My hands gripped the steering wheel as I raced home. I drove through my favorite fast food joint and decided to have at it tonight. No more fucking salads and fruit juices to try and keep my weight under control. It sure as hell wasn’t making a difference. I could taste a double bacon cheeseburger and cheese fries like it was right against my lips, and I was going to have it.
I drove through the drive-through and tossed caution to the wind. I got myself the burger I wanted piled high with all the bacon I knew I could handle. I supersized the cheese fries and got the most caffeinated soda they had. I drove home, my vision dripping red as I slammed out of my car.
I stalked into the kitchen and stood over the sink as I began to eat my food.
Grease and ketchup dripped against the stainless steel. I moaned with every bite I took, feeling my double-chin grow larger by the second. I swallowed bites so big it hurt going down, and I chugged my soda as I felt the glorious caffeine shoot through my veins. I felt alive. Ever since I’d gotten pregnant, I tried to follow everything by the book. I didn’t give into cravings, and I ate only fresh foods. I stayed away from caffeine altogether, and I started painting with paints that were nontoxic. Hell, I fucking switched out my deodorant and stopped dying my hair because I knew those chemicals were toxic for my growing child!
But not tonight.
Now, I’d had enough.
I’d had enough of being pregnant and not having control of my body. I’d had enough of the drama and the world crumbling around us. I wished we hadn’t come back from Europe. I wished we had stayed in Barcelona. I was ready to call Ramon up right now and hand-deliver those fucking paintings to him before planning another art tour that would keep me away for good. I could settle along the vineyards of Italy and drink and paint for the rest of my life. I could get fat off freshly-made pastas and wake up to freshly-baked pastries. I could grow as fat as I pleased and paint pictures for people who enjoyed my art until the day I passed from this earth.
“Hailey?”
Bryan’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as I swallowed the fries I was chewing.
“Can this wait?” I asked. “I’m eating.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I snickered and shook my head before I took another bite of my burger.
“Please talk to me,” he said. “Don’t keep shutting me out.”
“I’m hungry,” I said.
I grabbed my soda and took a massive chug before I swallowed everything down.
“Is that a soda?” Bryan asked.
“It very well is. You got a problem with that?” I asked.
“I thought you were cutting out caffeine is all,” he said.
“Things change. You okay with that?” I asked.
“Whatever you need, you know I’ll give it to you.”
“Uh-huh.”
I took another bite of my burger and moaned as the grease dripped down my face.
“Rough day at the gallery?”
“You have no fucking idea,” I said.
“Wanna talk about it?”
If that was what this man wanted, then bring on the jousting. I was ready to pierce his chest, rip it open, and shove all the hurt and pain I was experiencing into him, so he could deal with this shit.
“Do you know a Laura?” I asked.
“Doesn’t ring a bell. Why?” Bryan asked.
“Tall. Thin. Toned muscles. Long blond hair. Ocean blue eyes. Doesn’t ring a bell?” I asked.
Bryan’s silence caused me to turn my head and look at him. I saw the shocked expression running over his face as I took another bite of my burger. I felt the ketchup dripping down my chin, but I didn’t care. He knew exactly who I was talking about. I finally had him in the corner I wanted, and I was about to pounce.