“I… It’s just… This is nothing new.”
I can already hear him scolding me when the words break free.
“What do you mean?” He frowns.
“You know, this… me.” I shift uncomfortably and curse myself for feeling this way. I can’t even put words on what I’m feeling. It sounds so lame. It didn’t get to this level yesterday. I thought about it, but it didn’t bother me that much. Probably because I had the safety of my underwear. I wasn’t going to be fully vulnerable. In a way, I could still hide.
My body language seems to make things clearer. I can tell he understands when realization fills his gaze.
“Seriously? Is that what you think? That you’re nothing new?” He’s a mixture of angry and confused.
“It’s just… you’ve been with a lot of people.”
“So? You have, too,” he says.
“It was just one,” I whisper.
His eyes grow at my sentence, but he tries to hide it. I think he always knew it, deep down, but he just needed confirmation. For a second, my inexperience seems to scare him.
He inhales a sharp breath.
“Do you think that I did this with any girl?” He pauses, reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. He lifts them up to get me to stare. “Or this…” He slowly leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead. “What about this? You think I did that with them?”
He pulls my face closer and brings my mouth to his. My stomach flutters. I kiss him back, but he pulls away quickly, careful not to let the tension rise.
“I never, ever kiss during sex. I never looked into these girls’ eyes. Not once. It’s too intimate. So if you think that you’re nothing new, you’re wrong. This is more than new. This is a first. Winter, I might know sex, but I’ve never known someone like you.”
I can feel the pit in my throat melting away with every word. I’m baffled by what he just said to me, completely dumbfounded by how adorable he can be when he tries.
He closes the distance between us and kisses me again, only to whisper something in my ear a few seconds later.
“You see, the difference is… I might’ve wanted them for a few hours, but I could want you for the rest of my life.”
My mouth flies open.
Haze’s eyes immediately portray worry at my reaction.
“That sounded way less like rushing things in my head, I swear,” he says rapidly and I chuckle.
Is this real? Did Haze Adams just get scared that commitment would scare me away?
It’s official. The world is upside down.
His words spin around in my head. I might’ve wanted them for a few hours, but I could want you for the rest of my life.
This is without a doubt the cutest thing anyone will ever say to me in my entire existence. Yes, will. I’m claiming right here, right now, that this will never be topped. That no one else will make me feel the way he just did with a few words.
Ever.
Haze just won that award.
But he also won something else.
Without a word or warning, I slam my lips to his. He seems surprised but immediately grants me access to his mouth, kissing me back. I let my hands explore his chest, and he grunts when my fingers tug at the black elastic waistband of his boxers.
I want him.
I’m done being afraid.