Logan
This has been awkward, real awkward all night long. And surprisingly, that has nothing to do with the half drunken arguments circling the room. That’s actually a pretty good distraction. The main problem I have is the odd looks Tamara’s friend keeps sending me, and I have a feeling that I know why. Now that we’re alone, I think it might just come spilling out and that makes me anxious as all hell. I don’t know what Katherine will say.
“So…” I chuckle awkwardly, taking a swig of my drink to cover up the redness. “This is a bit nuts, isn’t it?”
“I presume you aren’t talking about the yelling?” She rolls her eye
s and purses her lips. “No, I guess we’re talking about the first time we met. On the train.” When she says that I feel a tight knot in my chest loosen. It feels even better than I thought it would to talk about it. It acknowledges that it’s real. It happened. I don’t know if there was a small part of me doubting it ever happened. “Have you discussed it with Tamara, yet?”
I shake my head vigorously. “No, I keep sort of trying to, but she shoots me down every time.”
“Almost like she doesn’t remember it?” I nod, thank God I’m not alone in this. “Yeah, she’s been like that a lot and it’s frustrating her.” Katherine leans in closer to me, sharing a secret. “Has she told you about the fall that happened right after the disastrous job interview she had? Don’t worry, that wasn’t your fault, the spilled coffee had nothing to do with it. I know that she massively overreacted to that. She just bombed, I don’t think she really wanted to get the job and that came through so they weren’t ever going to hire her no matter what.”
I nod slowly. “Well, she told me that she had a fall but I don’t know too much about it.”
“She fell down the stairs and hit her head pretty hard.” I sort of knew this, it’s why she has money. “She lost a lot of her memories. The doctor called it short term amnesia so I don’t know what we can do about it.”
“Wait.” I clutch onto my forehead allowing this to sink in. “So, you’re telling me that she doesn’t actually remember me? This isn’t just a thing that she doesn’t want to talk about. She doesn’t know it happened.”
That changes everything. Absolutely everything. Now it’s like a whole piece of our history has been erased. Not that it’s a good part of it, but it was our first meet. That’s strange. I don’t know how to take it. It puts me all on edge. Now as I dart my eyes towards Tamara while she talks to Al at the bar it seems like everything is based on a lie. I have a strong recollection of something that she doesn’t know happened.
“Wait, hold on a minute.” I knot my eyebrows together in confusion. “Why did she come and speak to me on the train? She walked over to me as if she knew me which I thought meant that she remembered…”
“I don’t know.” Katherine shrugs helplessly. “She just told me that she saw a cute guy on the train. I know she doesn’t usually act in such a forward way, so maybe she remembers you a bit…” When this doesn’t bring a smile to my face she tries a different tactic. “I mean it must mean that she really likes you, right? To do that. Perhaps she just felt a spark with you. She’s certainly been very enthusiastic about you which is great…”
It doesn’t feel great, it makes me feel empty and sad about everything. I don’t know why I can’t just be happy about the good things between us, but here I am again, unable to let something go. I’m a lunatic.
“What has she forgotten? It can’t just be meeting me?” I start to feel increasingly desperate with every passing moment. “And did the doctor say anything about when her memories will come back?”
“She has forgotten all sorts of random little things. I think she makes out that she can remember more than she can as well because she’s embarrassed about it, I don’t know why, but no there wasn’t any clue.”
“What if she never remembers?” My heart sinks, I don’t know if I’ll be able to move past it. To have something so monumental in my mind that she doesn’t know about it weird. “Is there anything that I can do to help her?”
Unfortunately, Katherine doesn’t get the chance to answer me because at that moment, Tamara comes back with a very sheepish looking Alistair. He does actually look like he’s humiliated by how he’s acted.
“I think Alistair has something to say,” Tamara tells the table in a motherly tone of voice. “Don’t you?”
“I’m sorry,” he grumbles like a petty teenager. “I shouldn’t have been such a dick.”
“No.” Katherine’s face hardens again. She really doesn’t like Al at all. I suppose I can understand it. he’s great for me, I like him a lot but I can see how he would rub people up the wrong way. Especially this fiery red head. “You shouldn’t have been such a dick, I agree with you. You should have just listened to me, heard me out.”
I have a feeling that she knows this will wind up Al again, which is does. His cheeks stain red and words fly out of his mouth with spittle in among it. “I cannot believe you, I’ve just been forced to say sorry, and you can’t even…” He waves his hands in a disbelieving manner. “This is ridiculous. I take it all back.”
“Oh no.” Katherine folds her arms. “You can’t take it back now. The sorry has been heard. I accept it.”
I bolt upright, screeching my chair backwards to silence them. I cannot go through this again. “Right, I think it’s time to go, don’t you? This has been a terrible idea, never to be repeated, am I right?”
I roll my eyes and snort, trying to make a joke out of this because I cannot stand to think about the amnesia right now. I’ll worry about that when I’m no longer in public and having to deal with other people.
“I’ll get a cab now.” I pull my cell phone out. “We need to escape before glasses get smashed.”
Katherine and Al share an angry look and Tamara darts her eyes everywhere as if she’s fearing as much as I do. The staff probably feel the same way, I know I would if I worked here. This night is done. I’m going to have to get these staggering idiots in a cab before they can cause any more problems.
“That was wild, wasn’t it?” Tamara practically whispers to me as we slide into my bedroom once Al has crashed to sleep on his own bed. We dropped Katherine off first then all came back here. I wanted to use the time home to try and wrap my head around what I’ve learned tonight, but the arguments only got worse in the car. My ears are ringing and my head banging under the strain of it. “I cannot believe how that went.”
She flops onto the bed with her eyes up at the ceiling. I can almost feel the disappointment burning off of her which gives me pause for thought. I don’t think I should bring up the amnesia right now.
“Well, Katherine seems to like me.” Mostly because she’s met me before. “That was the point, wasn’t it?”