So…why?
I blink and look at the phone screen again. No, it’s still exactly the same message from Amanda.
“What the fuck?” I burst out.
None of this makes any sense at all. I know things felt off yesterday, both before and after we had sex, but surely that didn’t matter, right? We still needed to talk. I still needed to tell her who I am. Together, we needed to get past all the obstacles in front of it so that we could be with each other.
But now, Amanda is breaking up with me.
I try to cast my mind back and remember if I did anything wrong recently. Did I upset her? The only thing I’ve done wrong, that I can think of, is hiding my identity from her. That’s a pretty big wrong, admittedly, but she doesn’t know about that.
Does she?
Is there any possible way she could have figured it out? Amanda is smart… It would probably be more of a surprise if she didn’t figure it out, if I’m honest with myself. I slide out of bed and gather up my clothes. I’m so distracted that I don’t realize until I get to the bathroom that they’re the same clothes as yesterday’s.
Shit, why is this happening? I turn the shower on and wait as steam fills the bathroom. Damn it, this is ridiculous. I step under the spray, and the scalding water wakes me up.
I need to figure this out. But…not now. Yesterday, I didn’t trust Alicia when she told me to take a step back, and I still think I made the right move. In fact, I think the wrong move was leaving at the end. I should have stayed and talked with her, something I would have done if I hadn’t had a prior engagement.
This time, though, I know what to do. I’m not going to text Amanda and beg for an answer. At least, not yet. I still don’t know if she’s being serious, if she’s thought about this or if it’s a spur-of-the-moment thing because she’s upset about something. If this is something she’s thought about seriously and decided on, then I’ll respect her decision, no matter how upsetting it is.
But if she’s made a sudden decision in the heat of emotion? Then I need to wait for her to calm down, and then talk to her when she’s feeling better.
I’m leaning toward spur-of-the-moment decision, anyway. If yesterday told me anything, it’s that Amanda definitely still wants me just as much as I want her.
So where did this come from? The theory that she might have figured out that I hid from her the fact that I’m the boss of the company that rivals her father’s is definitely looking more likely. Guiltily, I think that her being upset probably has less to do with the fact that I’m technically her rival, and is more because she’s been working at my company and gushing about the deal to me, while I never mentioned once that I already knew about it all.
In retrospect, that’s definitely what I would be most upset about, if I were her.
I sigh as I step out of the shower. I’ve really messed things up, haven’t I? If Amanda really does know what I’ve been hiding, I can’t blame her for being upset. This is exactly what Alicia warned me about if I wasn’t honest and upfront from the start. I’ve had plenty of time to correct my mistake, and now it looks like it might be too late.
Do I still have a chance to fix this? I wipe the mirror and look at my reflection steadily. I don’t know. It depends on what Amanda’s thinking about why I hid from her.
Should it matter? I press my lips into a thin line. Regardless of what she does from here, Amanda definitely has the right to know the truth of the matter. I’ve lied to her by omission and she needs to know why. If she still wants to break up with me, that’s her decision and I can’t say I’d blame her. But I don’t want her to go around thinking I was only using her. I want her to know that I did this because I wanted to get to know her without the stigma of the rivalries between our two companies.
I grimace at my reflection. That sounds ridiculous and overly sappy, if I’m honest with myself. But it’s the only truth I have.
Maybe, if I’m lucky, I can still make it out the other end of this with my relationship intact. Amanda is a very special, unique person. Letting her go, I feel, would end up being the greatest mistake I ever made.
“You,” Alicia says, her cheerful tone completely at odds with what I just told her, “are an absolutely idiot.”
I sink low in my chair across from her, almost sliding under the table our coffees are sitting on.
“Yes, yes,” I mutter. “We’ve established that already. Now, will you help me?”
Around us, the small coffee shop bustles. I asked Alicia to meet me here during the lunch hour, not wanting any of my employees to overhear us. Especially Brandon… I can’t imagine he’d be too pleased if he realized that I might have single-handedly put the deal he’s been working so hard on in jeopardy.
“Give me a moment,” Alicia says, tossing her head. “I’m just basking in the moment as you realize just how utterly right I was.”
I huff and roll my eyes. Alicia can be a real jerk sometimes, I think sourly. She’s my best friend, of course, but sometimes she can be a bit much to deal with.
Unfortunately, I have to deal with her now. I need her help, desperately.
“Yes, you were right and I was wrong,” I say, annoyed. “While you’re busy laughing at my misfortune, can you make sure that some part of you pities me enough to think over how to help me fix this?”
It’s times like this that I miss my parents most dearly. Despite being incredibly rich, Jessica and David Thompson were both down-to-earth, having both come from simpler backgrounds. They tried to instill those values in me, something that was toughest when I was a teenager and was certain that the world revolved around me. I’m thankful that they got to see me mature before they died, but I sorely miss their advice, especially in times like this. With them, things wouldn’t seem so bad, and they would definitely have a way to help me fix my relationship with Amanda.
Alicia eyes me and her face falls.