“Because it’s the right thing to do,” he says softly, after a long pause.
My thoughts spiral, spinning as I cradle my coffee cup. It’s still warm, meaning that hardly any time at all has passed since we sat down. And yet so much has happened.
I try to think about Declan, how he swept me up, isolated me, and then revealed his dark side.
There’s a chance Asher could be the same.
But I don’t believe it, not for one second. He’s the future father of my children, well in my mind. But I firmly believe there’s no way he’d do something as callous as what my ex-boyfriend did.
“I want to say yes. But I’m aware that makes me just a little bit crazy.”
“I hate the idea of you living in fear,” he says.
There’s that note in his voice again, making me wonder – or wish – he cared about me more than he’s saying. Maybe he wants to protect me, to hold me in his arms like he did in the alleyway… but always, whenever life punches me in the gut.
Be there for me. And never let anyone hurt me.
I push those thoughts deep down where they can’t interfere with common sense. There’s no reason for me to think any of this is based on, what, his tone of voice. Just like with the ride home and the restaurant, he’s being nice, probably seeing me as a charity case.
Still, am I going to turn him down?
This is the offer of a lifetime. If he can really get Declan to back off, it would mean I’d be able to start a new chapter in my life, one where I’m not constantly on-edge thinking about when he’s next going to call or show up.
“Are you sure?”
He chuckles. “Yes, yes, yes. And if three times isn’t enough… yes.”
I laugh, the feeling so welcome after all the darkness. I know I should probably think about it for longer than a few minutes, but my instincts are telling me to do it, to take this opportunity.
The only problem is how difficult it’s going to be to hide the way I feel about him. When he held me in the alleyway, I was so aware of his body pressed against mine, of his strong hands becoming soft and caring as he slid his fingers through my hair.
If I see him more often, how long until I let it all out? How long until he discovers I’m not just some woman in need, but that I have a full-fledged three-year crush on him?
“Autumn?”
“I think I’m going to say yes. I mean… I am. Yes, Asher. Thank you. That’s so kind.”
He nods. “We can arrange it all today. I just need to sort out a few things. How about we take a rain check on the essay stuff until you’ve moved in? We could meet later tonight, or tomorrow.”
“I’m supposed to be seeing Paula tonight,” I say. “It’s a bit of a cheesy tradition, but we get together every two weeks to watch a movie and eat pizza. So I guess it’s a really cheesy tradition. Sorry, bad joke.”
I’m rambling but it’s difficult not to. I just can’t believe the direction this took, and part of me is yelling not to do this, not to take this risk. I’m repeating the past, just like what happened with Declan.
The only evidence I have against that is this feeling deep within, a warmth every time I think about the joy and the life I’m going to share with this man. But that’s not evidence at all, really, considering it’s so freaking insane.
“Okay, great,” Asher says after a pause. “I’ll go and arrange everything now. And then I can give you a ride to your place to pick up your things. Sounds good?”
“Sure, I can do some college work on my laptop while I wait.”
He stands, nodding. “Then it sounds like we’ve got a plan. Oh, one last thing, what’s Declan’s surname?”
“Phelps.”
“Great, thanks.”
I gaze up at him, towering in his jeans and leather jacket, his eyes alight with that unreadable glint. It’s like he’s going to say something – just like before – but then he turns and walks away, leaving me to wonder if I imagined it.
I sit back, gripping the edge of the table, watching as the last wisps of steam rise from my coffee.
CHAPTER TEN
Asher
I drive through the city, gripping the steering wheel so hard I wonder if I’m going to snap it off. There’s too much tension inside of me, gripping every single part of me until I’m sure I’m going to erupt.
First, there was the hug in the alley, and then the story about that dickhead, Declan, and then, toward the end, there were a couple of moments when I almost told her the truth about how I really felt. She kept asking me why I was doing this, and it took every ounce of willpower I possess not to tell her everything.