I stood up. “I’ll go get his bed ready,” I told Rio.
I had expected this and dressed him in his pajamas before the movie started. He hadn’t brushed his teeth, but I wasn’t waking him up to do that. We would floss extra tomorrow.
Rio could leave now, and this wouldn’t happen again. Cullen and I could go on with our lives and find a way to settle into Tory not coming home for a while. Getting back to work was something I had to do. Draining my savings was a bad idea.
After I turned down the covers and made sure the night-light was on, I went back to the living room to get Cullen. Rio stood up as I entered and then scooped Cullen up into his arms. I was going to do that, but I didn’t say anything. Cullen was asleep, so this didn’t matter.
I led the way to Cullen’s room and watched as Rio laid him in bed. I waited for Rio to move, so I could tuck him in, but Rio pulled the covers up and did the job himself. The entire scene was as touching as it was disastrous. That was the kind of thing Cullen never needed to depend on. A man would not be in his life. Getting attached to this one was something I couldn’t let him do.
When he finally stepped back, I moved to the spot beside Cullen, then bent to press a kiss to his head. Even though he was asleep, it was something I had wished for as a child. To have a mother who loved me and made me feel safe. I knew Tory loved her son, but she had never given him that comfort. Our mother had loved us. So much so that she’d killed her longtime boyfriend for abusing us, but a simple kiss, hug, or comfort wasn’t something she had given us.
Rio left the room, and I followed him, closing Cullen’s door as I went. I assumed Rio was leaving now, and I went behind him to say good-bye and lock the door. He was standing there, just outside the entry area. Not at the door, but it was clear he was ready to leave.
“You gonna finish the movie?” he asked.
I glanced at the television, then back at him. “No. Spider-Man isn’t my thing.”
Rio smiled just enough for his dimple to appear. “Yeah, me neither.”
I waited a moment for him to say good-bye or whatever. The silence was only seconds but felt like an eternity. Possibly because I was hoping deep down, he would want to stay.
“I had fun tonight. He’s a good kid. Thanks for letting me crash your evening,” he said, then moved slightly, as if to head to the door.
“Cullen enjoyed it,” I replied, unable to admit I had too.
This was done, and he had no interest in anything more. How weak was I to allow myself to even want more with Rio March even if it had been a fleeting thought?
“Well, I’ll see you around. If, uh, I hear anything about the shit with your sister that I think you should know, I will be in touch,” he told me. Then, with one last nod, he turned and walked the few steps to my door. “Lock up,” he added but didn’t look back.
“Always do,” I assured him.
Then, the door opened and closed. He was gone. I wanted to be glad this evening was over, but I knew it would now haunt my thoughts for a while. Rio was not easy to forget, and he had just made it more difficult for me by showing me a side of him I had thought was gone.
With a deep sigh I felt all the way to my soul, I went to the door and locked it. Then, I leaned my forehead on the solid wood and groaned at my stupid heart. I gave myself a moment to grieve what would never be, and then I focused on reality.
I needed to get back to work, and I needed somewhere secure for Cullen to stay when I worked. Somewhere he felt safe. I didn’t want him worrying about me when I wasn’t at home. If I didn’t come up with an answer by tomorrow, I would call Marley. See if she had any ideas. Although it wasn’t her job to help me with child care, she was the closest female friend I had.
A long, hot bubble bath with a lavender candle burning didn’t ease my mind or help me rest. It took hours before I was able to fall asleep. Luckily, there were no night terrors from Cullen, and my eyes didn’t open until seven in the morning with Cullen standing in front of me.
“I’m hungry,” he said softly as he stared at me.
I rubbed my eyes and yawned, stretching my legs out and pointing my toes before I looked back at him. “Let’s go out for breakfast, and then I need to run to Mobile and talk to a friend about work,” I told him.