At least it isn’t Marie, that’s the one god thing. Maybe it’s the girls from the bar.
“Maybe we should do something to respark his memory.” The blonde hops up onto her hands and knees and starts crawling towards me. I wait for something to ignite in my downstairs area, but nothing happens. I don’t want this, and not just because I feel ill. Not now. “What do you think we can do to make him remember?”
“Oh well I particularly like sucking on him,” the other girl suggests with a cheeky smile and a wink. “Maybe that should happen again, that was a lot of fun last night...”
I need to stop this now, before it spirals out of control. Last night I wanted to be surrounded by people but now I just need to be alone.
“I’m going to be a dad,” I blurt out in sheer desperation. Anything to make these girls vanish. “To twins, so no I can’t do this again.”
The blonde’s expression hardens. “Last night you told us that you can’t have kids. That you never have and you never will, was that a lie, or is this?”
“Er, that was. I don’t know what I was saying I was drunk... I need to go in the shower so if you two can just... you know...” I can’t say go, it sounds too harsh. “Go.” Oh, oops it’s out there.
I run away from my two brand new enemies, I’m sure that’s what they’ll become, hating myself the entire time. I really need to decide how I’m going to act before I do anything else. Am I going to be a man and start acting like a decent human being or am I going to continue down this spiralling path of self destruction? I need to know because whatever I do next is utterly vital to my future.
Who am I going to be?
Chapter Twenty Two – Serena
I can’t believe I’m here, I just... I cannot believe it. It’s horrible.
I’ve resorted to the one thing I never thought I would do, the one thing I tried my hardest to avoid... I’ve come back home. My home town still looks exactly the same; remote, run down, shabby. It’s almost as if it wants to remind everyone all the time that it’s the sort of place that’s going nowhere and that no one ever wants to visit. That’s why I haven’t wanted to come back since I left. The sleek lights of the modern city are so much better than this.
I’m working, I can’t afford the travel, I have to look after Jenny... there have been many excuses that I’ve used over the past few years to avoid coming back home for the holidays, and now I’m he
re again, as a surprise. With a surprise or two. This is going to go really well.
“Hello there, Serena,” Old Men Ted calls out to me in a tone that suggests he only saw me yesterday rather than five years ago. “How are you?”
“Erm, yeah fine.” This place must be a time trap, people just get stuck in the same moment and nothing ever changes. “How are you?”
“Oh good, you know how it is. It hasn’t been easy since my wife died...” Oh God, that’s something I didn’t know about. I don’t know what to say. “But I’m getting there.”
“That’s erm, yeah good. I think I better go. My parents are waiting for me.”
He nods and lets me leave, but as I go the fact that I’m in a time warp doesn’t leave me. It’s almost as if everything that happened out of this town was a dream; the jobs, Jenny, Ben... all of it. If it wasn’t for the reminder in my belly I might truly forget about it all. It’s almost as if I haven’t left school yet, I’m still with Luke, I haven’t done any growing up.
As I stand outside my childhood home, I feel odd, like I don’t belong. All I need to do is take a few steps forward and I’ll be there. But those few steps feel like climbing a mountain. I don’t know if I can do them. I’m aware that I need to, that I can’t move on with my life without making those steps, but I just can’t do it. What am I going to say? Hi guys, I’m back! Oh and I’m pregnant with twins and the father doesn’t want to know. Yeah, that’s going to go really well.
With a deep sigh I take those steps with heavy feet. I don’t think I ever intended to come back, not really. I certainly didn’t ever intend to return here. When I lift my hand to knock on the door, it’s trembling like crazy, but still I make myself do it. When my fist hits the door, the sound reverberates right through me. It makes my head ache and my chest feel weird. I’m filled with utter regret about everything that I’ve done so far.
“Oh.” The door swings open and my dad stands on the other side, looking at me like I’m a ghost from his past. I suppose in a way I am. “Serena. We weren’t expecting you...”
“No, I know. This is a surprise.” I try to smile but it definitely doesn’t reach my eyes. “I just thought I would come home because.” I shrug. There isn’t a reasonable explanation for this. “Because I haven’t in a very long time.”
“No, of course not. Come inside.”
As I step in, I’m in yet another time warp. It’s almost as if I’ve never left. I’m sure if I head upstairs I’ll see my old bedroom looking exactly the same as it always did.
“Hey, sis.” I turn to see a tall boy who’s grown skinner but more manly since the last time I saw him. His presence actually shocks me and reminds me that while nothing looks like it’s changed, absolutely everything has. “How are you? Long time no see.”
He wraps his arms around me and has me gasping in shock. “Ethan, you’re actually taller than me now. I can’t believe it.”
“Well, I am seventeen years old now. I have grown quite a bit.”
“Yeah that’s...” I look at him with shining eyes. “You look good, bro. I’m glad to see you again. It’s been too long, I will make more effort to come back again.”
“Oh my goodness, Serena, Is that really you?” Mom joins us then, with a shocked expression on her face. “I can’t believe that you’ve finally come back home. Have you decided to come back now? You know we want you home.”