“Winter, please…” He steps forward, which results in me stepping back so fast you’d think I was trained. I’m acting like a hurt puppy. Untrusting, terrified to suffer again.
“Don’t,” I warn. The closer he gets, the harder it is for me to keep it together.
“I’m so, so sorry. If you would just let me explain… I miss you. So much. I’m losing my fucking mind here. Please let me come home so we can talk about this.”
I snap. “Talk about what? The fact that you’ve been lying to me for months? The fact that you made me believe you loved me so much you’d leave your entire life behind for me, when, all this time… You were just… choosing your revenge over me?”
“I didn’t choose my revenge over you. I know that’s what it looks like, but—”
“It doesn’t just look like it. That’s what happened.”
“I didn’t choose. I could never choose.” He steps forward, and this time, I let him. “I guess I just thought I could have both. And I know it sounds fucked-up. I know I’m a fucking disaster, but I’m a disaster who loves you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
I can feel the tears amass in my eyes. Not now. I was fine barely a second ago, but seeing him in front of me, hearing his voice, getting wrapped up in his scent, it leaves me defenseless. This is exactly why I didn’t want to see him.
“I should’ve told you why I couldn’t go with you the first time. I should’ve told you that the second I found him I’d be on the first plane back to you.”
“No, it’s okay. I hope you find him, I really do. I wan
t him to pay for what he did. I hope you get justice for your sister.”
He stares at me, dreading what’s coming.
“But?”
“I just hope he’s worth it.”
Pain ripples through him, but I don’t let myself watch a second longer, terrified that every second near him is a second closer to my undoing. I tear my eyes away, turn on my heels, and walk back to the girls.
Twelve. Twelve times. I’ve broken the “no Haze” rule twelve times in less than five hours. Even after the random encounter with him at the mall, I told myself I’d keep the Haze talk to a minimum. Did it stop me from bawling like an actual baby and telling the girls all about him the second we came home? Nope. Luckily for me, the guys stayed at the mall longer than we did, which earned my liver a chance in hell at surviving tonight.
Sitting on my bed, I wait patiently for Kass to finish straightening my hair while Allie hypes me up. I know she means well, but I can recognize a pity compliment when I see one. The boys are playing video games in the living room. I’m sure Kass was glad to get away from Will—even if it’s just one room away. Being in Will’s presence seems to soak up every drop of happiness from her body. I think she still has feelings for him, although she’d rather die than admit it.
I smile at Waze, who’s sleeping peacefully at the end of the bed. In the past few days, he’s made me so happy, yet so unbelievably sad. I feel awful about it. It’s not his fault. He’s perfect, but everything about him reminds me of Haze. I mean, his name literally represents our entire relationship for God’s sake.
Bringing the glass of wine in my hands to my lips, I stare blankly at the wall.
I hate red wine.
But it tastes better than my tears.
Wow, that was really dark.
“What do you think was in the bag?” Kass works the last piece of my hair.
“I don’t know. An engagement ring maybe?” Allie suggests.
“He wouldn’t dare propose just to get her back, would he?” Kass asks.
“I don’t know. Not that it would work if he did. Hey, Winter, I’m sorry I lied to you for months, but would you marry me? For real this time?” Allie scoffs. “I mean, the guy’s not that stupid, is he?”
“I beg to differ.”
My eyes jump to Kendrick standing in the doorway. We didn’t hear him come in.
Allie smiles at him. “Hey, you.”
“Are you guys ready yet?”