The line clicks off. The mechanical voice intones something about deleting the message or saving it, but I’ve frozen, staring down at the machine as though it could answer all the questions that are racing madly around my head.
I don’t know what to think right now. Of everything that I expected, getting that message was the absolute last thing.
I got…a job offer?
My first, instant instinct is that I need to refuse it. I have a job. I have a job that I love very much. The city was never somewhere that I wanted to live; it’s too noisy, too busy and there would be no one I know there.
I pause.
No one I know?
In other words…if I took the job and went to the city…
My heart is beating too fast. I can’t believe I’m even contemplating it. But it’s been a hard day, and last night’s dream did a real number on my heart. I was just thinking earlier that something in my life needed to change.
Taking this job would be the perfect excuse to finally break this tight, constricting bond I’ve formed with Ethan.
“Shit,” I whisper aloud.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to Ethan about this; he’ll probably tell me to go, trying not to look down, and then I definitely won’t go. I’ve enjoyed making friends with Allison and Hayley, but we’re not that close just yet. So…
I whip out my cell phone and call my older sister.
“Georgia?” asks Susie, sounding a little wary. “Is everything okay?”
“Don’t sound so suspicious,” I tease. “Can’t I call just to say hi?”
“You don’t normally call at this time of night, because you know I’ll be putting the kids to bed soon,” Susie says bluntly.
I wince. Right. Susie’s oldest, the twins, who are almost twelve, her middle child, who is eight and the youngest at three, all have fairly strict bedtimes. Around now is when Susie would be getting three-year-old Rory ready for bed.
“Sorry,” I say. “I can call back tomorrow.”
“No, it’s fine, Daniel is taking over,” Susie says, a smile clear in her voice as she talks about her husband. “Thanks, honey!”
I hear a muffled reply and I laugh. Daniel and I have always gotten along great. He’s funny and quick-witted, and once started studying to be a reporter before changing to teaching midway. He and Susie met when I was still a teenager, and I had the biggest crush on him – partly as a cover for my terrifying feelings for Ethan – which is part of the reason why I started becoming interested in journalism, too. When I discovered I genuinely loved it, I continued going, and Daniel was the one that ended up somewhere different, much to everyone’s amusement.
“Sorry,” I say again.
“It’s alright,” Susie laughs. “Now, what’s going on? Is everything okay? How’s Ethan and Lily?”
Even my own sister asks after Ethan in the same breath that she asks about me. Of course, she knows about my feelings for Ethan, but she’s never pushed me to do anything about them.
“I just got a job offer,” I admit. “And I have no idea what to do about it.”
“Don’t you have a job?” Susie asks, confused.
“The main branch in the city is looking for a new reporter to head over there,” I explain. “The office is absolutely huge; I’ve been there more than once. It would be a permanent position there, though, which would mean moving; the city is about an hour away from here.”
“Wow,” Susie says, impressed. “Talk about a big break! You could move there and…” She pauses. “Oh.”
She’s thought about Ethan.
“Yeah, ‘oh’,” I say bleakly. “What do I do, Susie?”
“I don’t know,” Susie says honestly. “What do you want to do?”
“I…” I swallow. “I’ve had a really bad day today. It just doesn’t feel like I’ll ever be truly happy. So, when I got the offer…my first thought was that I could use this to make a clean break from Ethan.”