That Haze Adams was just a pit stop, not the final destination. Just a chapter, not the whole book.
He’d have another girl on his arm. He’d be holding her hand, laughing. We’d exchange awkward smiles and pass each other on the sidewalk like two strangers who were in love once upon another life.
Now I know my moment is never going to happen. I’ll have to see him again in court, testifying about a time when he loved me. His presence in Canada tells me one thing: if Haze is still here, so is Marcus. He still hasn’t avenged his sister’s death.
Or is it that he met another girl? One that gave him a reason to stay? Whatever it is, I’m glad Kendrick told me before I stepped into the courtroom and came face-to-face with my ex. And, as I glance at the date on my locked phone screen, I hate that I won’t see “Two days until we get Maika back” anymore. From now on, I’ll read…
Two days until I see him again.
34
Nothing But The Truth
For months on end, I waited for this day. Waited, obsessed, nearly lost my mind, all over this one moment. I feared the outcome of this trial—found myself constantly battling this voice in my head saying, “What if we lose?”—but let me tell you, what I thought I was going to feel is absolutely nothing compared to how I actually feel.
And that pit in my stomach, my heart’s annoying tendency to crawl up my throat? All thanks to the blue-eyed boy they’ll be calling to the stand soon.
When we stepped into the courtroom earlier, I was surprised to see it didn’t resemble my expectations in any way. Not sure where I picked up the high ceiling idea, but this is a rather small room, with no windows and cool white lights plastered to the ceiling.
The doors open.
Sitting with Jay, Kendrick, Judy, and Allie, I keep my gaze straight ahead of me. I don’t want to turn around because I know if I do, there’s a chance that I’ll see him. And I’m not particularly eager to get my heart ripped out of my chest today.
Allie’s eyes fly to the door before it even closes. She doesn’t say a word, just sends a glance my way. Her eyes apologize for something she didn’t do, and the second she covers my hand with hers, I know…
He’s here.
I’m thankful that I’m seated near the front. So thankful that, unless I intentionally turn around, I won’t catch a glimpse of him. Not until I’m absolutely forced to. The trial begins and I force myself to focus, but I can’t stop thinking about him sitting barely a few rows behind me.
As the plaintiff in this case, my father gets to present his witnesses first. It is explained that since Maika is legally under the age of reason, we decided it would be best for her to stay home with Harry’s father today.
First witness up is the mental health professional that was ordered by the judge to run a psychological evaluation on both my mother and father. She goes on to speak about Lauren’s poor evaluation results, how her mental health isn’t at its best—what a shock. Next is Harry’s mother, Claire, who recalls the night of the accident, confirms how my mother disappeared on us, talks about how she had to go retrieve Maika from a friend’s house herself. So far, things are going well. The evidence pointing to Lauren being an unfit parent keeps piling up. Only a mental case would allow a six-year-old to go home with her at the end of this.
Then they call for him.
When I hear his name, I regret never taking a class to learn how to breathe like a human. My pulse goes wild in my neck, and Allie’s hand finds mine. I appreciate her support more than she’ll ever know. I hear his footsteps approaching, see him walk to the front from the corner of my eye.
Then he’s up there.
Shit, I can’t do this.
My head hangs low. I stare at my shoes, count the seconds until this is over. It’s all I can do.
“Please raise your right hand.”
Maybe if I avoid looking at him this entire time, it’ll be like none of this ever happened. Like the boy who ripped me apart isn’t right in front of me.
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”
“I do.”
My entire body contracts at the sound of his voice.
How the fuck can a voice affect me this much?
He handles every question like a pro, carefully detailing the awful things Lauren told him when she was wasted the night of the accident. Even if recording someone without their knowledge, as long as you are yourself a part of the conversation, is legal in Canada, the recording was still rejected as evidence. He tells them about her admission to not loving me, her own daughter, to being disgusted by my existence, the whole shebang.
Then comes the time for Lauren’s side to counter-interrogate him.