“You are being stupid.” John laughed. “You’re fucking thirty-one years old. You’re handsome, rich, and have a great personality. Well, at least when you aren’t balls deep in whiskey. You could get all the women you want with just a flash of the debonair smile of yours. You aren’t done with women forever. Just for now. Besides, what would you do to pass the time without hunting down a girl or two with me?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe read a book, take a trip, or do anything else than being posted up at this shithole, staring out over this sea of idiots.”
“Man, calm down,” John said, ducking his head slightly.
“No, fuck you,” I slurred, standing up from my chair and almost knocking it over. “You ruined everything with your fucking Sherlock Holmes complex. I don’t want any of these stupid bitches. I want Amanda. She broke my fucking heart, dude.”
“Alright,” John said, putting his hand on my chest. “Calm down, bro. Everyone is staring at you.”
“I don’t give a shit about them,” I said, looking up at the faces staring over at me. “Fuck you guys. I’m out of here.”
I threw a couple of hundreds down on the bar to make sure the bartender was taken care of and stuck my wallet back in my pocket. I shook my head at John as I slammed my last shot and wobbled toward the door, putting my hand up and catching myself on the doorframe. The bouncer caught me under the arm and helped me outside.
“You need a cab, Mr. Robertson?” he asked.
“No,” I said, patting the large man on the chest. “That’s my car right there.”
I got in the car, and the driver peered at me through the rearview mirror. I told him to take me home and pressed my forehead against the cool glass. The world was spinning around me, and all I could hear was Amanda’s voice giggling in the background. When we pulled up at the house, the driver helped me up on the curb, and I told him I could take it from there. I got to the front door and leaned over the railing, hurling the contents of my stomach into the bushes.
The house was quiet and empty, and I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I just needed to pass out and start over again the next day. I reached my bed and fell face first into the pillow, still wearing my clothes. I was done for.
Chapter 17
Amanda
I had managed to pull myself out of my funk long enough to shower, do my hair, and look somewhat presentable for the day. I was with Lindsey at her wedding gown fitting so she could make sure everything was perfect before she took it home. While she was in the dressing room, I sat there in the chairs staring off into space, thinking about the courthouse wedding I almost had with Nathan. It was going to be so perfect, and I was planning on wearing some cute, vintage suit like Carrie from Sex and the City. I had searched online and found a couple options I loved, but now, it was pointless. I was stuck in that wasteland of heartbreak, carrying a secret that was kicking my ass both physically and mentally.
My attention was drawn back to the room as I heard the shuffle of layers of tulle coming from the back. Lindsey walked out looking like that perfect bride you see in all the magazines. Her face was bright with excitement as she climbed up on the pedestal and stared at herself in the mirror. She had just gotten the dress back after the alterations, and it fit her like a glove. A very expensive, fifteen-thousand-dollar glove. She turned and looked at me, smiling big.
“What do you think?”
“You are beautiful,” I said with a smile. “The alterations are perfect, and you were definitely right about taking that bow off the back. It made your ass look big.”
“I know, right?” She laughed. “I’m so glad that everything is falling into place so perfectly. I was really worried that my dress wouldn’t come out right.”
I stared at the layers of tulle coming out of the bottom of the form-fitting gown. My head started to feel light, and I could feel all the blood draining from my face. My stomach started to churn as if someone pressed a button.
“Amanda? Are you okay?”
I looked up at Lindsey with confusion before jumping up out of my chair and racing across the room to the bathroom. I threw open the door and fell to my knees, reaching the toilet just in the nick of time. I hurled, not giving two shits that the door was open or that Lindsey could see me. When I was done, I sat back on my heels and wiped my mouth with toilet paper. I breathed heavily, feeling the tears from my watery eyes rolling down my cheeks. Apparently, the medicine wasn’t as foolproof as I had hoped.
“I’m sorry, could you give us a moment?” Lindsey walked to the door of the bathroom and bent down in her huge dress. “Are you still sick, sweetie? You could have just told me, and I would have come on my own. It’s really no big deal.”
“God,” I said, sighing. “I don’t have the flu. The truth is, I’m pregnant. I just didn’t want to tell you right now because you have so much going on.”
“Oh my God,” she said. “You should have told me right away! Have you called Nathan?”
“Yeah,” I said, feeling the emotions starting to roll in again. “But he refuses to answer my calls or texts. He has no idea that I’m pregnant. He pr
obably would just tell me I was trying to corner him with a baby, anyway. He has all of these crazy notions about me, and I just don’t understand. He thinks I was looking up the information on the clinic so that I could steal his money to follow my dreams. Then he threw this obviously fake document at me, and for some reason, he thinks I’m fucking married.”
“That is ridiculous,” Lindsey said, shaking her head. “You have never been married. Where in the world would he get some kind of crazy idea like that? I mean, it should be easy to prove wrong, right?”
“You would think so, but no matter what I said, he just refused to accept any of it,” I said, standing up.
Lindsey couldn’t believe the details of everything. I had kept those back, knowing it would upset her when I told her we broke up. She thought it was just as insane as I did. She took my hand and walked me back out into the main area.
“I just don’t understand how he could believe that you are married,” Lindsey said, shaking her head and looking up as the door opened.