He showed up quite unexpectedly. Seeing him with that downtrodden expression was a dead giveaway that things weren’t going exactly as planned with Stephanie. I thought that they were a mismatch. She was this gorgeous fashion runway model that flew around the globe jet setting with the rich and famous on the red carpet. He was a fairly good-looking guy, maybe 140 pounds, 5’7 and I had to admit that his eyes were the dictionary meaning of the windows to the soul.
“You know as well as I do that Stephanie can do better than you. I don’t mean that to be a slight against your manhood. I’m just saying that your jealousy has manifested into a paranoia that is going to get old quick for Stephanie. Don’t you think that she has had men fawning over her most of her life? She thought that you were different, less intimidated by her good looks and fame and here you are acting like a little bitch.” The one thing that we could count on from each other was that we would always shoot from the hip.
We were sitting in my kitchen and I was touching my lips wondering how I was going to think about the job. I had told the girls that I was going to let him stew for a few days, but that was not entirely true. I needed that time to give myself breathing room. I could barely sleep and I woke in a cold sweat with my hands running down over my body. I had visions of him dancing in front of me and fantasies so vivid that they almost felt like they were alive.
“The one thing that I don’t need you to tell me is that she can do better. I know that I’m just being stupid, but I can’t help to feel that I’m losing her. I’m just lucky that I don’t speak about this in front of her. She has already told me that it was refreshing that I was secure about myself.” He did put on a good façade, but underneath, he was still that insecure little boy that I had taken a liking to in high school.
“I implore you not to do anything that is going to ruin this. I just got you to stop sniffing around my door and I really don’t want to continue to metaphorically slap you with a newspaper like a scalded dog. It’s so much better that you are in a committed relationship.” I had my cup of coffee in both hands and I could see Marshall’s reflection in the swirl of the creamer that I had used to make it more palatable.
“I hated those days. We would go shopping and you would put on this display in frilly little things. I would pine like a lovesick teenager.” He had on his glasses making him look like Clark Kent, but there was really no superman underneath the exterior. I did notice since he had gotten with Stephanie that he was filling out.
“Stephanie won’t leave you and you have nothing to worry about. The only reason why you came over here is for me to pat you on the back and tell you that everything’s going to be OK.” I reached over and did that very thing. I could see the distaste in his eyes and it almost made me burst out laughing.
My fluffy white robe was wide open and the only thing that I was wearing was a sheer negligee that really didn’t leave much to the imagination. I was quite impressed that he wasn’t ogling me like a piece of meat. He had more on his mind than seeing me in my unmentionables. It was a bit of a slap in the face. I could always count on him to show me that my beauty had not waned and that my sexuality was still as hot as ever. It was kinda nice to have him stroking my ego, even though he was never going to get any further than watching me.
“I’m really glad that you’re here for me. I had no place to go. I couldn’t stay in that mansion all alone knowing that she was spending time with her ex-boyfriend. I made it sound like I was perfectly fine and that she didn’t have to worry about me going off half-cocked.” I needed somebody to ground me and make me realize how lucky I am.” I was slightly stunned by what I didn’t recognize upon him entering into my home. He was making an effort to be that pretty package for Stephanie. His body was becoming something that I might take an interest in.
She was that statuesque blonde with the kind of curves that had guys wanting to walk over hot coals to be with her. I knew the day that she took a shine to Jeremy that there had to be something wrong with her. It finally dawned on me that she saw him as the genuine article without being fake or trying desperately to get into her pants.
“I’m glad that you’re feeling better. You’re not the only one that has to deal with their love life. I haven’t been in this position in a long time. I don’t even want to mention his name and I promised myself that his memory would be expunged. All photographs have been destroyed and yet I find myself repeating old habits. I thought that part of me was dead, completely numb and that no man could ever break through the wall that I built.” One good turn deserved another. If he was going to cry in his beer for Stephanie, then I had every right to see how he felt about what was going on with me.
“I know that you’re only dangling the bait because you want me to take it. I’ll play along; even though I think that you’re being a bit more dramatic than necessary. Tell me what’s going on that has you in your own little world.” Since he had broached the topic, I figured that it was best to let the chips fall where they may.
“I’m not over exaggerating anything. I was hired to do a job. There is a secret that I have been hiding from you.” I turned to my laptop on the counter. I brought up the anonymous blog with the indiscriminate photos that I had taken of men in various states of undress. They did not show them in a good light unless you were looking for a cheap thrill at their expense. The captions were quite scalding. “I write this blog and my reputation for shaming men have got me in over my head.”
Jeremy was staring at the screen, pushing his glasses down, so that he could make out every single disgusting act that was being perpetrated. His eyes darted from me and then back to the screen again like he couldn’t quite believe that I was the woman responsible for destroying marriages.
“I don’t even want to begin to tell you how wrong this is. Butting into other people’s business will never end well. With that being said, I can see that something is bothering you and I would really like you to tell me what it is.” He was the most compassionate and caring man that I had ever met. I thought that he was above reproach and yet I knew that he was still a man and capable of being seduced by the opposite sex.
“I usually go after those that are married or involved, but this one is different. He’s none of those things, but he sleeps with just about anybody. He doesn’t care if they are married, but now I have been tasked to make him fall in love with me. Unfortunately, it backfired and I have feelings for him. I thought that I could overcome that obstacle by sleeping with him, but he…he…denied me.” Jeremy’s mouth was wide open in shock.
“You have to stop seeing this man. I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know yourself. He has turned you into the very woman that you swore that you would never be again. I can only give you sound advice and it’s up to you to take it. I know that this is short and sweet, but I really do need to get to work. My boss is on a tirade and even though I do most of the work, he expects me to bend over backward to please him and the board of directors. Do yourself a favor, get some distance, find some perspective and give this man his walking papers. You’ve already said that you don’t do this for the money, so what exactly is stopping you from kicking him to the curb?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer and grabbed his brown suede coat. He put it on and went to the door.
I didn’t like the way that he spoke to me harshly and that only made me want him to sweat a little. I purposely bent over at the sink, my breasts announcing their presence and then I had what most would call a wardrobe malfunction.
His eyes bugged out of his skull as my breasts popped clear of the negligee. He turned and left almost tripping over his own feet and tongue. It made me smile to think that I still had that power to make a man feel like a little boy all over again.
I figured that I would take some of what Jeremy said and take it to heart. I did need to break free of the monotony of thin
king about him every second of the day. He hadn’t tried to call me and I was not going to be the one to reach out first. I took myself shopping, doing some window browsing and seeing some interesting things that caught my eye.
I stopped on the sidewalk for a moment. I felt like somebody was watching me. I took off my sunglasses very slowly and turned quickly to catch who it was that was playing spy. I didn’t see anybody that was making a spectacle of themselves or standing out from the crowd. It really did feel like somebody was walking over my grave and the little hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.
I started to use some of the training that I had gotten the courtesy of an online course in private investigation. For something that only cost me a few hundred dollars, it was entertaining and had a lot of good techniques to use in the field. The one that I had instituted was using the reflection of the glass of the shops to see if anything caught my attention.
I stood in front of this lingerie shop that I knew too well. I admired the mannequins and how delectable they looked in various pieces that would have most men standing at attention. I thought that I saw someone duck down an alleyway. I was letting my imagination run wild and it was getting the best of me. I was jittery and feeling like the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to give Marshall my body on a silver platter. I’d tried that already and he was purposely keeping me at arm’s length.
I went into the shop, fingered the merchandise and found myself gravitating to the dressing room with a few pieces that was going to make me feel like a supermodel in front of the mirror.
“It’s been a long time since you’ve come to see me. I was beginning to think that you forgot about me. Those pieces that you have are from a very private collection. They are one of a kind. I’m just saying that I’m giving you first right to buy them. You have the kind of body that would be perfect. Any guy in their right mind would feel weak at the knees. If you want to make an interesting impression and have them at your mercy, then I would go with the red one.” Tonya was the proprietor and she really did have a good eye for detail.
“I don’t know if I’m in the mood to buy, but I’m a sucker for something that makes me feel sexy. Every girl needs to feel like this. Give me a few minutes.” I saw her high heeled shoes underneath the door. I took off my clothes, stood naked and looked at myself from every angle to see any imperfections that I would have to work on. I had a bit more hip than most girls, but I saw no man pushing me out of bed because of it.
“Take all the time that you need, Gillian. You are one of my best customers. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know that you have been talking me up to the neighborhood. I’ve had some interesting customers as of late. They come in looking so shy, but they leave knowing that their husbands or significant other are going to rise to the occasion. I like giving women that empowerment and I think that is the main reason why I decided to open up the shop. I want to cater to women that want to feel sexy and know quality when they see it. I’ll be out front and I see that a few customers have come in. By all means, take your time and when you’re ready I’ll be more than happy to take your money.” I had several different play outfits, but I knew that I could never have enough.
I had on this black mesh teddy that would’ve made it so easy for Marshall to rip it off my nubile body with just his fingers. The mirror in the dressing room was biased and I needed to see myself without being tricked by the light or how the mirror perceived me. I could see my nipples as plain as day and the mesh was perfect for that teasing gesture, but also quite blatant in its simplicity.
I opened up the door and I came face to face with the man that had caused me all of this angst. Marshall was slapping his forehead. He was looking at me and then turning away. What I was wearing was making it difficult for him to contain his excitement.