We went shopping after that. Ethan focused intensely on the list he had brought, leaving me to push the cart while he ran around for the things he needed, barely staying in one place for long. I was amused at the time, wondering if he still had the jitters from everything that had happened between us.
Now, though, I can’t help but wonder if there was something more to his behavior. Did he just not want to be by my side for too long?
But then we went back to his house and watched television for the rest of the day. We stopped to grab my laptop from my apartment, and I focused on my research while Ethan slumped beside me…
Not touching me at all. My eyes widen. After I returned from the shower, Ethan didn’t touch me once. I didn’t notice because I was working, and then we picked up Lily. When we all returned, Ethan and I had cooked dinner, stepping carefully around each other in the small kitchen, barely even brushing hands.
Then, while we watched movies, Lily sat between us, like a wall. And, when I left, Ethan gave me a quick kiss before sending me off.
Something is wrong. And, whatever it is, it started on Sunday.
Was it Alex that he was speaking to? His expression was open when he mentioned speaking to Alex, though his jaw did twitch slightly when he said that they were talking about renovations. But why would Ethan lie to me about what they were talking about?
Unless it was something to do with Polly. I scowl. That woman is the bane of my existence, I swear. She’s always in the background, ruining everything.
I noticed, in the last week, that Ethan hasn’t spoken much about Polly to me. I guess it doesn’t surprise me, considering how the two of us had argued when she first showed up at Ethan’s door. He probably knows that I’m not going to have much good to say about the woman. The last time we spoke about Polly was the night I had called him a coward, when he confessed to being afraid Polly was going to take Lily away from him.
And nothing since. Which is strange. Even if Ethan is trying to put focus on the relationship that’s changing between us, it’s odd that he hasn’t mentioned Polly at all, especially with the weekend looming. By now, Polly has probably contacted him about seeing Lily, and I wonder how she’s going to take finding out that Ethan, Lily and I are going to the carnival on Saturday.
I bite my lip. I really need to call him.
I dial his number and press my phone to my ear, looking around. No one is paying attention to what I’m doing while I’m supposed to be working, and my boss is in a meeting in his office. I jiggle my leg nervously as the phone rings and rings and rings. Finally it clicks.
“Hello,” Ethan says, and I open my mouth to reply. “You’ve reached the phone of Ethan Martin. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you shortly.”
There’s a beep and I hang up, shocked. Never have I ever gotten Ethan’s voicemail.
Maybe he’s up on a ladder, I try to tell myself. Or on the roof. That can happen. I usually avoid calling him during work hours, so I have no idea what he would do if his phone rings while he’s balancing precariously on the roof. Thinking about it like that, it’s probably more unusual that I haven’t gotten his voicemail before now.
But I can’t stop the dread that’s forming in my stomach. Something is very wrong. This is too much of a coincidence. I swallow the lump in my throat.
Has Ethan rethought things again?
It’s the only thing that might make sense. I gave him some distance over the last few days, to get his thoughts in order. I thought he needed it. But maybe leaving him to his thoughts was the worst thing I could have done. It must have given his anxieties time to flare up again, reminding him of all the reasons why getting involved in a relationship was a bad idea, even if it’s with me.
My heart clenches. What do I do?
Suddenly, my phone vibrates. Shakily, I open it and read the message. It’s from Ethan.
“We need to talk. Can we meet?”
It sounds ominous. I swallow against the lump in my throat. How can this be happening? We talked about this, didn’t we? We both said that we loved each other, that we were willing to try. Ethan told me that I had won, that he had weighed everything that was important in his life, and I came first.
So what’s happening? Why is this happening? I don’t understand. I swallow and send a message back.
“Where?”
A minute ticks by before I get a response.
“Café outside mall?”
There’s a small café near the mall which closes later, making it popular among workers who finish at five in the afternoon. It’s a nice place and I’ve been there with Ethan and Lily quite a few times. It’s very telling, however, that Ethan doesn’t want to meet me at either my place or his. He’s chosen a place where neither of us has the dominant ground, and either one of us could just walk away from the place at any time we choose.
It does not bode well for this conversation.
“Fine.” I send.
Then I drop my phone to the desk. It lands with a clatter, turning a few heads, but I can’t bring myself to care. I already know what’s going to happen when I get to that café.