He’s right. There’s no point. It takes everything I have to delete his texts. No matter how many times he apologizes, he can’t just “unhave” a kid. His apologies wouldn’t change anything. This can never work. We’re a lost cause.
My finger selects his number, and I take a deep breath…
Before pressing the Block This Contact button.
Kendrick parks the car in Maria’s driveway, and I’m tempted to tell him to get back on the road. Here we are. Back to the place where it all began. Both Kass’s and Maria’s car are here. Kendrick said they both took the day off work when he told them about our return.
“You ready?” Kendrick asks.
“Not even close,” I say.
We pull the trunk open to grab our luggage, and I’m exhausted just thinking about all the questions Maria and Kass will ask us the second we step foot inside the house.
The first thing we see walking through the front door is my aunt cooking dinner. I salivate at the smell of her food. I’m still starving. My salad didn’t want to be in my mouth and apparently much preferred being on my clothes.
Her face lights up when she sees us.
“Winter. Thank the Lord.” She runs to me and pulls me into one of her familiar hugs. When her arms close around me, I want to cry an ocean. I’ve been holding it back since I left the lake house. Since I left him… I knew Kendrick wouldn’t understand, so I pushed it down, but I can’t do this anymore. I could use Allie, my best friend, right about now, but she’s back in Toronto. I’ve been texting her the entire time I was in Colton Gate, but it’s not even close to the real thing. There’s so much she doesn’t know. She doesn’t even know about Haze. Only she can make me laugh even in the saddest moments. I wish she was here.
But she isn’t. I’m alone. No matter how surrounded I am.
Kendrick says something about going to meet the boys—who he hasn’t seen in a while—and quickly leaves. He slams the door, and I start apologizing to Maria, trying to somehow make up for all the worries I’ve forced on her without meaning to in the past few weeks.
“Is that Winter?” I hear Kass call from the second floor.
Footsteps come stomping down the stairs, and my cousin turns the corner rapidly. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror in the hall. I look like hell. My eyes are still puffy from crying. When Kass sees me, she doesn’t say a word. One quick look at my face is all she needs. She captures me into her embrace. Again, the hug awakens in me this undeniable urge to cry, but this time, I surrender. I let the tears flow. I cry, and I cry, and I cry until I can’t breathe. Maria joins in on the hug, and they hold me in silence, telling me that everything is going to be okay.
Maybe… I’m not completely alone, after all.
“I get it. He was trying to do right by his son. His hands were tied.” Kass throws herself back onto my bed and stares at the ceiling. “Oh, and what’s that Riley bitch’s address? I just want to talk.”
I laugh at her question. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. It felt so liberating to pour my heart out. I told her everything that happened between Haze and me, from the first day at the lake house to the last—okay, maybe I didn’t mention our steamy times—and she turned out to be way more understanding than I anticipated. I can barely recognize her. She’s far from the girl who once chastised me for sleeping at Haze’s place forever ago. It’s like she can relate. Either her relationship with Luke is more serious than I thought, or she’s been with someone else. Kass was always quick to judge, but somehow she’s different now. She understands boy drama.
Maria couldn’t stick around for the story. Turns out the emergency at the hospital didn’t care if she’d taken the day off. They desperately needed staff, and she ended up going anyway. She asked me if I was okay thirty more times before leaving, and I told her that I’d be fine. We all have to experience heartbreak one day or another, right?
Only, the word heartbreak doesn’t seem appropriate. This feels like a heartexplode, or a heartdestroy, or maybe even a hearthammer. Someone add these to the dictionary.
“Canada, come say hello!” a voice shouts from downstairs.
Will. I missed the idiot. As soon as she hears Will’s voice, Kass hugs me, says that she has to do homework, and walks out of my room. I’m a bit surprised by her sudden departure but don’t think much of it. I walk down to the kitchen and see Will and Alex standing next to the door. It feels like I haven’t seen them in ages. I hug Alex first. Then comes Will’s turn.
“Wow, you look like hell,” he says mid-hug.
“Still completely tactless, I see.” I pull away.
“Always.” Will smirks. “Hey, where’s the new guy?”
“He’s outside. He had to take a call,” Alex replies.
“Oh, the new guy’s here?” I ask Kendrick, curious to see who they chose as a replacement for Blake. Immediately, his face changes and he rubs at the back of his neck, which has always been a gigantic red flag when it comes to my cousin.
“Winter, about that…” He seems uncomfortable.
Will’s eyes widen. “Wait, you didn’t tell her?”
“Tell me what?”
“Will, shut up,” my cousin hisses.