I don't want to be like my pa or my mom. I want to be a good wife, a good mother. I look into Cole’s eyes. They're brimming with tears. He knows my fears.
"You got this, baby," he says. "You're so strong."
"I want to be a good mama," I tell him, confessing my deepest secret, that I'm going to mess this all up.
"I got you, like I've always had you, and you're going to be the best mom in the whole world. I know that with all that I am. I believe in you, Laura. I believe in us."
His words sink into my soul, taking me away from the pain. And instead of screaming, I bear down.
I give in to the burning sensation that's happening a few feet below, and I push and I push. And then, there's a cry.
The most beautiful sound I have ever heard.
"He's perfect," Cole says. "Look at all that hair. Just like his mama. Dark hair. Oh, baby," he says as my baby boy is lifted up to me and placed on my chest. Tears streak down my cheeks. I'm crying, crying with relief and love and devotion, and I can't stop because there is another contraction rolling through me. Another baby desperate to be born.
I push through my fears as another boy is brought into the world. They're identical twins and they have my whole heart.
Cole is practically sobbing. The magic of this moment is unreal. These boys are everything. The doctor asks Cole to cut the umbilical cords, and the fact I was able to do a live delivery with twins so fast is beyond me. All of this feels so incredible. Like a dream, but it's not. I feel like someone could pinch me all day long and I still wouldn't think this is real life because it all feels too good to be true.
"You did it," Cole says, holding one of our boys in his arms, and I hold another and I'm crying with relief and joy.
"I love you so much, Cole."
"I love you more, baby," he says, kissing me on the lips.
I draw our boys to me. They're both naked and squirming around. A nurse helps them each suckle on one of my breasts.
And somehow, what should feel like the most overwhelming thing is the most natural thing in the world.
I exhale, looking up at my husband, my partner, my forever.
My eyes are wide open. Now, I am more than an innocent cherry pie. Cole is right; we are putting down roots. On those ten acres of ours, maybe we should plant some cherry trees.
Plant a whole damn orchard.