That jealousy that I had felt when he had first told me about her had come back in waves. It was making me nauseous and I wanted to be sick to my stomach.
I could hear her submitting to his will. It was a sound better heard in the privacy of a bedroom than here at the office. I wasn’t sure if I could ever look at that desk again. He was leaning back against it, his pants down around his ankles and his hips moving with the insistence of her oral consumption.
I finally had enough and I closed the door quietly. I didn’t need to see this come to its inevitable end. I had to do something. I went back to the elevator and I made enough noise that they would have to stop what they were doing. I felt bad that I was taking that away from him, but I also felt elated that I was stopping them from showing that kind of affection.
“I know that you are going to be so happy with what I have come up with. I just couldn’t wait to come in to tell you all about it. I came up with a design for those three buildings that is going to knock your socks off. I know that we only have a couple weeks. This design will go on the front of each of those buildings.” I breathed deeply, hoping that they could hear my raised voice and get themselves presentable before I walked in on something that was going to make me go blind.
I had seen more than enough, but not near as muc
h as I was hoping for. I just needed her to move out of the way for a second, but she was glued to the spot.
I opened the door and Julia was sitting there with her long black hair fanning out down her back. I could see from the way the other hand was moving that she was reapplying her lipstick. I could almost guess where that lipstick went. She had marked her territory down the length of him.
"I wasn’t expecting you so early. I don’t see that there’s any reason for us to put off the inevitable. I’ve been meaning to get the two of you together, but our schedules really didn’t match up.” As if to beat him to the punch, Julia stood and faced me in a designer blue and black outfit. I couldn’t understand why she was wearing something like this when she worked at a diner.
“Amanda, I have heard nothing but good things about you from August. He seems to think that we will get along famously. I do admit that I have had some problems dealing with you both working long hours. He promised me that there was nothing untoward going on. I think that it is high time that we meet.” She had her hand outstretched and I wanted to slap it away and tell her that he was mine. I couldn’t do that without laying all of my cards on the table.
One way or the other, I was going to have to put on a brave face and make nice for the sake of appearances. I could see the way that she was looking at me, drawing her eyes down over my body, until she smiled with that telling sneer that had me wondering if she knew what I was up to.
“August has spoken about you often. I don’t know if he knows of any other subject than some quirky little thing that you do that makes him smile. He seems happy and you have to know that he’s not the same man that he used to be. He still looks. You must have noticed those errant glances toward other women.” She looked confused and this was my way to seed some doubt in her mind about their relationship. “I don’t know what it is about men. They can’t settle for what they have without thinking that they can do better.” I didn’t want to lay it on too thick, or I would alienate both of them and make it impossible for us to work together.
“I’ve had my fair share of men that can’t seem to take no for an answer. August comes into the diner once a week and has the same pecan pie. I’m not foolish and I know the reason why he comes in. I turned him down several times, but a few weeks ago there was something different in the way that he approached me. I got this feeling that you might have had something to do with his change of attitude towards women. It sometimes takes a strong and confident woman to put a man in his place. If I have you to thank for that, then I should really show you my appreciation in some way. I know and I could have you over for dinner one on one.” I could tell that she was baiting me and hoping that I was going to grab onto the line like a jerking fish out of the water.
“I think that is a great idea. My two best girls getting along is my fondest wish. I would love to be a fly on the wall, but I have other business that I need to take care of tonight. I have an old friend that’s coming into pitch an idea for an investment that I would be a damn fool to turn down. While we are drinking in his hotel room, I would feel so much better that both of you are looking after each other. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to finish my business. It could be all night, or I could show up in time for the pillow fight.” I wasn’t stupid, but I could tell that August was oblivious to the way that we were sizing each other up.
“Since you have asked so nicely, I don’t see that there’s any reason for me to reject your offer out of hand.” She smiled, but it was not the smile of someone that trusted me beyond reproach. This was the smile of someone that wanted to put me on notice and the best way to do that was to catch me in a trap of her making.
“I’m not going to tell you what we’re going to have. I’m going to surprise you with something that I have been dabbling in the kitchen with. Don’t worry, if it is not to your liking, there will still be that pecan pie that August raves about. I make it from scratch and the diner put it on their menu because one taste and everybody was hooked. I won’t take up any more of your time. I know that the both of you have a lot of work to do and I would hate to interfere in any way. I have to get to class.” Julia had me at a loss for words and I felt a little nervous to be in her presence.
“Class? What are you taking if you don’t mind me asking?” I thought that she was just this diner girl that had aspirations to be something that she wasn’t.
“I’m surprised that he hasn’t told you. I’m in my last year of medical school. I’m only working at the diner to help my Aunt and make a few dollars on the side. Next year, I won’t be able to lend her hand, because I will be too busy putting in long hours at the hospital on rotation. It’s a lot of hard work, but the payoff is worth it in the end. It’s what I do and I think that you can agree that once you find something that you want it’s hard to let that go.” I wasn’t sure if she was referring to our careers or the man that was standing there having no idea that we were talking in code.
“I know exactly what you’re talking about. Once you find something that you’re good at it’s not that easy to walk away. Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s taken away. Sometimes you don’t know how good you have it until it’s too late.” I could play that game as well as she could.
She walked out of the office and my first perception of her was not exactly what I thought it was. This was going to be a tough nut to crack.
There was that elephant in the room that neither one of us was willing to speak of. Julia had laid down the gauntlet and was daring me to cross the line. I was sure that I had given her food for thought. It was possible that she was no longer seeing me as a colleague of August’s. I did like that she saw me as a threat, even though our body types were not exactly the same. She was the kind that was influenced by the airbrushed models in magazines growing up. My body type was different than others. I had to contend with a big boned statue. It wasn’t something that I could do anything about. I’d learned to live with some of my insecurities, but with her being in August’s life made it difficult for me to feel like I could measure up.
“I have to say that your designs put my preliminary drawings to shame. Working together, we’ve come up with something that will give our client a reason to give his approval. I’ll send this off to him at the end of the day. I’ve been meaning to tell you how much it means to me that you have taken an interest in Julia. I really want to make this work. I’ve never been in love and I’ve tried to stop myself from saying those three words with any woman. In the last few weeks, I’ve come close to saying them to her, but I have been reluctant to do so. If you have any advice, I would love to hear from a woman’s point of view.” August was asking me for love advice and how was I supposed to turn down an opportunity to throw a monkey wrench into their relationship.
“It’s been my personal opinion and experience that men say those three words too quickly. They rarely mean it. They only say it because they feel obligated. I don’t want you to do that, especially if you don’t feel it deep down. It’s not fair for you to say something that you don’t feel. Take my advice and you’ll know when it’s right.” He was nodding his head like I was saying something that made sense.
“I just don’t want to lose her because I wasn’t upfront with my intentions. The one thing that I don’t want is to be is alone.” He was finding that committing to one woman was making him break out in hives. I could see him scratching his neck every so often and those three words were really weighing heavily on his mind.
“Anything that is worth doing is worth doing the right way. It takes a lot of hard work and compromises to make a relationship stand up to the test of time. I don’t think that I’m telling you anything that you don’t already know. Women wear their emotions on their sleeve and men seem to shelter themselves from showing any kind of feelings whatsoever. It makes for a different kind of dance. Don’t do anything too rash and risk chasing her away. Besides, you never know and maybe she’s not the one for you.” With that in mind, I bent over and I could see that he was taking notice of the swell of my breasts right in his face.
“I hope that you didn’t feel that I was putting you on the spot by agreeing to her suggestion about the both of you having dinner together. I would never want to put you in a position that you didn’t feel comfortable. I’ve learned that…Oh, Jesus…the hard way.” He stumbled over his words and I could see that bead of sweat trickling down the edge of his nose. It was obvious that I was getting to him and I was surprised that he was able to keep his hands off of me. How could I let him leave and disappear without a trace? He was the only one that knew me at all. I couldn’t watch him leave and not do something about it.
I didn’t want to shed a tear over a relationship that had never amounted to anything more than flirting. I wanted him to take a look at me and not see the empty space of my heart looking back at him. The memory of his face every night haunted me and mocked me into thinking that I had done the wrong thing by pushing him away. I had to find a way to make him turn around in my direction. I had so much that I needed to say to him that it was hard to sit here and do nothing about the heat between us.
“It’s a good idea for me to have dinner with Julia. I can be your eyes and ears. Not many men get the opportunity have a member of the opposite sex play defense. I can learn how she truly feels by getting her to loosen her lips over a bottle of wine that I’m going to bring with me for the occasion.” I could see that the tent in his pants had not gone down from the moment that I had arrived at the office. I was sure that it had something to do with her servicing him, but that would not explain the fact that he was still sporting something that would scare little old ladies on a bus.
“I never thought of it that way. Having a best friend that is of the opposite sex has its advantages.” The sun had dipped below the horizon and the glow of the different colors gave the office this romantic atmosphere that was hard to deny
“Just call me your secret weapon. I want you to find the one that is going to make you wake up in the morning with a smile on yo
ur face. If she does that for you, then I think that it would be in your best interest to use me. Some girls are only after one thing and I’m not talking about what is in between your legs. Some girls like to find a man that is going to help them live without the necessity of working a day in their lives. I don’t see that from Julia. I am worried that she might be equating you with her father. That’s not very healthy.” This little bug in his ear would cause him to wonder and that was exactly what I was hoping for.