All of this was news to me. And it struck me as a little bit – contrived. Or at least, naïve.
“So you're a dad and suddenly you want to change who you are overnight?” I said. “Please, it doesn't happen that way.”
“Maybe I changed before I found out, Maya. This just makes me even more determined to clean up my life and figure out what the hell I'm going to do now. For him, you know? For him. For Eli.”
It was a nice thought. Really, it was. But I was still being that naive girl who thought Reese was amazing, when in actuality, he was nothing more than a bad boy who'd been a childhood crush. I didn't want to get my hopes up. These were all words. Words meant nothing if he took off next week.
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I didn't know why, but there was some small part of me that wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“I appreciate that, Reese,” I said softly.
The tears welled up in my eyes, but this time, they were tears of happiness. My son was my entire world, and everything I did was for him. I was even letting Reese into my life – for him. Not for me. Not even for Reese. But for Eli.
“I know you do, Maya,” he said. “And I'm sorry you've had to raise him by yourself for so long. I'm sorry you had to put your dreams on hold for something that happened one night, all those years ago –”
“My dreams aren't on hold, Reese. My dreams have merely changed. And Eli is my world now, everything I want in life revolves around him. So, don't think I regret it, not even for a minute, because I don't.”
“You're a good mom, Maya,” he said, staring me dead in the eyes. “Just know though, from this day forward, you're not going to have to do this alone.”
I hope not, I thought to myself. I really, really hope not.
Reese and I worked out an arrangement – he came over a few times a week to spend time with Eli. And eventually, I let Reese take his son to the park and out on trips, just the two of them. I knew the day was coming where he'd want to tell Eli the truth about who he was, and I knew I needed to break the news to my family too. But I kept pushing it off. Part of me was just waiting for something to happen and for Reese to disappear. And the other part of me was just plain terrified to do it.
But the fear of him bolting was diminishing day by day. It didn't scare me as much now that we'd been doing this for a few months. I was slowly starting to believe that this was real. That Reese was going to be a permanent part of Eli's life.
But I was still afraid of how my parents would react when I told them who Eli's father was. I'd lied to them about the father of their grandson, acted like I had no clue where to find him all these years. When all along, I knew.
I knew because it had to be Reese. He was my first, and at that time, my only.
And the day would come that I'd have to admit that to everyone, Eli included.
And one evening, after Reese dropped Eli off, he stuck around until we put our son to bed, together. It was something that was becoming more and more common and something I was beginning to enjoy. I could tell there was something on his mind though, and I prepared myself for the talk I'd been dreading since I told Reese about his son.
As Reese closed the door to Eli's bedroom, he smiled at me. “Asleep at last.”
“You spoil him, you know? I only read him one book, then it's off to sleep.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, sitting down on the couch beside me instead of across from me. “But I can't help it. When he asks, it's so hard for me to say no.”
“Oh trust me, I know,” I said.
“I know you do,” he said. “I really can't say it enough, Maya, but thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being amazing. Seriously, I couldn't ask for a better mother for my kid.”
I could feel myself blushing, my cheeks were literally on fire. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, but Reese surprised me by reaching out and lifting my face up to look him in the eyes.
“Thank you, Reese,” I said, my voice soft. “I just love that little guy. More than life itself.”
“I know you do, Maya. And I love him too.”
I stared into his eyes and knew he meant it. He meant every word he was saying.
He continued, “And I think I may be falling in love with you too.”