Jordan puts his hand around my waist and tugs me close to him. “I don’t need to hold onto anything from here because the most important thing to happen to me in college is coming with me. I get to keep Veronica.”
It’s so sweet, so touching, but I have to make a gagging noise as if I’m being sick because it’s the only appropriate response. Me and Rachel both. I do appreciate what Jordan is saying and I hope he knows that, but we have to joke around to make all of this a little bit easier. It doesn’t matter what he says, I know Jordan must have some part of him holding onto the past. This place has been good to all of us.
“Well, I’m not going to stick around and listen to you two insulting me.” Jordan moves towards the door. I think he can see that me and Rachel just need a little bit of time together, just the two of us. He’s right, I get to be with him afterwards, but my friend I’ll be somewhat letting go. “But I’ll see you both at the party, right?”
“We’ll be there. Just look for the two hottest girls there. We’re going to be in our best dresses.”
I don’t think that we’ll be alone in our dresses tonight, I’m sure everyone will be dressing up, but it’ll be reminiscent of the night me and Jordan got together. I haven’t forgotten the night me and Rachel strolled to that dumb frat party in our dresses, all confident, just to have our confidence shattered. So many things might not have happened if I’d turned and gone home that night. I suppose I have Tom to thank for that. Me and Jordan surely would have ended up together at some point, but he might have taken longer to ask me out.
It was all perfect in the end. Everything about my love story has been wonderful. I just hope that lasts afterwards when real life gets in the way. I don’t want this wonderful love to be shattered.
“Right,” Rachel declares with determination. “No more moping around, no more being sad. Let’s get dressed up now so we can have a few drinks together, just me and you. We want to turn up to the party fashionably late and a little bit drunk anyway, don’t we? We cannot be the first ones there. How tragic, can you imagine?”
A few drinks just me and Rachel sounds fun. I really like that plan. She’s the only person I want to say goodbye to properly anyway. “Yep, let’s do it. Let’s get dressed up. I’m going to wear the dress I wore to the frat party.”
“Ooh, fun! Me too.” Rachel digs back through her freshly packed bag. “If I can find it. It’s here somewhere.”
I won’t point out that she first saw Tom that night because it’ll put a damper on things. I don’t know if either of them recalls each other that night anyway, so it’s pointless. I want this to be nothing but fun.
10
Jordan
I might be putting on a good front that I’m all okay, that I’m happy and keen to move on, and to be honest up until this point I have been. I’m all for stepping into the armed forces and progressing, getting into the home which me and Veronica will be renting until I earn enough cash to buy us a place, I can’t wait for it. Maybe I’d be more nervous if it weren’t for Veronica. At least I’m not doing this alone. It should be all good…
So, why do I have this slight sense of doubt? I don’t know where it’s come from, it’s hit me from nowhere. Right in the middle of the very last party where we should all be having the time of my life. This is the last hurrah, the final moment to say goodbye to the last three years, and I’m sitting around like a miserable bastard.
At least I’m not ruining Veronica’s night, that’s one good thing. She’s dancing, drinking, and doing a lot of laughing with Rachel. She deserves that. She’s already shed some tears, so I don’t want my moment of madness to make that worse. I don’t even know why I have this odd sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Hi, Jordan.” I’m shocked from my thoughts by Liam talking to me. “How are you doing?”
Instantly, it’s weird. Immediately I feel that familiar tension flooding me again. I don’t know what it is about Liam, we just don’t have anything to bond over. One year of sharing a room was enough. I soon moved in with Aron, one of the guys from the football team, and to be honest I haven’t looked back. I don’t think I’ve given him much of a thought until right now when he’s standing in front of me expectantly.
“Oh, hi, Liam. How’s it going?” I sip my drink, needing something to shed the discomfort.
“Good thanks, and, how are you? It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? How did the rest of college go?”
I let out a little chuckle. It was what it was, to me it’s become more of a training ground. I’ve spent every day getting fit and healthy so I pass basic training with flying colors. That has always been my end goal through everything. “Yeah, it hasn’t been too bad.” I give the blandest answer possible. “And how about for you?”
“Oh, great.” He nods slowly. “I think I did okay in my exams and I have a graduate thing lined up.”
“Oh, well that’s great news.” I genuinely am pleased for him. I want us all to do well. “You must be excited.”
“I am.” He sighs, sounding anything but. “I guess I’m just sad that me and Sandi will have to split up.”
I can vaguely remember the blonde-haired girl who he once asked me out on her behalf. It was a weird situation, but it seems like it’s worked out somewhat. Well, until this moment. Now it seems to be falling apart.
“What’s happened?” I ask him, more curious than I need to be really. “Why do you have to split up?”
He offers me a one shouldered shrug. “Because college is over, isn’t it? We can’t keep it going?”
I turn to face him, now becoming a little demanding. I guess I feel fiercely protective of this subject since me and Veronica are definitely going to make it work. “Why can’t you
? If you’re determined enough, you can.”
“I’ll be so busy with my graduate program and she’s going to be traveling for work. She’s got a position as a photographer, so she’s going to off doing what she needs to do. It just won’t work, will it?”
I gulp down, not liking the way that his words make me feel. I’m already all on edge tonight. This doesn’t help much. What he’s just described is what me and Veronica. She’ll be busy being a journalist, and I’m going to be here, there, and everywhere. It’s scary, I don’t know if it’ll tear us apart in the end. I don’t want it to, I need us to be solid and in a really good place. I haven’t had too much doubt in this up until this point, but now it consumes me. What if she resents being alone for a lot of the time? What if someone else shows her affection?