“I mean it’s just,” Calvin said softly, and gestured to the room around him. “We have this great setup here. We moved in together, we’re in a serious relationship. I think we’ve got a great thing going here. And to just lose all that for the sake of a job? I don’t know. The job is supposed to help supplement all this, not lose it altogether.”
Veronica listened, and she supposed he was making good sense. Still, as much sense as he was making, she couldn’t really bring herself to completely agree.
“Well you make a good point,” Veronica said, speaking as slowly and gently as she could. “But honestly, what we have here together… is it really that great?”
Calvin’s face fell, and then contorted into an expression of confusion. Veronica nearly groaned, knowing that their conversation was now going to take a much different turn.
“What do you mean?” Calvin asked, shifting on the couch to face her more head on.
“I think…” Veronica paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. “I think that maybe the situation we’ve created for ourselves is not the situation that’s for the best in the long run.”
An expression of hurt passed over Calvin’s face, and he said nothing. Veronica felt a twinge of guilt, but she knew that she had opened the door, and that she couldn’t very well close it now.
“All we’ve managed to do by living together,” Veronica explained slowly. “Is fall into a routine, and lose all the variety in our life. There’s no spontaneity. There’s no romance. We have a set schedule. We barely go out because you’re so disappointed by the way I conduct my work and you’re worried we’ll go broke.”
As she spoke, Veronica started thinking less and less of how it would impact Calvin, and more about how good it felt to finally get some of these frustrations off her chest.
“I am grateful to live here, and at first it was nice to live with you,” she went on. “But now, I just feel like I’ve been here for the past ten years. We live together, but it’s like all that I do create more problems, without the added benefit of closeness and intimacy. Speaking of which, we also barely ever have sex anymore, and what’s the point of even having our own place together if we don’t even need the privacy.”
Calvin looked shocked by the admission, and she could tell that her comment about their sex life had made him a little uncomfortable.
“I’m… sorry,” Calvin shook his head. “I had barely even noticed.”
“Calvin,” Veronica said, her tone slightly accusing. “I try to come onto you every single night, and I’m lucky if I get any kind of action every two weeks. I hate to break it to you, but that’s really not enough for me. And it certainly doesn’t justify staying here where I have to pay rent when I could just live somewhere else and get paid to do it.”
Calvin still looked a little affronted, and Veronica could all but see the wheels turning in his head as he processed her words.
“I just really think,” Veronica said softly, reaching out to place her hand on his knee. “That this situation could end up being really good for us. We can both spend some time on our own and figure things out for a little while. And eventually, maybe we can try living together again. But for now, I think it will be better if I move out, and you could find a smaller place to live on your own. The contract did say he would pay to break the lease if it inconvenienced me.”
Calvin nodded, but was silent. He seemed a little dejected, and again Veronica felt a little guilty.
“Hey,” she said softly, looking over toward him. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” Calvin nodded, giving her a small smile. “I just had no idea things were like that for you. I mean, I know I was riding you about your job. But I really had no idea you were feeling any of these other things.”
“Well,” Veronica said, shrugging. “I am.”
Calvin was quiet for another long moment. Veronica sighed and ran a hand over her face.
“Look,” she said, standing up from the couch. “I’m going to go take a shower, and you can think all this over. I’ve made my decision, but I can see you need time to process all this.”
Calvin looked up at her, and it looked as though he was about to speak, but he closed his mouth and nodded. Veronica nodded, too, and headed back into their bedroom to shower.
Veronica took her time, as much for Calvin as for herself. She had known this would be hard for him, and he deserved time to accept it. She knew that they still had things to discuss, like packing and a place for him to live. Ultimately, though, it was in essence a done deal.
Veronica got out of the shower and went through her post-shower moisturizing ritual, and then unwrapped her hair. She wrapped her towel around her body and then stepped back into the bedroom. She crossed to her dresser and withdrew a pair of shorts and a tank top, dressed herself in it, then returned to the bathroom to hang her towel up on the rack.
Veronica looked at herself in the mirror for a moment and released a soft sigh. She hadn’t expected for this decision to be so easy, and she felt a little guilty that she had hardly struggled with it at all, particularly given the specific circumstances. She knew, though, that if things between her and Calvin kept going the way they were, their relationship would be on a fast track to demise.
Veronica shut off the light in the bathroom and stepped back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
She blinked and sighed softly to see Calvin already laid out on the bed, looking over at her somewhat expectantly.
Silently, Veronica moved to get on her side of the bed, then covered herself with the comforter. She was more than a little surprised when Calvin scooted closer to her, pressing his side to hers. She looked up raising both her eyebrows.
Calvin said nothing, but lowered his head and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Veronica blinked in surprise, and softly kissed him back, juts as an instinctive reaction. Calvin deepened the kiss a little, and moved his hand to cup her cheek.
Veronica knew that this was just Calvin trying to respond to her complaints with a display of intimacy, and that she should stop him, knowing very well that it wasn’t going to change her mind. Still, they hadn’t been intimate in what felt like ages, and Veronica couldn’t help but feel her body respond.