“I’m afraid I do, kiddo. The gym won’t run itself.”
“But I want another fun day with you.”
“We’ll have another fun day really soon, I promise you. We can even go back to the water park if that’s what you want? If you keep being a good boy for Jenny, then we’ll do something amazing.”
“You promise me?”
“I promise, and you know that Daddy doesn’t break promises.” I kiss him on the top of the head. “Now, if you’re finished with your cereal, you should go and get dressed. Jenny will be here soon.”
“Okay. I will. I’m going to wear my dino tee shirt.”
“You definitely should. I like that one on you.”
As he runs away, my heart bleeds again. I always understood Hayley walking out on me, our marriage wasn’t great for a while, I just didn’t want to let go for Alex’s sake, but leaving him without looking back is something I’ll never get. I can’t understand how she can live her life knowing her son is out there. It’s insanity.
I grab my cell phone and look through the recent string of messages that I’ve had from her, shaking my head as I do. These just show how selfish she is. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.
Hayley: Noah, we need to talk.
Noah: It’s been eighteen months, Hayley. What do we have to talk about now? This makes no sense.
Hayley: I need your help.
Noah: With what?
Hayley: Money.
Noah: Are you fucking kidding me? You have a child who you haven’t seen for over a year and you don’t even ask about him? It’s just straight for money. What sort of a woman are you?
Hayley: Don’t be an asshole, Noah. You know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need it. I’m desperate.
Noah: Marvelous. You still haven’t asked.
Hayley: You’re taking care of him, aren’t you? I’m sure you’d tell me if anything was wrong.
Noah: Unbelievable. You selfish bitch. You really don’t give a shit, do you?
Hayley: So, are you going to help me out or not? Or are you going to keep being an uptight asshole?
Noah: Hard pass.
Hayley: Noah, I need it. Please, help me out. I thought you cared about me? You married me for a reason, don’t forget that. You can’t pretend that you’ve never cared about me now.
Hayley: Noah, is this a joke? Why are you ignoring me now?
Hayley: This is a fucking joke.
Hayley: Fuck you, Noah. You never gave a shit about me.
How did I fall in love with that woman? How did I marry her? Honestly, it boggles me now. To keep reminding myself that not all my choices are amazing ones, I’ve kept everything. The wedding photos, the move letters from the early days, the gifts we got each other when we were young and naïve… I guess that’s the stuff I’ll show Alex when he’s older, but I also have the bad things. The screenshots of all the messages she sent other guys, the pathetic note she left me when she ran off with another rich guy, all the times she’s tried to get money from me.
Those memories are just for me, for when I need to reminder.
I sigh loudly and look at the picture Alex has drawn again. There’s a big gap where his mother should be, where she’d never be again. I wouldn’t ever let her back into her son’s life because she’s done nothing to prove herself worthy. I won’t have her being the sort of person who darts in and out of his life. He deserves so much better than her. We both do.
There hasn’t been anyone after Hayley. Not someone serious anyway. I’ve had flings, but she’s really put me off the whole romance thing. It would have to be someone utterly amazing to turn my head for long enough.
“Here, Daddy, what do you think?”