“Who's the father?” Allie asked softly, sitting down beside me. “I didn't think you were seeing anyone – ”
“I'm not,” I said. “It was a one time thing. Just a one-nighter. So goddamn stupid of me.”
“Shhh,” Allie said, pulling me into her and holding me close. “It's okay, Maya. It's going to be okay.”
Was it, though? How could it be? My life was forever changed and I felt like things would never be okay again.
“Well, there are ways we can handle this, clinics that will – ”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, let's not talk about that. I can't do that. My parents would kill me.”
“They don't even have to know, Maya,” Allie said.
I knew she was right. It would be so easy. My life could go back to normal in no time. I could go to the clinic, have an abortion and no one would ever have to know. It could be my little secret. And it could save my life. My plans. My dreams.
But I'd know. I'd always know what I'd done.
“It goes against everything I believe in, Allie,” I said, choking up. “I don't think I can, not easily.”
“Well, you can think about it, Maya. You still have some time, so just think about it, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay,” I said. “I'll think about it.”
But lying to my parents? How could I look at them in the eyes ever again if I did that? How could I sit down to dinner, stare them in the face and keep this secret from them? They might expect it of Luke, but they would be absolutely devasated if it came from me.
I knew I couldn't.
There was no way I could keep this from them. Even if I decided to do what Allie was suggesting, I had to tell my parents. I had to own up to my mistakes. Whether I liked it or not, I had to tell them I was pregnant and find a way to deal with the fallout.
“I'm going to tell my parents though,” I said, feeling marginally better for having decided that. “I have to.”
“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Allie asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don't know your parents, but I know you've mentioned how strict and religious they are – ”
“It may not be a good idea, but it's what I have to do,” I said. “Besides, my dad is a doctor, he'll understand. He'll support me – he has to, right?”
Allie didn't look so sure, and honestly, I didn't feel so sure myself.
“Maya,” my mom said, surprise in her voice as I stepped inside my family home, “we weren't expecting you tonight. Don't you have classes in the morning?”
“Yes, and I'll get up early and drive in,” I said with a fake smile. “I just needed to see you guys.”
Her eyes softened as she hugged me, thinking I came home because I missed them.
“Where's dad?”
“He worked a little late, but he should be home any minute now.”
“Good,” I said, my voice shaky as I removed my coat and scarf, hanging them up on the coatrack behind the door. “And Luke? Is he out for the night?”
I was hopeful. The last thing I needed was for my brother to be there to judge me and to mock me – especially considering the fact that the father of the child was his own best friend. Not that he'd know that, if Reese had kept our secret, anyway. I hadn't spoken to Reese since that night. He'd taken me back to my sorority house the next morning, dropped me off with a kiss and said he was leaving for LA so we probably wouldn't see each other again. I'd felt a twinge of sadness as I watched him drive off, but that was the deal. That's what we'd agreed to.
I just hadn't expected that I'd end up pregnant because of it.
“I think so? He didn't come home from work last night, so I don't really know. You know your brother and his friends,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, I do. All too well.”
“I'm just glad one of our children turned out well,” she said, beaming with pride as she stared at me.