At a loss for words, he steps forward.
“Because I… I knew you wouldn’t let me go.”
“Go where?”
Tell me that you were preparing a surprise. Tell me this isn’t what I think. Tell me you didn’t go looking for the one person you promised not to chase anymore.
Tell me before I break for the last time.
“Winter, I’m so sor—”
“Haze, you can either tell me where you were today or leave,” I snap. His face darkens, and he averts his gaze to his feet, a clear sign of his guilt.
“I received a video yesterday,” he begins. “It was a video with a lead on…” He pauses, as if he knows that Marcus’s name will change everything.
Say it. I need to hear it. Please, Haze. I need you to completely shatter what’s left of me.
Maybe I’ll finally understand.
“A lead on Marcus.”
There it is.
“I went to check on it today.”
“And you told me you were going to see Vic,” I state.
“Winter, listen, I will tell you everything, just hear me ou—”
“Go.”
Color vanishes from his face.
“What?”
“You heard me. Go. Get out of my house.” The pain beats my heart to a pulp.
“Winter, please. You’re never going to believe what I found today. I think I might have him. Just—”
“But you lied about it. That’s all that matters, Haze. You lied. Like you always do,” I say a lot louder than anticipated. “So please… Please go.”
Only then does he seem to realize how serious I am. He opens his mouth, like he’s looking for the right words to say, but none come to his rescue. He’s stunned as he turns away and opens the door. Don’t go, my heart screams. But my brain is louder. The way it should’ve always been.
Just as he’s about to walk out, he stops and glances at me.
“What does this mean?” His voice breaks.
He can’t ask me that. He can’t ask me if this is over. Because I’m afraid I will say the right thing for once.
Even if the right thing completely destroys me.
Even if the right thing feels wrong.
“What does this mean for us?” His eyes are bloodshot.
God, do I love him.
I love the man who doesn’t know how to love me back.