“Freaking mind-blowing, dude,” I said. “Like seriously, some of the best I’ve ever had. Maybe it’s just because it’s her, but I can’t seem to keep my hands off her. She responds to me so well, and we can actually have intellectual conversations. It’s crazy.”
“It sounds great,” Caleb said, smiling at the waitress as she brought us two drinks. “The thing is, it’s got you caught up in knots. She is obviously, at this point, not communicating with you on purpose. Girls know what that kind of shit does to a person. I just don’t understand how you got so wrapped up with this chick so fast. I mean, man, I’ve never heard you freak out over anything like this, even when the parts for projects are showing up late. It’s like she has you wrapped around her finger, and now she’s fucking with you.”
“No, seriously,” I said, leaning forward. “I can promise you she isn’t that kind of girl. Something happened that I obviously missed, and now, she’s spooked.”
I sat back and listened as Caleb continued to talk, trying to make me feel better about the situation. The reality was, though, nothing he could say would make me feel better. I needed to talk to her, to fix whatever it was that was going on. I realized fast that my feelings for her were far beyond lust, and now, I was worried that I had lost her forever.
Chapter 18
A Week Later (Saturday)
Reese
It had been a week since I last talked to Blaine, but I felt like I was in a situation that had no good outcome. Sulking had become my new thing, and I was desperate for some relief, so I woke up and headed over to the office for a bit to play with the dogs and try to clear my mind. They always had a way of making me feel better, even with just a silly wag of their tail. I greeted Lindsey, one of the weekend staff, as I entered and headed back to the pens. As I reached for the door handle, my phone started to buzz in my pocket. Relieved to see Leena’s name and not Blaine’s for once, I answered.
“Where are you?” she asked.
“I came down to the shop to clear my head,” I said with a sigh.
“This Blaine thing still got you twisted up?”
“Yeah, I mean, I just don’t know what to do,” I said. “He’s still calling and texting every day, and I haven’t said a word back yet.”
“Well, I mean, you freaked out, and for good reason,” Leena said. “I know he had a really traumatic experience and you don’t know how to tell him that you own this shop, but you’re going to have to either let him go or make a decision to be honest with him. Think about how he’s feeling right now, not being able to get ahold of you.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I just don’t know what to say. The whole thing has me spooked. I have some really deep feelings for this guy, and I never thought about the fact that I didn’t specify what I did until he told me his story. Right then and there, I was lost, completely unable to process what I was supposed to do in that situation. I want to tell him. I really do, but I’m afraid that he’s just going to run away from me, especially now that it’s going to look like I purposely held back that information and tricked him.”
“I know you’re scared,” she said. “I know that you opened up to a man for the first time ever, and you don’t want your heart broken, but you need to just suck it up and tell him the truth.”
“I know,” I said.
“Or better yet, surprise him with it,” she said. “I mean, make it a happy thing. Bring him there, and let him meet the pups. Show him firsthand that not every animal is mean. Make him realize that your job is your life, and that if you trust those fur balls, then maybe he should open up a little bit and trust them, too. Don’t even tell him where you’re taking him. Just tell him it’s a surprise. Then he can’t back out at the last second.”
“God, maybe you’re right,” I said, thinking about it. “I mean, he might be upset at first, but once he holds Mr. Floppy or sees Rupard’s big sad eyes, there’s no way he can’t melt. It would be a surprise meet and greet, a way for him to realize that all dogs aren’t vicious and mean. And then I can explain to him why dogs do become mean so he understands that who he should really be angry with is the person that made that dog mean to begin with.”
“Precisely,” Leena said.
“Thank you, Leena,” I said with a deep sigh. “I was really thinking I was just going to have to end things with him. I mean, I don’t want to end things with him, but the way it all played out was just so messed up.”
“I know,” she said. “But remember this isn’t a failsafe. Some people are just afraid of dogs, and there is nothing you can do to change that. You need to walk into it knowing there is a chance that he will turn his back on you.”
“I will,” I said. “Thanks again. I’m going to hang out here today for a while, and I’ll call him when I get home.”
“Okay,” she said. “Good luck!”
I hung up the phone and opened the door to the kennels, walking about halfway down and sitting on the floor against the wall. The dogs in front of me quieted once they recognized me, and I looked into their big doggy eyes and wondered what happened that made that dog attack Blaine when he was just a kid. He went through something so awful, and I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to be around animals. A
huge part of me was really excited to bring him to the shop, to give him the chance to maybe move on from that horrible ordeal after all these years. The other part of me was nervous, knowing that fears can get the best of you, and that his fear was much more than that. It was an actual phobia, probably remnants of untreated PTSD from when he was just a child. I was scared that bringing him to this place would dig up some old memories, forcing him to turn his back on me, forcing him to tell me that it was over.
He could be extremely happy to finally feel that overburdening fear just disappear, or he could be absolutely livid at me for forcing him to try. Either way, both my career and Blaine were important to me, and I just couldn’t give up and not try. Animals were my livelihood and my therapy, but he had become a solid staple and a beautiful partner in my life. I had to take a chance on this and hope that I didn’t have to give up one to have the other. As much as I cared about him, I didn’t know if I could walk away from this.
I took in a deep breath and pulled myself to my feet, deciding that I wasn’t going to think about it anymore. I walked into the exam room and smiled at the puppies running around in their enclosure. They were so adorable, and they were growing so damn fast. I sat down on the floor again and opened the gate, letting Mr. Floppy come running out, laughing as he tripped over his ears. I spent the rest of the afternoon right there in that spot, playing with the puppies, giving them kisses, and making sure that they were all healthy and safe. They were my favorite animals at the shop right now, and I needed to start trying to find them homes. I knew they would be the perfect ones to introduce Blaine to first.
I had really become attached to Blaine, looking forward to his texts, his calls, and everything else on a daily basis. He made me light up, feel whole again, and he had really opened up to me, especially lately. I’d come to find out he was just as awkward and just as nerdy as I was. He was just better at hiding it than me. He had stolen my heart. There was no other way to describe it. It was as if when I gave him my virginity, he gave me something back, and I didn’t just mean his dick. He gave me an inside look at who he was, and I felt terrible that I had been blowing him off the last week.
I looked down at the puppy who was staring back at me with his big brown eyes. I was positive that when he took a deep breath and looked into the eyes of one of these pups, there was no way that he couldn’t melt. They were extremely sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly, which was the perfect way to introduce dogs back into his life. I just knew that once he opened his mind to them like he did me, he would love them with everything he had. I wasn’t trying to change him by any means, but I was trying to help him through this.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled down through the messages he had sent me. After the first couple, I just stopped reading them, not wanting to feel any worse than I already did. As I slowly moved down the messages, I realized that I had been avoiding him hardcore. He probably hated me by that point, and I started to feel really, really bad about it. It was never my intention to hurt him or push him away. I just needed to think and figure out how in the world I could fix what I didn’t even realize I had broken until it was way too late. I just knew that I didn’t want this to end, and I would do everything I could to make sure that it didn’t.