I drag his underwear down as far as I can, letting him to take them the rest of the way down. I can feel his steel rod pressing into me and it’s massive. Even bigger than I remember actually, which is a surprise. I have him this hard, it’s all because of me and I utterly love that… I love him!
His tip teases my entrance and I beg for him to enter me. Not with my words, but by the way I press myself into him. It’s only when he starts to slide in, that I press my finger against his chest to stop him.
“Wait, no wait!” I lean across to my night stand and I tug out a condom. Apparently, me and Kade are very fertile and I don’t want to make the same mistake again. Even though I haven’t exactly got an active sexual life, I’ve always had one here ever since the pregnancy. I’ve learned the hard way not to make that mistake.
I hand it to him and watch in awe as he expertly rolls it down over himself. If I’d confidently insisted on this in the first place then we wouldn’t have found ourselves in this mess. But then I wouldn’t have Logan, and there’s no way in hell that I can regret that. That one mistake has all turned out really well.
Then, he moves back to me and this time I part my thighs further to invite him in. He slides into me, filling me up in the most amazing way possible. Despite the fact that I’ve already had an orgasm, I can feel another one building. The pleasure that he’s giving me is wonderful. I wrap myself tightly around him and push him in further. This time, with each thrust I can feel words building too, until finally they explode free.
“I love you,” I gush. “Oh my God, I love you too, Kade, so, so much.”
That might not have been the way that I planned to say those words back to him, but they’re out there now… I do want him to know, I just hope everything stays the same afterwards when the truth comes out.
As the words come out of my mouth, Kade groans as if in pain. I hold him tight, kissing him hard to swallow up his screams just like I did the first time that we were together. The memory is awesome, and I think it builds our bond even deeper. At least, it does on my end. I know for sure that this is ‘the one’.
Just for you… that’s what his tattoo means, and I honestly think that I’m just for him too.
We lie next to each other for a while, neither of us wanting the moment to end. I don’t have the fear that I’m going
to try and speak to Kade tomorrow and he’ll ignore me, we aren’t in college anymore, but I can’t fully relax into this sensation either. Not yet. But definitely soon, tomorrow, I will work out a way to finally get it out. I will work out how to make it okay.
“I don’t want to go,” Kade moans. “But I know that I have to.” He tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “But soon we’ll find a way to lie in one another’s arms all night long… if you want to.”
Oh God, I do. I do so damn much. That sounds like heaven, especially with the man I love.
“We will, that sounds great.” I kiss him gently. “I would love that.”
29
Kade
As the bright morning light streams through my bedroom window, I open my eyes with a smile spread across my face. I honestly feel like I really do have it all together now which is amazing. My career is slowly growing, my love life is progressing… what could be better than that? Lucie loves me, she actually loves me. When I first told her that I loved her, I thought that I’d freaked her out, but then she said it back and everything felt right with the world. I’m the luckiest son of a bitch ever, finally getting my third chance.
Almost as an automatic reaction, I grab my cell phone off the night stand and I stare at the screen. Almost right away, I notice a brand new message from Rhiannon, which is strange. I click on it to read what I did before: Hi, Kade, long time no see! We went to the same college, right? If I remember rightly, you were friends with Lucie Smith? How is life treating you these days? Rhiannon.’ But then there’s more, almost as if she had a second thought once she’d messaged me. ‘Oh, sorry, I just remembered that you and Lucie didn’t end on good terms, did you? Oops, forgetful me! I didn’t mean to bring up the girl you left college because of…’
Almost right away I reply, I don’t want anyone to think that’s the case. I would even prefer people to know the truth. ‘Oh no, that isn’t the case. I didn’t leave college because of Lucie! :)’
I smile to myself and drop my phone on the sheets, but shockingly almost moments later, I hear it ping once more, a message from Rhiannon. I grab it eagerly wanting to know what will come next. I still don’t quite know where this is going to lead, I haven’t yet fully made up my mind one way or another.
‘Oops, sorry I’d had a bit to drink last night, I was out with some friends and I think I got all mixed up. That’s right, you didn’t leave because of Lucie. She left because of you. Dur! Haha.’
Huh? I screw my nose up in confusion. Lucie didn’t leave because of me, she left because of the baby. I don’t know if she told her friends though about the baby, but they must have knows about the guy. I know that I should just leave it alone and stop digging, but I’m so close I can taste it.
‘I thought that she left quite a while after me? Because of some bad break up?’
Urgh, I hate myself. I’m an idiot. Why am I doing this? What’s the problem with me? A sadness overcomes me as I stare at the screen, feeling like an absolutely asshole. This isn’t something I should be doing.
‘I know it’s been a fair few years, but I know one thing for sure. Lucie only had one bad break up and it was you.’ My heart sinks, my head spins. ‘I’m not being a douche, I know that we all made mistakes…’
I can’t read anymore, I leap up from my bed and I race down the stairs to find someone, anyone who can help me with this. Luckily, my mom is sitting at the table with her morning cup of coffee clutched between her fingers. I race over to her and practically shake her as I try my hardest to get my words out.
“Mom, mom, mom.” She looks stunned, which is hardly surprising. “I need to talk to you…”
“What’s going on?” she gasps in a panic. “What is the matter with you, Kade?”
“When did Lucie get back from college?” I can barely contain myself. “Like, how long after me?”
“Erm?” She knots her eyebrows together. “I can’t really remember, why? What’s this all about?”