“Oh, I think I know you better than either one of us would like to admit,” his eyebrows rose with sincerity but in the dim lighting, it was difficult to see the scar, though I subconsciously looked for it. “That goes for you too.”
“Hmm?”
“I think you know more about me than you realize. You and I aren’t all that different.”
“How’s that?” I snickered.
He chuckled as he drew the back of his finger up and down my forearm, “Say what you want but you know as well as I do that we’re both lo
oking for approval from jackasses who aren’t ever going to give us what we want.”
“At least you left,” I insisted, which caused Anthony to laugh cruelly.
“You think I escaped? This is my father’s company. Not only am I surrounded by the people who used to work for him and the clients who knew him better than I did, I’m not doing a very good job. Thankfully, we have the capital but that’s not an endless well. One day, that’s going to stop and if I don’t have my shit together by then, my father’s legacy goes down the toilet and even from the grave, he’s gonna prove what a screwup I am.”
“What do you mean? You seem to not really give a damn what anybody thinks,” I answered, feeling as though there were far more questions swirling around in my mind than I had the right to ask.
“Growing up, I had a lot of practice. My old man was a money-hungry son of a bitch. He hated everyone that wasn’t going to make him rich. Sure, he could be charismatic and charming…he was one hell of a salesman but when it counted, he was a cold, selfish man. He viewed my mother and me as debts to pay rather than family,” Anthony shrugged his shoulders and turned away, subconsciously running his hand over the scar on his eyebrow.
“Did…Did your father do that?” I asked, ushering to the scar, and hoping I wasn’t being too forward.
“Yeah…He was drunk. Usually he was cold and reserved but as a recovering alcoholic, the few times throughout my life he fell of the wagon weren’t pretty, but I sure learned a lot about the kind of man he really could be,” at this, he flashed a grin and tried to shrug it off as though it was no big deal, but he wouldn’t allow me to catch his gaze.
This assured me his past bothered him a lot more than he was willing to let on.
“Lord, Anthony, I’m sorry,” I lamented, knowing that my words were virtually meaningless but not knowing what else to say.
Anthony’s shoulders rose and fell in a careless fashion before he tried to laugh it off again, “Listen, it’s really no big deal. My father is dead. He didn’t kill me, so that’s all that matters.”
“What about your mother?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“She passed away a few years before. My father didn’t kill her either but the way he treated her didn’t add any positivity to her life…Certainly not any incentive to live.”
“God, I am so sorry,” I said again as my mind drifted back to my family, causing me to feel slightly guilty. After all, at least I had them and neither of them had ever raised a hand to me.
“The past is the past and that’s exactly where it should stay. Now, I have the company and if I don’t run it into the ground before the funds run out, I should be set for life.”
“Speaking of your business,” I answered, now wanting to change the subject in an effort to curb my own guilt, “You know this has to be the last time we do this, don’t you?”
“Again?” He chuckled after a moment of silence, probably recovering from the abrupt change in the conversation.
“You asked me what I was thinking about and now, I think I need to tell you. This has to be the last time.”
“Why?” This time, his voice was far more serious, and his eyes were darkened with disappointment.
“You know why, Anthony. You have to go live your life and save your family’s company and I…I have family duties of my own that I need to complete; even if the effort is thankless. Maybe one day, they’ll look back and realize that I tried. I doubt it though.”
“Sahara, have you ever done anything because you wanted to do it?”
“I’m here with you,” I replied.
“And you’re trying to get away as fast as you can,” he teased. “No, but seriously, you’ve never even left this town. There is a whole world out there.”
“And what? You and I can explore it together?” I hissed snidely, taking Anthony back.
“I don’t know. Maybe,” he replied, now sounding slightly insulted.
“Listen, as much as I appreciate the effort, I can’t rely on you…or anyone. We’re not going to travel the world, you’re not going to dazzle me with the promise of far off adventures and we have no future together, so there is no reason for you to even waste your breath,” as I spoke, I rose out of bed, becoming angered by the truth I found in my own words.