“But who is over there? Hazel can’t move him.”
I smirked. “Saul isn’t a complete ass. Just on occasion. My grandparents love him.”
She looked concerned. “If you need to go, it’s okay. Really, I just needed some time to …” She paused and looked at Cullen, who was watching the television. “Grieve. Accept. That kind of thing. We aren’t your responsibility.”
I walked over so that I was behind her, and I leaned down to her ear. “I’m staying with you.”
She turned her head to look up at me strangely. “I don’t think I understand what we are, but right now isn’t the best time for me to figure it out.”
I pressed a kiss to her temple. “We have plenty of time. Now, eat.”
I wasn’t fucking sure what we were either. I felt like our lives had been linked since we were kids. I’d just given in to the fact that I wanted her, and now, she was facing tragedy. Maybe in our situation, most guys would fade out because it was not going to be easy. I wouldn’t be going anywhere. She had me hooked, and I wasn’t sure just how deep that hook went. Right now, the way I felt ready to do anything I could to help her meant it was pretty damn deep.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Bryn
Rio went with us to the park. I needed to get out of the apartment, and I wanted Cullen to get some fresh air. I normally pushed him in the swings, but right now, I was standing and watching as Rio taught him how to pump his legs. Cullen was doing a great job, and the look of pride in his smile warmed me. I needed to feel warm inside.
I still hadn’t told him. When the police had finally called to tell me about the body being released and all I would be responsible for, Rio had taken Cullen outside to go look at the ducks down at the pond behind the apartment. Once that was handled, I’d needed air. I’d needed out. So, we came here.
I would have to tell him. Tomorrow, I had to make funeral arrangements. He had to know. I just didn’t know how to explain it to him. Rio was wrong. I had made a huge mistake. I hadn’t taken him to see his mother. His last memory of her was one when she hadn’t even been sober.
“Look at me, Aunt Bryn!” he called out.
I clapped my hands and cheered.
He was swinging all by himself. Another moment Tory had missed. She would miss them all now. Once, I had told her she needed to be around more. The day she’d missed his first steps, she had said his life was full of firsts, and she’d see most of them and told me to stop being dramatic.
The knot in my throat returned, and I knew I had to stop beating myself up about all I hadn’t done if I was going to be strong for Cullen. Rio couldn’t be there to take up my slack. We had just started this thing, whatever it was, between us, and he had not signed on for Mr. Dad when I had sex with him.
Rio walked over to me after Cullen was going just fine by himself. “Sunshine helping?” he asked me.
I nodded. “Yes, and you. Making him smile like that, teaching him something, and giving him that proud look he has on his face right now. That is helping.”
We stood there for a few moments and watched him swing, saying nothing. There weren’t words that needed to be said. Just him being beside me made me feel as if I wasn’t alone. I had felt alone for so long that the idea I might not be was a relief. Even if it was fleeting, I needed it now.
“He never asks about her anymore,” I said. “Is that my fault?”
Rio snapped his head back around and looked at me. “No. Stop it. Stop thinking this is your fault. He stopped asking about her because he has all the love and stability he needs. What he didn’t get from her, he gets from you. He has you. He has no reason to ask about her. She gave birth to him, Bryn, but that does not make her his mother.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. He was right. I didn’t want to think that because it felt like a betrayal to her, but he was right. Giving birth to someone wasn’t enough. Children needed so much more. I couldn’t think of one time I had seen her give it to him. Not once. My heart broke for all she’d missed out on.
“That’s the luckiest kid I know,” Rio said to me.
I blinked back my tears, not wanting to cry anymore. “Thank you.”
Cullen slowed, then jumped down from the swing before putting his hands on his hips and putting his shoulders back. We both applauded for him, and then he ran over to us.