“I don’t know. I’m racking my brains but I can’t place him. You didn’t know him already?”
“No, I don’t think so. Although, I thought that too. Maybe he just has one of those faces.”
Ooh, I want to see his face, I want to hug him tightly, I want to hold him. I squeeze myself tight while I think about that wonderful sensation of holding him all night long. I wish he was back here already.
“Hmm, yeah maybe. Or perhaps it’ll hit me when I finally meet him face to face… if it gets that far.”
“I think it might get that far, you know. I’m sure you’ll meet him at some point.”
She sighs loudly. “Urgh, you’re making me jealous, you know. I want to go on a date.”
“I’ll ask him if he has any friends soon, or I’ll find someone nice to set you up.”
If I’m happy, I want my friend to be too. It would be so cool if we could find someone that she likes enough to double date with, but she’s fussy, I suppose, so it might not be the easiest thing ever.
“Right, well I have to go. Now that you’ve disturbed my nap I need to get on with work. I’ve got so much to do before Monday morning and I cannot get behind. It’ll only be me who suffers for it.”
I’m so glad that’s not me. It won’t ever be me. At least not while I have my money rolling around in my bank account… I really do need to work out what amazing thing I’m going to do with it because I’ll never have that amount again. I don’t want to waste it all doing nothing. I’ll regret it forever more.
“Yeah, okay.” I glance towards my computer, deciding that will help. “Speak soon, bye, Katherine!”
Once I hang up the phone I bounce along the room until I bring the computer to life. I hop from foot to foot impatiently while it whirs and the screen lights up. There’s an itch inside my body, one that needs to be set free.
I stare at the list in front of me as a burning excitement races through my system. At first, I thought I might just be copying Logan by looking at the idea of traveling but now I really like it for myself. Of course, I would much prefer to go with him but I don’t want to push him away by diving in too fast. I suppose it could be a good thing to do it by myself anyway. It would help me to spread my wings and soar.
Almost as if he can sense me thinking about him, I get a text from Logan.
‘Hey, how’s it going? X’
‘Great,’ I reply. ‘Missing this though… xx’
I send the picture I took at the carnival, hoping that he’ll like it. He didn’t take one himself and I’d love him to have a permanent reminder of how good a time we had. Surely, that’s not too forward…
‘Aww, look how cute I am! Lol. We should do it again some time xxx’
I sink back into my chair and remember the kiss we shared at the end of the date. It was even more powerful than the first kiss we shared even though it wasn’t leading anywhere, or maybe because it wasn’t leading anywhere, I’m not sure. It felt so special, so intense. I want it again. I wish we could have kissed all afternoon long, it left me a little gutted when he went. But I suppose I’m still here, wanting more.
‘I know, right? How about next weekend? Xx’
That’s much too long for me, but I know he has work and I don’t want him to be forced to reject me because of it. Just because I now don’t have anything to do but wait from Monday to Friday, doesn’t mean the same for him. He’s got this whole other life to keep him busy, a bit like Katherine.
It’s only when I consider the agonizing wait throughout the week that I think about work again. I should have something to keep me distracted that would make it a whole lot easier.
‘I don’t know if I can wait that long.’ I breathe out a sigh of relief as I read those words. Thank goodness it isn’t just me. The fact that he must be as into this as I am makes my chest swell with happiness. ‘Wednesday suit you? There’s this cute little Italian place just around the corner from work if you fancy it? xxx’
‘Text me the address and the time and I’ll meet you there! Looking forward to it. xxx’
I get my reply with the details quickly and as I do I make the choice to get there a little early so I can check out his office. I want to know everything there is to know about him, I want to learn all about him inside and out. I know he hates his job but I’d still like to see more of it. it’s interesting to learn what’s shaped him and why he is the way he is. I won’t go in, I’m not mental, I’ll just take a look from outside.
I haven’t ever been so desperate to get inside someone’s head before, not even Pete in the early days when I liked him a lot. This is different, this is new, this is more. It’s the familiarity. It’s the fact that I feel like I already know him. I guess I just want to fill in the gaps of everything I’m already sure of.
I type his name into the Internet, wondering if there will be anything there but he doesn’t seem to have much of an online presence. A Facebook page that he often ignores and a Twitter account with only three Tweets. The online world doesn’t intrigue him too much, a bit like me. We have more and more in common…
‘By the way, I just want to tell you how beautiful you are,’ he surprises me by texting again. ‘I keep thinking it but I don’t think I’ve said it to you yet xxx’
His words fill me w
ith an incredible confidence, mostly because it’s hard not to believe him when he says it like that. He makes me feel like I’m a much more important person than I actually am and I want to cling onto that. Where Pete pushed me down, he drags me up. Where he made me fear myself, Logan makes me like myself. He’s exactly what I need right now. The fact that he feels so perfect for me is amazing, it makes me forget that he might well vanish and leave me soon enough. I can worry about that when the time comes.