“What do you mean was Dixon’s stepsister?”
“She died. In the Blue River fire three years ago.”
Tragic newspaper articles flash in front of my eyes, memories of the devastating fire at a local high school compressing my lungs. I can still see the headline: Eight students perish during a Saturday detention. It was all everybody could talk about for months after it happened. Rumors and false information spread through town like wildfires. They’d say it was a cigarette that did it one day, and a faulty gas line the next. No one could figure out what started the fire.
Eventually, it was filed an accident.
Crushed by lawsuit from the victims’ parents, Blue River High closed its doors, earning Riverside High, its competitor and the only high school I’ve ever known, a dramatic number of transfers. Then people moved on with their lives. Forgot all about it.
Even I’d forgotten about it.
“I’m so sorry” is all I can think to say.
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I’m past it.”
Sure didn’t look like he was past it last night.
“Are you sure? Because yesterday, it sounded like you were blaming yourself. You said it was your fault.”
“It was. Kind of. Took me years to forgive myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m the one who landed her in detention. She would’ve never been in the school if it weren’t for me.”
“Oh.” I nod, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more.
I remember the guilt on his face.
The agony in his voice.
There has to be more.
“You should go.”
His request stops my racing thoughts cold.
“What?” I blink at him.
He can’t be doing this again.
He scoffs. “You heard me. Go. I just told you my mom is a crack addict who prostitutes herself and my ex-girlfriend was burned alive. Why the hell are you still here? Run. Save yourself before my fucked-up life swallows you whole.” He gestures to the door. “I won’t hold it against you.”
I’m struck dumb.
“Is that what you think I want?”
He pauses.
“I think it’s what you need.”
If it weren’t for the fact that he can’t even look at me, as though he can’t bear the possibility of me coming to my senses and taking his advice, I might actually fall for it. I might actually buy that he wants me out of his life.
But acting was never his strong suit.
And giving up isn’t mine.
“No.”