vanessa and her baby moving in tomorrow. I’d finally felt tired enough to sleep just before midday.
I remember with a start that I’m expected at my parents’ house for dinner. It’s also the day I’m going to tell my family about my daughter. I’m nervous as heck at the thought but that’s only because I can imagine the disappointment that my mother will feel at the way in which my daughter was conceived.
I’ve delayed it for as long as I can; Emma is already three months old. I can easily imagine the first thing my mother will ask me. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’
I toss the blankets to one side and force myself to get up. Fresh air gushes into the room when I throw the windows open and stand looking out at the backyard and breath in the clean air.
My hard-on won’t let up even as I step into the shower and turn on the water. An image of Vanessa as she was when I hosed her down pops into my mind and my cock feels like it’s going to explode. I clamp a hand around it and roll the head through my fingers.
Visions of Vanessa float through my mind. I zoom in on her full lips and I imagine them wrapped around my cock, sucking it like a lollipop. I feel guilty jerking off to a relative stranger, but I can’t stop myself. I moan loudly as I pump my hand up and down my cock faster and faster. My imagination takes on an even more erotic turn as I visualize Vanessa on all fours as I plunge my cock deep into her. It doesn’t take long before I explode into my hand and the bathroom floor. The relief is soon replaced by shame and disgust.
I’ve never jerked off to a woman I’d just met and with whom I had no romantic intentions. Longing rises up in me even though I know that Vanessa is off-limits. I finish showering, grab a towel, and quickly dry off. I can’t allow myself to go down the road of viewing Vanessa as a sexual fantasy.
For one, she’s a mom and I don’t go down mom roads. I’ve never dated a mom for the simple reason that you can’t do casual with a woman who has a child. They’re always looking into the future and rightly so, while I’m not interested in the future as far as relationships are concerned.
Then, of course, there’s Ace. I value our friendship too much to mess with his sister-in-law. I finish dressing and grab my car keys. As I walk from the house to the car, I can’t help but think, that this time tomorrow, Vanessa will be living in the cottage.
Not that I have any intentions of socializing with her, but it will be nice to have someone else in the compound. There are so many other questions I should have asked but didn’t. I got so shocked by the news that she had a baby that my brain cells had temporarily gone numb.
Like will there be someone else living with them to take care of her child when she’s at work? Does she have a boyfriend? I don’t relish the thought of another man coming onto my turf, even though legally, the cottage is now Vanessa’s turf.
Thoughts of Vanessa occupy me nicely until I get to my old childhood home. A good thing as I don’t have time to second guess my decision to tell my family about my daughter.