“Well, I do lots of stuff Dad wouldn’t like,” Andrew said. He exhaled right in my face and I started coughing violently as the toxic smoke rushed into my lungs. Before I could get a chance to ask him what he’d meant, Mom and Dean rushed into the room and as I’d predicted, began scolding Andrew about smoking in their house.
That had been six years ago. Even though I’d grown up from a teenager into a young woman, I knew deep down that I was still the perfect goody two-shoes, the little princess who listened to every word that came out of Mommy or Daddy’s mouth.
No wonder Andrew thinks I’m a drip, I thought as I watched Mom and Dean exchange a terse look.
“So, what happened?” Mom tried to keep her voice down. I was staring down at my papers, but my ears were glued to the mouths of my parents. I was desperate to hear what they had to say about Andrew – it was the most thrilling thing that had happened to me in at least six months.
“Carissa,” Dean said. I imagined him jerking his head towards me. “Shouldn’t we talk upstairs?”
Mom sighed. I got ready for the inevitable – surely, she and Dean would tell me to leave the room. But what she said shocked me.
“I think Kristin is old enough to hear what Andrew is really like,” Mom said. She flicked her gaze over me. I felt my cheeks flush as I pretended again to be absorbed in my studies.
“Well, if you’re sure,” Dean said slowly. My heart was pounding in my chest as Dean and Mom walked over to the table and sat down.
Play it cool, Kristin, I told myself. Just play it cool. It’ll be fine. I knew I was acting ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it – this was a huge deal for me.
“What happened?” I glance up from my schoolwork at Mom and Dean, trying to read their faces.
“Andrew has always been…difficult,” Dean said tightly. He smiled unhappily. “And while your mother and I have always tried to help, I think that he’s beyond help right now.”
I frowned. “Why? What did he do?”
Mom sighed. “Honey, it’s not really a question of what he did. It’s more of who he is, really.”
“I’m confused.” I bit my lip. It wasn’t a lie. I was so sheltered that I truly didn’t have any idea of what constituted as a “bad” person. If you’d asked me to name someone who was bad, I probably would have replied: “someone who doesn’t pay their cell phone bill on time.”
“Well, honey, don’t worry about it too much,” Mom said with a sigh. She turned to Dean. “What did you hear?”
“He was living with another man,” Dean said through gritted teeth.
I frowned. “Like a roommate?”
“No,” Dean said sharply. “They shared a bedroom.” He and my mother exchanged another dark look. “And it was sinful, Kristin. Do you understand?”
My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed. Was Andrew….gay? The thought alone made me blush. I’d never met a gay person before. My best friend, Megan, had kissed another girl at a party once and it had been one of the most scandalous things I’d ever witnessed. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be intimate with someone of my same sex. The thought was honestly pretty disturbing.
“I understand,” I said quietly.
“How long has this been going on?” Mom asked.
“I have no idea,” Dean said. He sighed, making it clear that this matter weighed heavily on his conscience. “But the private investigator told me that it looks like Andrew and this…other man…were very established in a relationship.”
“Oh my god,” Mom said. “I had no idea, Dean. He needs help.”
“He’s an adult,” Dean said sharply. “He’s free to sin, he’s free to make decisions that will damn him.” He looked at me and I shrank in my chair. “Kristin, do you realize that your stepbrother is a deviant? That he’s not normal?” Dean raised his eyebrows, making it clear that I was supposed to agree.
“Right,” I squeaked. “He’s not normal.”
“No he’s not,” Mom agreed firmly. She pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. “Kristin, please leave us. Your stepfather and I have some important things to discuss.”
As I ran up the stairs and darted into my room, I couldn’t help but feel relieved. Oddly, the news about Andrew wasn’t exactly shocking. He’d always been a little different. The weird thing was, I didn’t understand why Mom and Dean were so upset. I mean, sure, it was a sin in the eyes of God…at least, that’s what our Baptist preacher said every week. But it didn’t mean Andrew was any different as a person, right? I mean, if he’d always been like this. I didn’t know what the big deal was.
I normally wasn’t allowed to close my bedroom door for any reason other than changing clothes, but I shut the door quietly behind me and grabbed my laptop from my schoolbag. When I checked my email, it was mostly spam. But I did see an email from my best friend, Megan. Eagerly, I clicked on it.
“Hey girl,
I’m going to Boston for the weekend – I’m gonna stay with my cousin, Amanda. Do you want to come? I bet you’re really wanting a break by now.