I did not just lose Winter over a lie.
“It meant nothing.” She chokes on the sobs.
The implications accompanying what she’s saying punch me in the gut. Inexplicable moments start to make sense. Questions start to find answers. All these nights when she was working late, she wasn’t working…
“You cheated on me?” I ask, but it still comes out as a fact.
“Baby, please. It was a mistake. You have to believe me. I regretted it as soon as it happened. I didn’t love h—”
“Wait. Hold on. Are you… trying to spare my feelings right now?” I cackle in anger. “Do you even hear yourself? That’s not what I’m mad about. I don’t give a shit that you cheated, Riley. I care that you lied about me being the father. How could you do this to me? To Jacob?” I can’t help but raise my voice at her, so furious I could destroy everything within my vicinity.
“As soon as I found out he wasn’t yours, I went to his father and he wanted nothing to do with him. He kicked me off his porch into the pouring rain, screaming that this wasn’t his problem. Then, when I told you, you didn’t want him either, and I… I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do, so I left. I thought I could start over until…”
“Until recently. When I texted you,” I finish. She nods, sobbing louder. “And you decided to pretend Jacob was my son again. How sick are you?”
“You don’t understand. I can’t do this anymore. It’s hard raising a child by myself. I don’t have the means.”
I know that by “means” she’s referring to cash.
“Money?” I spit in disgust. “You did this for a damn check?”
“Haze, baby, please.” She grips my clothes. “Okay, maybe in the beginning it was all I wanted, but then… then I saw you with that bitch and I remembered how amazing you are. I saw the way you looked at her and… I want that. I want you. I want what you guys had.”
I get away from her grasp, my brain unable to decide which abomination to focus on first.
Winter…
What have I done?
“Do you have any idea what you just did? What I just lost because of you and your fucking lies?” I spit.
“What? You mean her? She’s nothing. Anything she’s done to you, I’ll do better. I can be the one you need. I was the one you needed once.”
I don’t even hear a word she’s saying, the memories of her walking out the door haunting me.
“She was right.” I break with each word. “She was right, and I didn’t believe her. How could I not believe her?”
When Riley sees my semi breakdown, she doesn’t say anything and stares, her expensive mascara rolling all the way down to her neck.
“Get out.”
“What? Haze, please. You don’t mean that.”
“I said get the fuck out!” I have to shout to get her to listen.
When she realizes that her tears aren’t making a difference and the mess she’s made isn’t this easy to clean up, she finally walks out of the door. I don’t let a second pass me by and run upstairs. I don’t know what I’m going to do, how I’m going to do it, or when I’ll do it. I don’t know anything, but I don’t care. I know the most important thing of all.
I’m going to get her back.
Winter
“How many times am I going to have to say it? I’m sorry,” Kendrick begs, following me around the kitchen and doing what he does best which is annoying me until I wish I was deaf. We’re on day two of me ignoring him. It’s as apparent as the bags under my eyes
that I’m not ready to talk to him, but he won’t take a hint. He keeps saying that I should be over it by now, which only makes me angrier.
I don’t know how exactly he expected me to react to the news that he’s the one who sent Ryder to Colton Gate to start shit between Haze and me. Yes, turns out Ryder doesn’t have family in Haze’s hometown. The only thing he had was a desperate need for his leader’s approval.
He claims that everything else he told me was true and apologized. I hate that I can’t even be mad at him. He was a pawn in Kendrick’s game. He just wanted to be accepted. Kendrick said he needed a way to test Ryder, their newbie who was dying to be in the East side main fighters’ close circle, whatever that means.