On the train back to Alfred, my mind was all over the place. Part of me thought I was crazy for leaving…but the rational part of me knew that I’d done the right thing. So what if I’d felt some kind of crazy love connection to Jackson while he was taking my v-card? It didn’t matter – it had just been sex. That was all. He’d told me himself that he didn’t want a relationship, that he didn’t want to date me.
I swallowed nervously. I should just be grateful that I got it over and done with, I thought morosely. Now at least I won’t have to tell the guy I actually date that I’m a virgin!
But even that seemed like thinking too far ahead. I didn’t want a boyfriend. I didn’t want anyone but Jackson. When I closed my eyes, I saw us writhing around on the bed, moaning loudly and thrusting our bodies together. I saw Jackson slipping his fingers down my breasts, pinching my nipples, making me come harder than I’d ever thought possible. Sex had been like nothing I’d imagined it would be – it had been so personal, so intense.
For a moment, I’d actually thought that Jackson was enjoying himself, too. Don’t be stupid, I told myself. Obviously he couldn’t have liked it that much. He has sex all the time – why the hell do you think you were anything special?
It was with relief that I checked my bank account and saw three commas there, separating the numbers. I’d never had so much money before. I wanted to call Mom and tell her that things had worked out, but first, I wanted some time alone. I wanted to take a bath and try to forget all about Jacks
on Rhodes.
I thought it would feel better knowing that I was never going to see him again. But all I could feel was sadness, emptiness. Like I’d somehow ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me.
When the train pulled into the station, it was almost dark. I grabbed my bag from the overhead racks and lugged it down the steps. I hadn’t thought to call ahead and ask Alexa if she could pick me up. Now, it was bitterly cold and I hated the thought of standing by the parking lot, waiting for a ride back to my apartment.
“Belle?”
I turned around.
Jackson was standing there, an enormous bouquet of lilies and roses in his arms.
My jaw dropped.
“Belle?” Jackson stepped closer. His grey eyes were narrowed with concern, and I saw that he was sweating.
“What?” I frowned. “What are you doing here?”
Jackson sighed. “You left before I could wake up,” he said. He smirked. “Did you know that it’s a shorter drive up here? Well, as long as you speed.”
A lump was forming in my throat and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him.
“Jackson…what are you doing here? What do you want?”
Jackson licked his lips. “I….I realized something, Belle.”
I sighed. “If you’re going to humiliate me, just—“
“No,” Jackson said sharply. “Let me finish, okay?” He sighed and I gnawed nervously at my lip as I waited for him to continue.
“I can’t,” I said softly. “I can’t let you do this – I can’t let you break my heart again, Jackson.”
“That’s not what I want to do,” Jackson said firmly. He pressed the flowers into my arm and grabbed my suitcase with one hand. The winter winds whipped around us but I could no longer feel anything resembling a chill.
“Then what?” I stared at him expectantly.
“Being with you…Spending time with you, Belle, has really made me think about my situation,” Jackson said hoarsely. “I was horrible before. I was a miser – I was cruel, and I know I shouldn’t have ever considered not giving your mom any money.”
My heart sank. “So this is about my mom?”
“No!” Jackson dropped down to one knee. “Belle, this is about you. This is about us. I love you, Belle. I’m so sorry for all of the times I treated you badly. I’m sorry for saying everything and for hurting you. I never thought I could love anyone, Belle, but when I woke up and saw that you were gone…” His voice was choked with genuine emotion. “It hurt so much.”
I swallowed hard.
“And I’ve fallen in love with you, your kindness, your goodness..” Jackson trailed off. “Your willingness to do anything for your family. I’ve never seen that before. I never even thought people like that existed.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But they do. You do, Belle. You’re too good to be real.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I said softly.
“Say you’ll be with me.” Jackson pulled a box out of his pocket and I gasped. Just as I was about to slap his hand away, he grinned. “This isn’t a ring,” he said, opening the familiar, robin’s egg blue box. Inside, a sparkling diamond bracelet was sitting on a pad of velvet. “This is a present for you. I want you to be able to look down and see how much I love you, even when we’re apart.”