My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed. Was Andrew….gay? The thought alone made me blush. I’d never met a gay person before. My best friend, Megan, had kissed another girl at a party once and it had been one of the most scandalous things I’d ever witnessed. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be intimate with someone of my same sex. The thought was honestly pretty disturbing.
“I understand,” I said quietly.
“How long has this been going on?” Mom asked.
“I have no idea,” Dean said. He sighed, making it clear that this matter weighed heavily on his conscience. “But the private investigator told me that it looks like Andrew and this…other man…were very established in a relationship.”
“Oh my god,” Mom said. “I had no idea, Dean. He needs help.”
“He’s an adult,” Dean said sharply. “He’s free to sin, he’s free to make decisions that will damn him.” He looked at me and I shrank in my chair. “Kristin, do you realize that your stepbrother is a deviant? That he’s not normal?” Dean raised his eyebrows, making it clear that I was supposed to agree.
“Right,” I squeaked. “He’s not normal.”
“No he’s not,” Mom agreed firmly. She pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. “Kristin, please leave us. Your stepfather and I have some important things to discuss.”
As I ran up the stairs and darted into my room, I couldn’t help but feel relieved. Oddly, the news about Andrew wasn’t exactly shocking. He’d always been a little different. The weird thing was, I didn’t understand why Mom and Dean were so upset. I mean, sure, it was a sin in the eyes of God…at least, that’s what our Baptist preacher said every week. But it didn’t mean Andrew was any different as a person, right? I mean, if he’d always been like this. I didn’t know what the big deal was.
I normally wasn’t allowed to close my bedroom door for any reason other than changing clothes, but I shut the door quietly behind me and grabbed my laptop from my schoolbag. When I checked my email, it was mostly spam. But I did see an email from my best friend, Megan. Eagerly, I clicked on it.
“Hey girl,
I’m going to Boston for the weekend – I’m gonna stay with my cousin, Amanda. Do you want to come? I bet you’re really wanting a break by now.
Xoxoxo,
Megan”
Instantly, my mood lifted. I definitely wanted to go – even though there was slim chance of my parents allowing it, I was dying to get out of the house.
I just wished they weren’t so upset about Andrew. Maybe that’s a good thing, I thought as I skimmed over Megan’s email for what felt like the fifth time. Maybe since they’re distracted, they won’t even think about it.
The minutes until dinner time crawled by, I couldn’t concentrate on my work, so I’d pulled out Pride & Prejudice for the tenth time. I’d read it so frequently that I almost had it memorized, but it was still my favorite book of all time. Even though it took place in the nineteenth century, there was still something so relevant about the way Jane and Lizzy dealt with men like Bingley and Darcy.
When it was time to eat, I bolted downstairs. The kitchen smelled delicious – I could tell that Mom had made her standard chicken soup – and I sat down in a chair, primly folding my hands in my lap until Dean and Mom joined me. They weren’t speaking much, and Dean’s lips were twisted in a permanent scowl.
It was clear that Andrew and his “deviancy” were still very much on their minds.
By the time Mom and Dean sat down, the trip to Boston was practically all I could think about. I played along with their small talk for a few minutes, sipping my soup and eating quietly.
“Kristin, what’s on your mind?” Dean passed me the bread basket and I took a small roll, toying with it in my fingers. “You’ve been awfully quiet this evening.”
“Oh, not much,” I said, trying to keep my voice as casual as possible. “Just…my friend, Megan, from school emailed me. She’s going to Boston and wanted to know if I could come with her.”
“That sounds nice,” Mom said mildly. My heart soared as she looked at me. “When?”
“This weekend,” I said, buttering a piece of my roll. My stomach was churning but I knew I had to keep up the pretense of at least looking hungry.
“Well, I don’t see why not,” Mom said. Just as I was about to leap out of my chair and jump for joy, the other foot came crashing down.
“Just as long as you’re home for supper,” Dean said. He passed me the green beans and I took them numbly.
I licked my lips. I knew it was now or never.
“Well, that’s the thing,” I said carefully. “Megan doesn’t really like driving at night – it’s dangerous, you know – and she’s going to stay over with her cousin Amanda. She invited me to spend the night, too.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Mom said. She frowned. “Boston is a big city, Kristin. Where does Amanda live?”
My mind buzzed and whirred and finally, I spat out the name of the first neighborhood I could think of. “Jamaica Plain.”