“And I know it might be difficult for you to believe but…” He pauses. “I do love you, brother. I hope you find everything you’re looking for.”
He ends the call.
His words haunt me as I walk away from the shittiest of trucks. She should be enough. Ironic that, in the end, my psycho brother turned out to be wiser than me.
He’s right. As long as Marcus is free, enjoying life after he stole Des’s, I can never give Winter Kingston the love she deserves. I can never treat her the way I should. She needs a man who can close his eyes without seeing a murder on replay. She needs someone who isn’t a threat to everyone she loves. Someone who would never be the reason for her father nearly losing his life. For the first time since I’ve met her, it dawns on me, really dawns on me. One day, I’m going to lose this girl. One day, I’ll have to let her go.
But that day…
Is not today.
28
Confession
WINTER
Walking toward my apartment with Waze on a leash, I curse the new theme song of my life: Silence. It’s become a usual sound for me during these past few weeks. Every time it’s broken, it feels odd. Sure, Allie and Kendrick come over to the apartment sometimes, but the majority of my days are spent alone with Waze. The thought makes me sad. Silence should never be a “forever.” Silence should only be a “sometimes.”
Tonight is the exception. My dad was finally released from the hospital, and since we weren’t sure if Lauren would be waiting to ambush him at home, he and Jay settled into my guest rooms. After we ordered food, they both passed out, exhausted from all the emotions the day had brought upon us. Maika will be visiting with Harry’s parents in a few days.
I had to help my dad get around in his wheelchair and do basically everything tonight. Jay and I switched tasks every once in a while, but it only went to show how helpless we’d be in the instance that we couldn’t afford help for him. I stopped by the house to get some clothes for them, and I was angry, but not surprised, to see Lauren’s stuff still there. But that’s a problem for another day. I have more than enough drama with my disappearing ex-boyfriend already.
Still no sign of him. Not even a phone call. I meant it. Part of me knows that’s his way of telling me the “I love you” that made my heart beat again wasn’t a lie.
But then why did he leave?
Why isn’t he calling me back?
I don’t know how much more shit I can handle. I want to go back. Forget the moment he made a deal with Kendrick at the beginning of it all. Time travel to when we first met and run the other way before we made eye contact in the hall.
Forget I ever loved him.
“Let’s go home,” I tell Waze as we head back inside the building from his walk. It’s close to eleven already. I lost track of time. As soon as the elevator doors open, I pick up Waze and huddle him up to my chest. I find myself daydreaming about Haze being home when I turn the corner, but…
The person at my door isn’t Haze.
It’s Caleb.
Leaned back against the wall, he’s on his phone.
“Caleb?”
“Winter, hey.” He looks up and moves out of my way. I unlock the door the best I can with Waze in my arms.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“Al told me about your dad being released today and this whole thing with your mom. I wanted to check up on you.”
“Oh. That’s… sweet.” I push the door open. I’m really not in the mood for company, but I feel bad. He came all this way just to show his support, and we did make up at the party. Halfheartedly, I invite him in.
“How are you?” he asks when we sit down on the couch a few minutes later. Waze jumps in next to me and makes himself comfortable. I’d recognize the look on Caleb’s face with my eyes closed.
Pity.
“Al also told you about Haze, didn’t she?” This girl.
“Yeah. Sorry. She told me he left without a word. So, it’s really over? You’re really done with him?” he questions.