“I know when I started to have real feelings for you. It was when you leaped out of the plane and screamed at the top of your lungs. I saw how willing you were to take that leap of faith and it hit me right where it mattered. You scared me and I know that I didn’t act appropriately. I could’ve handled that a whole lot better, but I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. They were new to me and there’s no way that I could express to you all of that.” He opened the wine and we sat down in his living room where I remembered putting my head on his shoulder.
It was comfortable and serene. There didn’t seem to be anything that could break up this feeling like we were supposed to be together forever.
“I appreciate what you have to say, Marshall, but there’s more to it than you realize. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was cowardly. I may seem strong and confident, but underneath, I still have moments where I’m not the person that you think I am.” I was saying the words, but I still hadn’t gotten to the point of the conversation.
The ding of the stove interrupted my thoughts. He took my hand and we went into the dining room. Everything was perfect. He even pulled out my chair, letting me sit down and then retreating to his own side of the table. We were eye to eye. He lifted the lid of each dish. I could smell the aroma of the Italian pasta, garlic bread and this freshly made ravioli that had me looking at him with surprise.
“My grandmother, god rest her soul, taught me some of the finer things of Italian cooking. I sat at her feet and I learned from the master how to make my own pasta. I think that you’ll agree that it is better than the store bought variety. She always said that everything tastes better made with love.” I was feeling claustrophobic like the walls were closing in on me. I quickly took the glass of wine and downed it in one swallow.
I had a few bites, but I really couldn’t think about food at a time like this. It was delicious and I had to recognize that he had gone out of his way to make this evening special. I had to steel myself for what I was about to say. I knew that I would have the wrath of Lillian down on top of me. I didn’t care anymore and my feelings surpassed any danger that might befall me.
“I’m going to have to say this before I lose my nerve. I was hired by Lillian, Tina, and Julia to make you fall in love with me. They wanted me to break your heart, stomp on it and then leave you to pick up the pieces. I thought that was the extent of it, but Lillian has had it out for you from the moment that you stopped seeing her. She doesn’t just want to break your heart, but she wants to ruin you and leave you penniless.” I could see that the evening had taken an ugly turn. The expression on his face was a mask of euphoria. It was replaced with contempt.
“I’m going to ask you very nicely to leave.” His tone was neutral, but his anger was right there driving like a knife through me by the look in his eyes.
“I need you to listen to me.” That was the last thing that I should have said. He took a long and drawn out breath and slammed down his hand so hard onto the table that the food and the plates lifted at least a foot in the air. They came back down with a resounding rattle of glass and cutlery.
“I think that you have said more than enough. You must’ve been laughing behind my back this entire time watching me fall needlessly and hopelessly in love with you. If it’s any consolation, you are very good at your job. You do know that you’re not much better than those hookers on the street that sell their wares to those with money. You used me for money and I do hope that your payday was worth it.” He wasn’t letting me explain. I didn’t blame him for his hurt feelings, but I had to do something to soothe those troubled waters.
“I’m not leaving here until you hear me…ouch…you’re hurting me.” He had grabbed my wrist and had come around from the other side of the table to lift me to my feet by my arms. I thought that he was going to strike me. He dragged me to the door and threw my coat in my face.
“I can’t stand to look at you. I can’t believe that I was so stupid to let you in. It was my own fault and I guess from your point of view I had this coming. Get out before I do something that we both regret.” There was no point in arguing and his mind was already made up.
I stood at his door trying to come up with the right words and there was really nothing that I could say in my own defense. I had taken the job and I was more than happy to rip his heart from his chest and let him suffer the indignity of having it displayed for the entire world. I had no idea what I was going to do about Lillian, but getting away from the city and my problems was the only thing that came to mind.
“I’ll go, but not until I tell you that everything…” The door slammed in my face and I was left shivering not from the cold but from the icy reception that I had received. I called him, letting it ring and getting his voicemail before leaving a message. I didn’t know if he would listen to it from the beginning to the end. I had to tell him that everything was not a lie. I told him that I was going away and that I wouldn’t be back for a week. I poured out my heart in that message. It was less than a minute before the phone signaled that my time had reached its limit.
I heard the scream and it made me stop in my tracks on the sidewalk. He wasn’t keeping it bottled up. I wanted to run back into his arms. I wanted to give him my hot embrace and that feeling of undying love coming from my heart. I knew that he was in no shape or any condition to hear it. It was better that I get some distance from him and as well from Lillian.
I was kicking myself. I should’ve waited to tell him the truth until after dinner and possibly dessert that would be served hot under the covers. I got into my car, slamming the door and then my hands down onto the steering wheel in that order. I breathed deeply, finally composing myself long enough to drive away and look into my rearview mirror. I could only hope that was not the last time that I was going to see him. He was blind with rage, but maybe in time, he would see that my feelings for him were true.
I still had no idea what I was going to do about Lillian and the obvious betrayal that she would feel when she saw her work unravel in front of her eyes. I was more upset that I had hurt Marshall than I was about Lillian coming after me. I would go to the mountains in a secluded area, wallow in my self-pity and try to come to terms with what I’d done.
LUST
BOOK 3
LUST (BOOK 3)
Heart on the run
Gillian West had what she considered a good life, but then everything changed when three women came to require her services. It seemed like such a simple idea of going after a man that was known for playing the field. Her job was simple. She had to seduce him with her body, break him down with psychological torture and then humiliate him for the world to see. She thought that she knew what she was doing, but she had no idea who was playing puppet master. Lillian had turned out to be more of the mastermind where she wanted more than just revenge. What Gillian wasn’t counting on was learning more about Marshall. What she wasn’t ready for was telling him the truth and then having her heart shattered by his hurtful words. She goes to a cabin, a recluse away from the rest of the world and yet there still does
n’t seem to be a way for her to run far enough.
“The authorities are warning everybody to stay off the roads. If you don’t have to go out, then it is suggested that you hunker down and have supplies ready in case of a blackout. This blizzard came out of nowhere and even the weather forecasters are baffled by how easily they were fooled by only a few flurries. This is a late breaking news bulletin. The roads are treacherous, completely snow packed and icy underneath.” I looked out my windshield attesting to the announcers claim that this was a storm that nobody saw coming.
I had problems trying to keep the windshield from freezing over. The wipers were streaking and I could barely see the hand in front of my face. The wind had picked up considerably with driving snow that made visibility almost nothing. There was no point in turning back and my final destination was no more than a few miles ahead. I was certain that if I took my time that I would get there unscathed. I was one of the lucky ones and I had my winter tires already installed well before the season had begun.
“This just in, the main road is impassable and there have already been several car accidents in the area. The police are advising to stay off the road while they deal with these unfortunate accidents.” I passed one car that had their four-way flashers going off like neon lights. It was a good thing that they had them on because I was almost upon them before I realized that they were there.
I managed to avoid a head-on collision with a transport that had veered into my lane and caused me to act without thinking. I went into a skid, but I managed to pull myself out of it by using evasive maneuvers.
“The weather experts have confirmed that the storm is lying heavily over the area and will persist for several hours. They have categorized this one as a blizzard. Winds will gust up to 50 miles an hour making visibility difficult at the best of times.” I didn’t need a constant reminder, but it was the only station I could pick up in the storm. I tried to find others, but all I got was static. It was very annoying.
There was nobody on the road and the last vestige of humanity was the car and the semi truck that probably was white-knuckling it all the way. I couldn’t think of any good reason for anybody to be out in this. I was the exception. I was running and I couldn’t get far enough away from my troubles.
I was driving like a little old lady from Pasadena. Taking my time at a snail’s pace was the best way to approach this unless I came up against something that I wasn’t going to be able to handle on my own. Even with my winter tires, my car was still sliding considerably, but I had managed not to drive myself into a ditch of snow.